Hello all,

My woman states that she feels second best compared to every other girl. I have already told her a number of reassuring things, which have had no affect. I then just told her that it's her no one else can deal with her self esteem issues but herself.

I must say thought that I am not an innocent party in this and some of her problems are my fault.

She tells me just to keep reasuring her all the time but i'm not sure about that. It just feels like I am rewarding poor behaviour.

What can I do ?

in what ways? did you cheat on her? did you win her at the jealousy game? do you constantly tease her about hooking up with other chicks?

_________________
nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Why are you to blame?
Through experience I have learned that women in general are very jealous or other women. They are critical on themselves. Perhaps she has a confidence issue. What Only advice I can give you is to tell her the story.
The story of the teenage boy that got picked on at school because he was different. The boy tried to change to meet with what other people thought he should be like. After spending so much energy trying to change only to be rejected, he realized that he is WHO HE IS. He can't change it for others. Only for himself. Haters gonna hate. Tell her that confidence comes from that realization. She should accept who she is.

[quote="BARoN1989"]

She tells me just to keep reasuring her all the time but i'm not sure about that. It just feels like I am rewarding poor behaviour.
/quote]

I think you have nailed here. Dont keep reassuring always just give her genuine compliments it means more trust me.

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

Sounds to me like your girlfriend is feeling insecure. there are two things you should do here.

1# tell her she is the number one women in your life and she has no reason to worry. but that she needs to stop telling you she feel second best and implying that YOU are at fault for her feeling that way, that is something she needs to deal with.

2# You perhaps need to make an effort to do something really special for you gf to make her feel good about her self, if she is a good gf then you should let her know, let her know how much you care and appreciate her.

See its not weak or "beta" to tell a girl she is special or do nice things for her, its when you do them to often, or at the wrong times that is becomes a problem. If your gf is treating you well, being a good gf, and shows high interest level then its time to reward her with something big! something that will blow her away and she wont forget!, but when she is acting selfish and distant then its time for you to back off.