Ok, long story short is gf broke up with me about 2 and half weeks ago, it was a pretty mellow break up, basicly she said she didn't have the same feelings anymore and wanted to end it, we talked a little and i said ok then ill drop you home, we spoke the day after and then i started reading into "get your ex back" topics, i started the no contact rule,


Now my sister still talks to her and she asked what her feelings were and she said she didn't know, anyway after about 8 days no contact she sent me a text asking how i was and i played it off all happy and cheerful saying yeah i've been great hanging with mates ect ect, spoke a little and i suggested we go to the mall to look for a present and she can help me pick something out, she agreed. except the night before she sent me a message saying how she doesn't think she is ready to be hanging out, i casually just said yeah thats cool and changed topic..


Now i just want some opinions on what i should do now? she initicated contact with me so she wanted to see how i was but she doesn't want to hang out just yet..

Should i just give it more time or just move on? or .....?

cheers.

That's not no contact what you are doing there...

you are inviting her on a "date". That's where you went wrong, in my opinion.

You shouldn't be available for ex-gf's. I would have seriously doubted even answering the text.

What I would do in your situation.

I would start working on myself. I would go out and have loads of fun, do things you didn't do with her.

And if you want her to notice that, do it in a subtle way (facebook,..) not by telling her, that's too obvious.

Making sure she notices that other girls fancy you is, obviously, perfect.

Sorry i forgot to add, i told her that it will be only as friends.. i've been having lots of fun, and going to the gym and going out nearly every weekend..

From a female's perspective, I would say just avoid ALL contact with her. It will help you to move on easier. Remember, SHE is the one who broke up with you, so if you act like you're moving on, she will probably want you back, but only because you will be unavailable and we females always want what we can't have. Have some respect for yourself and move on - she doesn't want you anymore, so find someone who does.

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....Thought you might like a girl's opinion....

Yeahe your probably right, probably asked way to soon to hang out

What are the thoughts on taking back a girl that dumps you? Is this ever a good idea?

Break ups are tough but move on man , there like millions of hot chicks who are available so....

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“The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11 months old.”-Barney Stinson

If she truly had no feelings for you, she would be indifferent even to your existence. The fact that she said "I'm not ready to go to the mall with you" means there are at least remnants of attraction in your relationship, slightly exasperated by your recent no-contact.

I would

(a) Build competitive anxiety. Nothing brings back love like jealousy
(b) Work on yourself. Gym + work
(c) Be less available. You can't be talking on the phone with her if you want to see progress. If she does not get a chance to MISS YOU, it makes it easier for her to rationalize the break up.

As for taking a girl back that dumps you, hard to say. It's better to pursue a new relationship than waste your energy in one with too much baggage but judging from the way you described your relationship and the language of your posts - I suspect that she broke up with you out of real disinterest, and your game just wasn't tight enough. That means there isn't too much negative emotional baggage and as long as you sack up and slap her with your dick a couple of times, you'll be ok.

And you shouldn't be the one to ask her to hang out. You should go no-contact, occasionally contact her, drop hints of being over her / seeing someone else, let her know the break-up isn't phasing you, and then let her try and pull you back. The more a girl thinks that she has broken you - the less attracted she is to you, and the more easily her hamster can justify the break up. You must make her wonder, "does he even miss me? Why doesn't he text me? Is he already into someone else?"

Remember that if you DO see progress in her interest level; DO NOT take it as a cue to slack off. A girl can fall out of love just as easily as she can fall in love.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

It depends on the reasons why you guys broke up in the first place. At the risk of sounding harsh, in your instance, I would say no. Only because it seems like she dumped you because her feelings for you are not as strong as they should be. And, this will not change, my friend.

I broke up with my ex because I felt that our relationship was no longer equal - he seemed to be more in love with me than I was with him. At one stage, I had thought this man was my soulmate, but as we grew apart, I realised that I could not give him the love he needed and deserved from me. And I could not reciprocate the same level of love he gave me.

Whereas, my current boyfriend and I are just about to break up but only because he is moving away for a few months and neither of us believe in long distance relationships. I would get back together with him when we are physically re-united in a heartbeat and I believe he feels the same way. But, only time will tell.

There is a girl out there who is more suited to you, so don't keep chasing this girl who can't give you what you want or need - you will drive yourself crazy!

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....Thought you might like a girl's opinion....

But i had gone no contact and she contacted me first after abuot a week?

That's his point.. since you didn't become needy and chase her, now she is wondering if she made the right decision. She's thinking, maybe he has more value than I originally thought. If she thinks you are already over her and dating other girls, then her jealousy is going to kick in and she will want to sleep with you again.

So, follow Hakuna's advice.. go to the gym, be less available and start dating other girls. If you want to hook up with her again, then wait a month, tell her that you're totally okay hanging "just as friends" and then invite her to a social event that's really fun. Act like it's totally not a big deal. She will see you as high value again and want to jump your bones.

Field tested.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Thanks for that wolf