everything has changed



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 Post subject: everything has changed
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 12:19 am 
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Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2010 5:09 am
Posts: 287
I've been with this girl only four months, but have been seeing her for a year, honestly it feels like much longer than 4 months though, I was sleeping with her within 2 months and we was only having sex with each other and no one else. She liked me a lot from the start but I didn't start liking her until about 7 months down the line. 2 months ago she told me she loved me, the relationship was at its peak then and everything was real good. Roughly a month later I told her I loved her and she cried from happiness because she never expected because of my mentality.

Roughly a month ago I had several exams I needed to do, which were very important. So around this time we barely spoke and I finished them 2 weeks ago. Ever since then, because we didn't communicate much, a lot of things have changed and were currently not together.

She always wanted me to speak to her a lot, and we spoke most days seeing each other a few times a week, mainly weekends. When the exams were happening it all changed, I saw her maybe once a week for half a day, and spoke to her through the phone every other day although she couldn't handle ti, she hated it. While this happened she got mentally stronger and stopped herself from getting upset, but this has now carried on to after the exams and its gone down hill since the exams have finished, instead of showing she's upset when she argues with me she shows anger instead, and turns bitchy a lot. Lately now were kind of not together she compared our relationship to others a lot which I hate, I've always told her I'm not like anyone else and she knows that but still does it.

Her last relationship she was very dominant in, her ex was basically a serious AFC, she could get what she wanted and told me all this at the start. The other day she phoned him and said sorry for how she treated him, purely because I was dominant in this relationship like she was with him and abused her power, she hated when she got upset from how I treated her at the start and regretted how she cheated her ex. they split up about a year and half ago, orignally she started seeing me to get over him, but it ended up she really liked me and we got together. I was a bit weirded out about this when she told me she phoned him and said this. I dunno what to make out of it.

I love her deep down and she does too, but she's relying on me to put in the effort because she feels I don't ever since the exams. Ever since the exams though because she put pressure on me and become upset I feel kind of reluctant to do so for some reason. Before she used to put in so much effort and didn't care how I feel because she wanted me to like her. But now she says she's scared to get hurt and that I might not care if she goes all out and shows me how much she wants it. I want it to go to how it was before but I have no idea if it will because I hate how the relationship is right now, arguing over nothing and everything getting out of control.

EDIT: another thing, we used to have sex all the while, most times a week, but now sometimes she would tell me she wouldn't want it for some reason. Sewxitself was never the same or as good as before. She used to be always horny and want sex all the while.

I'm half asleep right now writing this so it might not be explained to well or even make sense in some parts

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I do know 1 thing though, bitches they come they go


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 2:23 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2012 7:44 am
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She cheated on her ex she will cheat on you.

+ your signature.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 4:53 am 
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did he say she cheated on her ex? I'm tired too reading this.

Anyway I'm not the best at relationships just pu. But instead of being dominant vs afc. Think, fun vs. argument or reactive vs non reactive.

Let her go through her roller coaster of emotions. It's going to happen right, you can't control how she thinks, but you can choose how you react to it.

If you aren't reacting emotionally from her actions then it doesn't matter how you react verbally.

If she is being a bitch that is her issue not yours.

Idk it can be hard in a relationship because they expect the little "talks" or answers to questions.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 5:48 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 3:59 pm
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just because she cheated on her ex it doesn't always mean she will cheat on you but i'd be very reluctant to get too many feelings for a long time for a girl that had, i'd still bang her brains out everytime i saw her but be prepared for it to end at any time and keep a couple of girls on the backburner


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 6:30 am 
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No she never cheated on her ex, she split up with him before she even knew me. Its just that she thenused me as a rebound I guess after they split up to get over him but ended up liking me.

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I do know 1 thing though, bitches they come they go


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:12 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 6:09 am
Posts: 426
Location: U.S
I think you should just have a clear and direct conversation about your relationship. I think it is important for every relationship to occasionally evaluate how things are working out from digging into the past to looking into the promising future in order to make sure everyone's needs and wants are met or at the very least coming to an agreement that it is not working out. Right now she is running high on emotions and its causing you to go into shutdown mode (at least from what I have gathered) Both of you just need to sit down and have a one-on-one conversation based on the specific problems at hand. Also, set down your boundaries...school is obviously important and so she needs to understand, support you, and respect your need for space during critical times ie. finals. Make it a point that you cant continue the relationship if she cannot support you. Another thing would be to ask her what she needs from you (since she mentioned something about you not putting in any effort). If whatever she is asking is placing too much of a demand on you make sure you put down your foot.

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Not a PUA just a girl offering my opinions/advice


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