What's up guys. So I'm 21 and up until this point I've been pretty happy/confident in my game (hookups, cold approaches, etc.) But last semester (I'm a senior now) I ended up being exclusive with this one girl I had been friends with since freshman year. It was kind of weird because we were both just friends and kind of decided that we weren't gonna date. Last year however she began showing increased signs of interest (coming over all the time, staying at my place, always texting me, cooking me dinner) and it took me by surprise. She ended up breaking up with her bf at the time because he was too "clingy" (always calling her while having nothing to say, emailing her cuz she wouldn't reply, acting pretty AFC/Beta I guess?) and right after I decided to take the plunge and we started dating. Coming from humble beginnings myself and knowing what its like to get fucked over I knew I had to play this out right. The thing is I don't really have much experience in "relationship game". At first she would reply to texts immediately, always find excuses to hang out, show lots of affection, etc. I would always be the one to text back way later, find excuses NOT to hang out, and show indifference/aloofness. All the information I've read about says to have your own life/activities, not be too available, never open up/be emotional, etc. but recently its like she started playing the game and now she's not texting back immediately, not wanting to come over as much, and generally not showing "as much" affection as before. Granted I live off campus and she lives on campus whereas last year we lived right next to each others' dorms. I mean we're perfectly fine but I guess it's kind of getting to me, which it shouldn't, maybe its just the course of relationships idk but I strive for perfection in most things I do and I want to do this right. My question is what is the right balance or how do I calibrate to keep her attracted. I'm primarily worried that I've been doing too much of this "not being available/aloofness" stuff and now its getting to be a contest of who cares less since she's been acting a little bit differently. Kind of like a "You don't want to hang out and text me back? Fine I can do that too" thing.

A few examples:

Last night: Her - Sup boyfriend 11:28 PM
Me - Stopping crime, redirecting apocalyptic asteroids from hitting earth, helping old ladies cross
the street, you know nothing out of the ordinary. Sup with you cutie 11:43 PM
Her - Umm nothing as cool as that. Just chillin studying. *** just went home.
Lunch tomorrow? 11:46 PM
Me - Maybe, just lemme know when you're done with class, mine are cancelled 11:55 PM
Her - Okie dokie, gonna watch Hidalgo. Such a good movie 11:56 PM
Me - Well doing ruin it for me I still have to see it. Hittin the hay though, night beautiful 12:11 A
Her - Good night handsome 12:12 A

Today: Her: Lunch at 12:30? 10:49 AM
Me: Can't make it today, hmu when you're done with class. We can head to walmart after and get
some ice and go to the lake. 12:16
Her: I'm going to a class at 4 so im just studying in the library. 2:07

I haven't replied yet. I know it doesn't seem weird but some of it is strange to me. Before she would've blatantly asked me to come over to chill or watch a movie whereas now she just tells me about it. And when I'd suggest to do stuff she'd be all excited and make more plans (I.E. "Oh yay, we can bring food and blankets and make it like a little picnic, we should totally jump in too ). Maybe I've overthinking this but I don't want anything to slip by. Any relationship advice/tips would be extremely appreciated. Thanks guys.

1. Don't read too much into messages, they barely tell any of the story and can be misconstrued in many ways. IMO, she doesn't seem aloof at all.

2. Don't be too unavailable too often or she'll just be disheartened and will eventually stop trying. Usually that stuff is mainly for before you've made it 'official'.

3. This is off-topic but just a little note for these forums; your messages are easier to read if they are broken up into small points. A lot of people would see the big intimidating paragraph and not bother reading what you've put.

Good luck amigo!

_________________
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

I think the problem is you are expecting her to make plans. Which you should do. A couple things you could have done differently:
1. when she said she's gonna watch a movie, you could have said "Lets come over we can watch it together"

2. You cancelled lunch. I'm assuming because you were busy. I'm just hoping not because you wanted to seem unavailable because in that case that's a bad idea.

3. If this bothers you talk to her. Tell her that it bothers you that you don't see each other that much lately. Keep calm, don't get upset or emotional about this but state this just as a fact. If you two both are playing the "being busy" game than she might come out and say that it bothers her as well so you can talk about it.

4. This is a relationship, not a game. There is no such thing as "relationship game". Open and honest communication is key if you want to make it work.

Dont see any real issues here either. Im not exactly sure what your relationship is with this girl (how long have u been exclusive? are you exclusive? Are you f-ing her on the regular? ect.)

Let her keep chasing but you can be open and honest with her as well.. be a real person.. u dont have to keep "gaming" and playing hard to get if you 2 are hooking up a lot.

Also, what is your goal here? Are you trying to marry this girl? If not id keep playing the field a bit and improving your inner game. im not saying you have to go makeout with 20 other girls... but let her know on a weekend your going out with your boys... go flirt with other girls... no harm no foul...

GL
Duke