I decided to take the time to fix my insecurities, " inner- game", issues.

this relationship is LDR

Distance: 1 1/2 hour car drive

we met about two years ago..

i allowed my insecurities to lose my " alpha qualities" for example i love writing and would write her a love poem once a day because it is a passion of mine and wanted to express myself, but slowly.. turned to seeking validation through them. i have realized it and have made progress to change that belief system.


Conversation went via text message.

me: <Hb7> i need some time to really gather myself. i have been acting immature lately.. and should not take my insecurities out on you. it is me.. not you. if you still want to meet up after i take the time to really gather myself up.. then it would make for a lovely day. good night

Her: im totally lost what do you mean by acting immature??? okay well i shall let you gather your thoughts. good bye Sincerely <HB7>
* to note she ended it off with her full entire name

i was thinking about calling her when i get the opportunity to explain things more clearly with her.

i would love to know what you guys think my next move should be.. besides obviously focusing on myself and making myself more value which i am doing.

Thank you guys for your time. i sincerely appreciate the help and look forward to reading what you guys think. if there is any extra information needed, i will gladly supply it.

How about telling us what some of these immature actions were? And what caused them? Is she showing mixed signals? Is she showing signs that she misses you while you gather your thoughts?

these immature actions were allowing my insecurities to dictate my thoughts. for example quite recently, i showed a lot of interest to meet up and about 9 pm. could not receive a straight answer.

me: i would like to see you this week ms. and i work on friday so its either sunday or.. thursday if you want to be in England.. or some thing foreign country.. lol if you remember

*reference to the last time she came to visit me.

her: Lmao, Yeah I remember

Me: Unless.. you want to meet up half way and explore a city

Her: yeah d:

me: how about <so-on City>

*one hour later* her: where is that


this is what i mean by childish immature actions, because she was took an hour to respond; i would react in such a way. i usually call her to make a meet up but because of my "anytime minutes" i wanted to Text instead.

i believe the root stem of this being caused from being shipped out to basic soon. Because i was extremely anxious finding out my ship date was moved up a day, and just thinking about it being less than a month a way affected my night.

as for the mixed signals.. it has been the first day and still plan on calling her in the afternoon to explain things more clearly about my situation, so she doesn't have mixed thoughts other than what it really is for me

Thank you for your response, Wizzay

For my Progress, i have started reading this practical-attainment-of-inner-game-cont ... 67840.html

and journaling

I just read a post from another user here which contained a classic line "If you think and overanalyze everything your girl does/says you will go crazy!". Heed this advice, train your innergame. Next time she answers in a way that doesn't suite you, make it clear your not happy with her answer, but don't say it directly.

For example you could've texted "Looks like your to busy to answer,i'll make plans with someone else".
If that is to much for you, "Heh to busy to answer? maybe another time then".

She'll get the hint, either she steps up, or you start looking if this girl is actually still interested in seeing you.

I might be going over the top here, so just keep in your mind this word" Relax" dont get upset to much, and try to let her chase you(then she will ask to meet up, etc).

That is true. i need to remember that relationships are mutual and that if she is not going to be there for my huge life change (boot camp) then she does not deserve me as she is not willing to be there for me.

the suppose.. the best i can do is give her the opportunity to "Step up to the plate"

I gave her this opportunity by giving her one call no pick up, so i sent one text about my situation prior to reading this.

*to note this is one big message divided into individual messages to make it shorter.

me: <HB7>, please do not take this the wrong way. i love you and care for you a lot. i had sort of a anxiety attack because of the BIG life change that is causing me a lot of insecurities about myself. it is nothing about you, it is about me.

me: i am sorry for not giving you the opportunity to know how i was feeling when i realized i only have about 25 days left.. it really makes me want to spend as much time with you as possible.

me: Ultimately, i feel extremely scared for the life change and the anxiety is creating a lot of insecurities. i have started to journal my thoughts and negative emotions, so they do not come anywhere near you or even us.

me: I just need some time to get rid of this demon or at least talk about it. sometimes i forget that you are there for me, and as such it was stupid of me to keep it to myself. i am not alone because you are there for me (: or at least i still hope so.

Now i believe all i can do is see the result while still working on my inner-game. i do not want to follow up because i believe it will cause her to be distant. if she cares about helping me through this, then it will be her seeking interest in me.

this morning i was extremely anxious.. pressure in my chest, i tried running from my issue by cardio.. but after reading this, you really brought back that PUA mentality with a twist of a monogamy relationship attitude. i appreciate your objective advice.

It seems like you know what your problem is, and what the solution might be. But please stop sending texts like that, even if she loves you deeply, she doesn't like to read texts like that. You should be the man in the relationship and you should be able to show her that you can handle yourself, without saying it, or else how can she depend on you when she needs you? Fix your insecurities privately, without her knowing, you don't have to keep reminding her about them. Show her you are the strong man that can take care of business and she will love you for it.