Hi Guys.

I have been with my girl for about a year. We have great sex but I am always the one to initiate it for her it seems like a chore. The only time I really see her horny is when she is drinking.

When I push too much she says I give her anxiety and she violently revolts against any further advances on my part despite how playful they are in nature.

It can be very discouraging and sad on my part. I feel unattractive to her and not desirable. It seems so natural to me to want to be affectionate towards her. However the most affection I see from her is when she is drinking or cuddling in bed. We do not passionately kiss at all.

So I am thinking maybe she doesn't feel sexy inside. Maybe she is insecure about herself. I don't know how this is possible because she is an HB11.

Can some of the pros out there enlighten us on how to make our girls feel sexy.
She says I am completing her however it does not seem that way.

How do we continue to make them feel sexy and confident after being with them for a year.


Thank you

sounds like she is a selfish person

good luck with that

i would make sure that she knows a few things:

- you are a sexual being with needs that must be met
- you are un-apologetic about that fact
- in fact, you are "proud" of that fact
- and finally, other women would be willing to suck your willy at any given time

if she still doesn't shape up...

she's a lesbian

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

hmmmm

Went through this myself, know exactly what u mean. Having thought about it alot, Im affraid the conclusion Ive come to is that it wasnt about her feeling sexy at all. It was about the love between us fading. Our (blokes) sexual needs are governed by very simple things eg how long ago we last did it. Theirs are determined by the level of connection and intimacy. My theory is that the alcohol allows her to put this need aside and just let go in the moment (they all want sex remember-just under the right conditions), whereas sober she has more things on her mind. Im sorry to say it bro but thats how I read your situation. Dont worry about making her feeling sexy, shes a HB11 and knows she is-that will come to her no matter what u do. Instead, take some time out on your own and-all wussiness aside-come up with some new ways to make her feel intimate with you and loved. She could have any bloke right, so whats so special about you? You need to demonstrate that.

As a final point...
REMEMBER: acts of love and kindness are 100% as and when YOU choose. If she says 'I want you to buy me some flowers', give her the business card of a florist and tell her to go get them herself... and then spring some on her a month later. Do not bow to her demands for dinner, movies, flowers, etc.

And as a final final point... heres a trick, my mate told me about this but Ive never actually tried it.
When you do something extra special and romantic, and then you get home and into bed DONT initiate sex. Hold/hug her and kiss her a little but dont take it further. She will start to see you as being genuinely loving and not as means to get her panties off. Also, she MAY start to theorise that you are seeing someone else, which is perfect. You want her to be less than 100% secure. She may (I say MAY) then attempt to get your attention with what you both want-a deep thrust.

I sure have made my share of fuck ups in this area over the years. Keen to hear what the other players think about what I have just said.

PS Mack: you're way off the mark, it has nothing to do with selfishness at all. She wants to feel something in the relationship, which she is not currently.