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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:27 pm 
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I've been with my gf for about 8 months now. Everything thus far has been really cool, no fights and what have you.


On Saturday evening it was pretty stuffy in the club we were at so she wanted to put her jacket somewhere safe. No jacket closet so she stuck it at the dj booth.

Anyway she comes back and says the DJ was sorta being a creeper over it.

Later on I step out for a smoke with a buddy and when I come back in DJ guy is speaking to her, this soon breaks off when I enter the area but I felt MAJORLY pissed off with him.


-How do you handle this kind of situation? Without coming across needy/jelous


Anyway the next day we're at my place and she's on her facebook and gestures to me to look at the screen, the same creepy DJ guy has messeged her on facebook asking how her night was.


She said it was pretty creepy as theyre not even friends on facebook. I just laughed and said yeah thats pretty weird to even do that without properly knowing someone.


Fast forward to yesterday....after saying this was creepy she is now friends with him on facebook. She has like 700 friends so its not as though she keeps it a personal thing but I am MEGA pissed off that she accepted it after saying he was creepy?


So basically.... what do I do? Do I call her on it? Or am I overreacting?


Should probably mention here that we love each other and shes actually said she's never been happier/think we'll get married etc.... things that I dont think are fickle because she says them all the time drunk and sober.


Finally I had an issue a while back that we werent 'official' facebook relationship status... I kind of wonder if sharks like this would back the fuck off if we were?




Thanks


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:30 pm 
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If you two love each other and she has over 700 friends on FB what difference does it make if she removes him, with the exception it makes you feel better. I would talk to her about it. Explain to her this guy gives you a bad feeling, and you'd like her to unfriend him and not speak to him again. This way you can do it as a "protector" vibe instead of jealousy. :)

This is not a big deal, she barely knows him, she loves you, it'll make you happy, she'll do it. :D

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:32 pm 
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You ARE overreacting! IGNORE it!...just let it go, maybe friend a couple of hotties on your own Facebook if it makes you feel better lol

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:34 pm 
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It is what I'd prefer to happen (the un-friending). At the same time I wouldnt want this douche to get the idea that I feel threatened; in fact it could even make him sense some sorta opening and persist?


I'm annoyed she accepted at all to be honest. But girls dont ever see it this way, I could easily be made out to be paranoid/jelous or whatever.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:35 pm 
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You ARE overreacting! IGNORE it!...just let it go, maybe friend a couple of hotties on your own Facebook if it makes you feel better lol

Seems to be conflicting advice on this so far!


Why am I overreacting in your opinion? I just dont understand why she would make a joke of this dude, not reply back to his messege THEN accept his friend request...


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:11 pm 
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I don't think its conflicting at all, it just isn't that big of deal. Girls do however seem to have a need to bolster their friend numbers on facebook- no matter if they like them or not.

As J said
Quote:
If you two love each other and she has over 700 friends on FB what difference does it make if she removes him

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:22 pm 
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whatever you do dont make your girlfriend think you are threatened by this guy, all that will do is lower your value and raise his.

I'd just keep an eye on the situation, it'll probably go away by itself but if it doesn't you need to talk to her, if that doesn't stop it you need to get rid.

I repeat do not tell your girlfriend what you just have us, act like you dont give a shit about this guy because he's a downgrade to you anyway


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:22 pm 
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I don't think its conflicting at all, it just isn't that big of deal. Girls do however seem to have a need to bolster their friend numbers on facebook- no matter if they like them or not.

As J said
Quote:
If you two love each other and she has over 700 friends on FB what difference does it make if she removes him
This is true. I'll level with yall; I read some fucking A stuff by Carlos Xuma just before me and her hit it off. I strongly think it helped me to seal the deal.


I've played stuff well so far but also naturally. I think because things are getting serious and we're in love, I'm starting to get a little more scared of things falling apart.

Maybe I need to revisit some pua material such as the stuff I read re: relationships.


I see you guys' point though - if I make a big deal of this I will probably do it forever more regarding any potential threats?


I am kinda tempted to snoop and see if he tries to game her over FB. I trust her but I am just pissed off that she accepted this dude.


If a dude got hit on by a girl in a club then on facebook...a girl would be pissed off if he accepted a friend request is all.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:24 pm 
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whatever you do dont make your girlfriend think you are threatened by this guy, all that will do is lower your value and raise his.

I'd just keep an eye on the situation, it'll probably go away by itself but if it doesn't you need to talk to her, if that doesn't stop it you need to get rid.

I repeat do not tell your girlfriend what you just have us, act like you dont give a shit about this guy because he's a downgrade to you anyway

Do you mind defining what you mean by 'keeping an eye on the situation' ?

Thanks


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:27 pm 
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Also - I had an issue about 3 weeks into our relationship regarding our status on FB. She said at the time that she didnt like to put it on there because the comments/drama if things dont work out from either side's friends gets ridiculous.


I accepted this at the time even if it seemed a little pessimistic.

Fast forward 8 months and were in love. It seems a little silly to not have it on there.

Would something like that make any difference to dudes trying to shark her?


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:29 pm 
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my girlfriend still gets text from a few guys, aslong as its just as friends then theres no problem, if it gets anymore then that then she goes, i wont even give her the 'me or him' choice because that makes it look like he's better then me i'd just get rid of her


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:31 pm 
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Quote:
Also - I had an issue about 3 weeks into our relationship regarding our status on FB. She said at the time that she didnt like to put it on there because the comments/drama if things dont work out from either side's friends gets ridiculous.


I accepted this at the time even if it seemed a little pessimistic.

Fast forward 8 months and were in love. It seems a little silly to not have it on there.

Would something like that make any difference to dudes trying to shark her?
They might think she's single? probably not but maybe, a previous girlfriend once gave me the same line which only got sorted out when i threatened to dump her for a different reason, she then couldn't wait to put it on


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:38 pm 
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my girlfriend still gets text from a few guys, aslong as its just as friends then theres no problem, if it gets anymore then that then she goes, i wont even give her the 'me or him' choice because that makes it look like he's better then me i'd just get rid of her

Yeah my GF has a few male friends, one of whom is her ex. But he never texts her but they get on well. To be honest I dont give a shit, he's an ex for a reason and she says she's never been happier than she is with me.

Like you say I would do exactly the same if it was more than being friendly.

But with some random lad adding her I am just pissed off, I think she should have her guard up and ignore the friend request.


I realize now, it would make me look beta if I complain about him adding her.


I'm gonna wait and see if she mentions it, and keep an eye on things.


The question is, how do I monitor things if theyre said privately on facebook!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:42 pm 
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If you think you need to "monitor" her then you should go ahead and break up with her because you have already lost her and don't even know it yet!

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:43 pm 
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if shes upto something she'll slip up at some point they always do, if she's not upto anything he'll go away in a short while


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