Ive been dating a girl for a few months having sex everyday personalities cliicked very well. It went perfext from pick up to lay and out of the blue things went south. I started to act pretty aggresive trying to wim her back. (Texting too muxh being to clingy). I then broke up with her then the last couple weeks i toned it down xhanged my appearance and it started wotking ( she was having friends text me when i wouldnt respond just to see if i would respond to them when she knew she was going to see me she dolled up) until i saw her. I told her how much i want to be with her and apologized and it freaked her out big time. I knew i should have kept on playing with her but i screwed up. What do i do from here and can it be saved? The last conversation was awkward immediately after i freaked and she probably wont text or call first. I also see her and her roomate frequently and will be forced to see her the next few weeks and months.

There’s no easy way to fix relationships after they are over. In her mind, consciously or subconsciously, you aren't "the one" for her anymore. At least, not as you are right now. Really the only way to turn this around is for you to leave (in an emotional and physical sense) and come back after you’ve heightened your value. Unfortunately, you tried this once and failed, so now it's going to take a much longer period of time.

First, you need to immediately stop the emotional online updates. Live in the moment. Don’t dwell on yesterday. Quickly work through your stages of grief, privately, if you must. On the outside, you need to project confidence that you will be dating hot girls in no time. After all, you are a high value guy, right? Fake it until you make it. In the meantime, there are things you can do to very quickly raise your value. 1) Go to the gym 2) Work on developing as much of a social circle / life as you can (yeah, I know it’s not easy, but do your best), 3) go on dates, hit on girls, etc. 4) use facebook to document all your new social activities (post lots of pictures, especially with cute girls).

In the meantime, don’t contact your ex. If she contacts you, then make a point to be polite and friendly, but keep her at arm’s length (for now). Sub-communicate that you are a happy person with a busy social life and a lot of options (i.e. don’t get overly emotional or needy or talk about your problems when you talk to her).

Yes, it seems a bit manipulative.. but it’s no more manipulative than makeup. Guys are attracted to physical qualities, which is why make-up works. Girls, on the other hand, are attracted to guys who display dominant/leadership qualities and add-value in social situations.

After you’ve let some time pass and you’ve developed a good social circle, that’s the time to act. Call her up and invite her to something really fun (ideally something you were going to do anyway). Make sure it involves your social circle. If she declines, wait a few weeks and try again. When she accepts, go out, flirt a lot in a playful way, and have a really good time. Completely ignore the fact that she has a boyfriend (if she has one by then): don’t bring him up and don’t acknowledge her comments if she mentions him. Do not talk about the past or the break-up. Keep it light and fun.

This is the roadmap to getting a girl back after she’s dumped you. It’s not easy, but it IS effective. I can draw you the map, but you have to be the one to follow it. Most guys don’t. Guys have too many emotions wrapped up in their decision making after a break-up to approach the issue rationally. Furthermore, Disney/Chic-flicks have brainwashed most guys into believing that the best way to handle the situation is to pour their feelings out, write letters, send ridiculous gifts, etc. That would be a big mistake.

Lastly, as of right now you probably have oneitus. Oneitus is like heroin addiction. All you want to do is get more heroin and we are telling you that you need to just stop using it. However, heroin addicts never take that advice. So then we say, "try these other drugs that aren't heroin.. because it's better than doing heroin." (i.e. go fuck 10 other women). Sometimes this work. The best advice is to distance yourself, mentally, from the object of your oneitus for awhile until the effect lessens. People with addictions do really stupid and self-destructive things. Hopefully we can help you avoid doing any more of that (i.e. being needy and overly emotional).

I attempted to write that concisely as possible. Hopefully I touched on all the important stuff.

Now, go watch the first season of Californication. It's good for developing the proper frame of mind.

Thanks wolf im going to hop right on that. Perfect timing too im dog sitting for two weeks at a friends house on the water. Im going to use that time to get more active (fishing boating and the dog park) watch californacation and be sure to utilize the more social environment. She doesnt have facebook to see pictures but she does creep on her roomates. I also have a friend who is willing to help me with martial arts and training. Do this sound like a good game plan? (Extending more then the two weeks)