Met this cute girl on POF 6 weeks ago, we've been dating and hanging out. She's conservative and pretty religious (same religion I am) so it took a while but we recently started kissing. She texts me everday and we flirt a lot over text but I recently saw her tonight and she looked a little troubled and she opened up to me about how she felt. She said she got a text from this guy she was talking to months ago and it brought up old feelings ect but continued to say that she could never date him and he's ugly but really funny and stuff ect. She thinks I'm really hot.

The kicker is she proceeded to say she's just not sure of her feelings and she likes me but not completely sure and doesn't want to be boyfriend and girlfriend yet ect.. I told her I felt the same and asked her what kinda guys she's into (bad boys). She's called me an ass over texts though and I've used lots of text game.

But here's the thing, naturally I'm more quiet and reserved but I'm pretty confident and have a deep voice. I can't help who I am. How can I recover this? I've played physical game on her and kissed closed but I guess she hasn't seen my cocky side if I even have one.

What should I do?

Personally, I would see this as a shit test.

And not caring is the solution to that. "If he makes you feel good " Glorifying the guy, gives you higher value (not afraid of him).

The fact is, she wouldn't date him, why even mention that to you? (that's why it comes off as a shit test)

You are giving it your best. Keep on doing that, and don't get affected by these things, and i'm pretty sure you'll be fine.

Also, you are not in a relationship, you have no obligations to her. Be unavailable for a couple days. See how she reacts... (you testing her )

Thanks P1nkstar,

I think what's happening is that I was really funny and cocky with her over texts but I guess in person I was not able to pull it off as strongly and naturally as I appeared is what happened. What I ended up doing was becoming more AFC and more of myself as we continued to see each other. I became more comfortable by always responded to her texts, always texting her back and I need to stop doing that. I just felt we were in that zone where I could be more myself because she was constantly texting me and flirting 6 weeks later I guess I need to game until we are bf and gf.

I don't mean for a long post but this is a complicated situation and I need advice
Here's my story in more detail if this helps:

I did do a kiss close with her 2 nights ago and we made out for the first time. She just came onto me after hours of talking with each other and then she had to leave to go to a party. She said she would miss me and have a hard time letting me go. I wasn't invited to the party by her so I went home and watched a move (my DLV). She kept texting me at the party that she smells like me and she likes it ect. That was the high point. But then she got tipsy and the texts stop.

Enter Last night, she confessed how she met up with a guy that she hit it off with last year and that's why she stopped texting me. Nothing happened with him other than him touching her shoulder and he didn't seem that interested in her she described. She let me read her texts for so odd reason because she felt guilty. I guess she had feelings with him from meeting him sometime last year and at the time he wanted a one night stand and she didn't (she's a virgin) and he slept on the couch and left before she woke up and she was really hurt. She says he's really ugly though.

That brought up the conversation of her feelings and she described she falls for bad boys (like most girls do) and he's really funny (could be another PUA) but he's really ugly. She mentioned she thought I was really hot and her friends called me Tom Brady ect. She was describing her feelings and how she is "unsure" and this is all new to her I told her I felt the same. She mentioned that meeting me online she felt like she was "forced to like me" and "being unsure" she does like me 100% . But told me there definitely is something there and she's just new at dating (she only had one bf years ago)

The conversation quickly changed to fun things and outings and I told her all the fun things I have done in my life and would love to do (trying to DHV) We talked about skiing for instnace and she talked about how she fell off the ski lift and I teased her for that and I asked her about other fun things she likes to do and she said she doesn't have any so I called her boring to which she admitted (tried to DLV her) We cooked food and then left. Before she left she hugged me for like 5 minutes and we made out again and that was that. Haven't talked since. It's only been a day though. Where do I go from here? I was just going to take a break since I'll be studying for exams anyway.

As of now she hasn't texted me today (like she usually does) so I think she's seriously thinking about where this is going and I'm preparing to be LJBF. However I am not going to respond to her texts even if she does text me for a few days and see if that helps. I'm going to take a break from her.

Is that how I should go about it?

Chazman,

Seems like you have an honest, good girl there. (Letting you read her txts, not many would do that)

I wouldn't be preparing for the friend-zone, have you ever seen friends make out? You are ranked as potential lover in her head.

I also wouldn't worry about the constant txting. It takes the tension away. Tension is good. It's normal for her not to txt on a party, she should be having fun, not constantly making sure you feel good.

Remember, people fall in love in the periods they are not together. (when they are thinking about eachother)

from your text i get the feeling she's into you, but she's scared for being hurt (virgin).

You are doing good in my opinion, if i could give you an advice it would be don't make everything too obvious (always texting her in the morning, same time in the evning) Maybe call her?

or one day send her 7 txts, the next day 1, so that she doesn't get a grip on you.

Also, she is unsure about how it must go... face it, you must lead as the man, you must lead the relationship and what way it is going. That's your task.

hope my opinion was worth something

Thanks P1nkstar that advice really helps and its reassuring. Your right, I even admitted one of my faults with her is being indecisive (because she is too). I need to take charge more. I initiated last nights meeting though and she hasn't initiated meeting up recently. Another thing she told me last night that I just recalled:
She says she feels forced to like me since we met on a dating website and she wishes we had mutual friends and met that way. She was not sure if things would go this way if it happened like that ect. I guess she's just having doubts and I told her I understand but things did not happen like that and things are what they are now. I can't go back in time.


One of my worries now is that she may continue texting this guy and that's fine, I wont' even mention it if she does since it's AFC too and we are not in a relationship. That's her choice. I don't text her at the same time everyday and never really have, she would always be the one who would text me out of the blue and the conversation would carry the rest of the day. I guess I need to drop the conversation more and keep her guessing. That hasn't happened today (a first) and I feel it's because of last night. I won't text her for a few days. I just have oneitis because I really like her.

Right now my PUA hunch is to just leave things where they be, do other stuff for a few days and see what happens from there? If she texts maybe don't respond for a day or two? Or I guess I should just drop it and leave it to her or ask her out to something next weekend and move on if not?

Texting her nothing for a couple days wouldn't be good. Atleast txt her something. You should do some push-pull to bring tension, that when you two meet, the tension can explode. Be less available is good, but not unavailable, cause she might think you don't wnat her anymore and wander off.

can't really assist you in what to say and when to say it, feel the situation, but you are doing good!

cheers

I was the last one to text her though. As of now I still haven't heard from her but it's only been a day. My PUA gut is saying to freeze out for a few days since we haven't gone more than a day or two without talking in a very long time. If that doesn't work then I guess she really lost interest that fast.

It's just hard to believe this. I felt like I had her 2 nights ago when we first kissed closed (we were cuddling and she just kissed me and we made out). I think this random dude really messed with her head and her feelings towards me.

Trust your gut-feeling

ok well good news she did send a "hey how are you" text a few hours ago so now I know it can be salvageable. I didn't totally blow it. For now I'm gonna let it cook. I figure maybe send something tomorrow night? I do have an exam to study for so it's a legit excuse I guess. I just know it would be AFC to respond right back after waiting most of the week for her.

My only concern though is if my lack of response would be too big of an IOD to her that she gives up and moves on but I think that would only be if I ignored her for days. But I'll put my trust in PUA theory in that the longer I wait the more she'll think about it and miss me..hopefully and up my value more than that other guy if she is texting him.