I agree on your view point, and I think u were just seeing me go through emotional fluctuations because the breakup happened not so long ago. The last texts I told her I wouldn't had sent had I not decided to let it go. I think that was much more powerful than playing to keep her.

Yeah, break ups are always difficult. They seem to bring out the insecurities and neediness in all of us. If it didn't it would probably just be because we didn't actually care.

Well I've kept up with soft NC even while she sometimes comments on my INstagram pics talking to my friends about how much she misses them (never mentioning me). I don't put much mind to it but I definitely Like to examine the behavior and see what's behind them. I basically feel like she wants to stay in touch with me just to soften the impact of the breakup, or just because she misses me and wants to reassure herself that I'm always there. I haven't spoken to her until the following-

On Saturday she texted me after seeing my Instagram picture of a car crash I was in,
it read "are you ok?" At 7:09am.

I then replied hours later with "yea" at 12:07pm

She then asked "what happened?" At 12:07pm

I didn't reply and she ended up calling me at around 2pm I just let it ring. I was honestly real busy and she called me during work hours. However out of courtesy I responded with ok to let her know I'm fine but I don't think she needs to know anything else.

I also didn't feel like talking to her, if she calls again then maybe ill pick up. I don't think she deserves to know all about my life, she lost that priveledge lol. Think I'm being too harsh? I havent talked to her since then. I'm keeping u guys updated on the whole ordeal, who knows maybe it'll be useful information. I care for the girl but I've also been sarging alot lately which really did mellow my emotions towards her. The game is the shit! Why did I get In a relationship again? Haha

Your responses to her will probably end up generating attraction. That's not your problem. Yeah, just keep on freezing her out and move on. Unless you value her input and insight into your life better to close that chapter and not open it again.

Hey fellas I want to update you on everything. So I have come to a state of mind where I "moved on" and I am dating and having fun again. But I decided that I want to keep my ex in my life and if things work out in the future then we will be good because our relationship was an awesome one to begin with. If not then w/e she can still be around. Now on to my progress.

So I kept up NC until last week, where I called her on monday and set up a casual lunch. I went on It yesterday. It went well but she did bring up topics like, "Did you cheat on me?", "are you dating?". I pretty much sarcastically answered and when she pushed harder I just answered the first one, "I never cheated and never would had" then I told her that these are not good topics and we should just focus on fun. she had a little resistance but then we went on to casual talk.

I ended it after an hour, and then went to see some other girl after, hehe. But what surprised me was that I was just in the mindset of seeing my ex as a friend and keeping things open for communication in the future.... However I found myself missing her again and it felt like i was with her but not really. It felt confusing.

However I didnt let it show, I kept my kool and was indifferent to a lot of stuff. But I cant help but wonder if she felt that too.to elaborate more, she did mention that she went on a couple of dates with her ex,the one before me, but nothing happened. From what she said was that her love for me was purely fun and that she feels old and wants more of a provider role (this was just her talking about what she is looking for now). I can be all sorts of a provider but I told her that I feel like she's rushing things and Im just enjoying the process of becoming better and only after sometime will I feel like settling (just started my career, man!). These werent tactics, I was just being real with her and then I would switch topics again to something casual and fun. It did feel sort of like shit tests but I didnt react as much. But come to think of it, I did have one slip up where she mentioned dating her ex and I said "Idk how I should feel about that" and then she responded with "Why? we are broken up" then I recovered with "Dude, Im just joking, it doesnt matter. You know I'm always joking". She also didnt laugh as much as usual but I kept it going, un-phased by her (just mental note). Overall it was ok and maybe categorized under "better than normal".

So today I was missing the shit out of her earlier then I came back to realizing she's missing out, damn you chode gods! Guys have any guess on how she felt? But since I felt this way im wondering if its only today or if I should give it some more time before seeing her again (I thought I was ready). I am open to having her back but Im open to just continuing on my path as well.

P.S. This is also an experiment to see what happens, so learn from my mistakes and learn from my triumphs.

It's obvious you guys want to hear some more on the subject so here we go.

During the previous lunch that i mentioned I maintained myself calm, cool, and collected. But internally I missed her too damn much and by the end I knew I wasn't ready to see her again. So after that I decided to stay away NC for another month again. She texted me a week later, giving me her new number and I never replied.

Now about two weeks after, without contacting her, there was this party event at my school where I showed up to late because I was seeing some HB before hand. My ex, surprisingly, attended the event as well. When I got there I saw her, hugged her, and just went on to say hi to everyone else. It was an awesome time and I was just dancing with everyone else pretty much not giving her attention. I then caught her looking at me while i was dancing with some girl but as soon as I looked her way she quickly turned away in a "ooo damn he caught me looking" fashion. To make an even bigger point on it, my friends later told me that she kept asking about me and my where a bouts before I got there.

So that was a week ago and my friends all think we are going to get back together but I idk. w/e happens as long as if I feel like it, id rather GFTOW and then come back to this, months from now. I'm really enjoying the single life but another part of me still misses her sometimes. But my emotions don't control my thoughts or actions. She hasn't really contacted me either this whole time (except for that first text) although its obvious she misses me and has a little bit of jealousy going on but I have my graduation walk coming up this Saturday and I know I'm going to see her so I'm just going to be myself- friendly, boss, and indifferent -again no game plan, just natural .

My fault for the typos and whatnot but your gonna have to deal with it because my boss is lingering around haha.

I don't think you should chase her. What you did was wrong (I'm not preaching. We've all done worse), and she has a right to be angry. You should offer a sincere (but not a soppy) apology and tell her that if you two get back together, this will never happen again, and that you are still interested in an exclusive relationship with her, and if she decides to forgive you to let you know. Then cut contact and give her the time she needs to figure out what she wants and can/can't forgive. If you turn in to a blubbering mess and try to convince her it will only drive her further away. If you act cold and indifferent you'll just validate what she's already thinking (that you're not husband material). Be the man, admit to your mistakes, and show that you're prepared to deal with the consequences.

Edit: I didn't read the updates, my post is irrelevant now.

No worries, all inputs are always appreciated