100% agreed, I've had similar experiences

Solteris, your thoughts are well-taken and I pretty much agree with you. Ive had girlfriends who fit the bill you describe perfectly and they did end in doom and gloom.

I am just not entirely sure this particular girl fits that bill perfectly. I guess what I need to determine, as you said, are if my complaints and her correction of her behavior is just a temporary fix or a permanent one. I hold alot of power in the relationship and I know this girl would do almost anything for me right now. But is that superficial or something I can count on? I dont know for certain.

The point that "You cant change people" is a good one and one which I struggle with. I have even voiced this with her when we have arguements and used it as means to justify ending the relationship (We have had about 4 serious arguements and I always voice them as dealbreakers to her, in order, to enforce the heaviest punishment possible). I think you are right in your nuanced thoughts around this. Afterall, we all know guys who date girls who might be percieved as "out of their league" and who completely transform only to please some girl they are dating and vice versa. Are these shifts permanent? Its very difficult to tell. Like you, Id rather bet on someone who does not need to be changed. So you have kind of nailed-it-on-the-head in terms of my struggle with this gf.

The thing is: I cant say my girl really fits the party-flirty bad girl vibe (I have dated lots of these type girls especially club girls and I do believe those chicks can not be changed or they are very dangerous). Im not naive. I have dated all kinds of women who fit your bill perfectly and have been cheated on twice.

But with my current gf deep-down my intuition tells me that my gf is just playful and likes male-attention sometimes. The male attention is not something I deal with on a daily basis though, by any means. I am not sure I could say, its like a permanent personality trait of hers. There have been maybe 7 incidents and this one was one of the worst. I dont think she addicted to flirting with men (but of course, I could be wrong). She is the stay-at-home type and hates clubs. She also works with little kids as a dance-instructor where she acts in a very similar playful manner. (I am not trying down-play anything here, just trying to show some of the nuances I struggle with here as it is hard to understand the complexity of anyone via written posts).

The fact that she remains acquaintences with her exes or has "no hard feelings" issues, tells me she has unlikely cheated on them, as she has said to me. She doesnt have that reputation amongst her friends either. She isnt very impulsive either like the other girls I have dated who tended to be most dangerous like you describe. Deep down, I dont think she would cross the line but like you said, who knows.

In short, I agree with you. Its something I am monitoring closely and I feel like if there are any more instances I probably will have to get out of this relationship. I just dont know if I could walk away quite yet feeling like I made the right decision. Call me naive but I need a little more to end it.

Anyways, thanks for the insight.

Not sure about how you feel about that still.

I have heard such situations about it. And such behaviours are inappropriate and is probably caused by her insecurities and wants the attention. However, if the relationship is strong she probably won't do such a thing, maybe sometimes subconsciously but chances are pretty slim.

I suggest pointing out that you disagree with it and make her see it from your point of view if it was you doing all the touching with the girls you know OR simply have your fun that night and touch all the girls you want and when she questions you about it, you can throw her behaviour at her face.

As guys, we have egos. Yes, we may do stupid romantic sh-t to impress her but once ours we expect exclusivity if not we might as well be full-time PUAs!

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Sorcerer
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"Because everything you felt at the end of the night was just an illusion." - Sorcerer (Singapore PUA)

Just as Sorcerer points out: Give her what she gives you in return.
Karma can be a total beeeotch!

That's the only way those holes will feel the pinch. And when she goes all angry after explaining, WALK AWAY. She's will be expecting you to all soft and admit that you're wrong. But all thanks to this forum, you freaking walk away.

Watch how she comes crawling back to give you a BJ.

_________________
Sorcerer
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"Because everything you felt at the end of the night was just an illusion." - Sorcerer (Singapore PUA)

Solteris wrote:
Im not trying to complicate things for you anymore than im sure they are. I've just seen plenty women that remind me of your girl. For me, personally, I choose not to date these kinds of women. Simply put, she enjoys her sense of freedom in flirting with guys and getting their attention. There isn't anything WRONG with that, but to take a girl that's open and free with her sexuality with guys and try to contain that into a relationship is usually a recipe for bad things.
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Sometimes, as in my experience, a woman may "think" they want to be in a one to one relationship, BUT they still have this inner need for outer validation. For example, having been with a woman in her older 30's-extremely hot for over two years... Some women may be confident in most areas of their lives but relationships and emotional intimacy are a different story. Some women have pasts, most likely very very unfair to them, but it leaves an imprint that gets acted out again and again.
Most men either become very supportive yet justify the behaviors to keep the relationship and get walked on or they eventually can't handle it and act stupid. Seldom do men become supportive AND set tough love boundaries as in "maintaining your personal power and the ability to walk away at all times".
In my experience, they want someone to challenge them and stand up to them. They will test you again and again to see where the boundaries are.

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see it believe it achieve it

You've got people who need to be in a relationship. Then you've got people who need to NOT be in a relationship.

Then you've got people who think they need one but are actually at a stage where they need the other and haven't realised it.

I like to have a talk early on so that we know where we stand. Not directly - just take the conversation in directions that let us talk about ourselves eg. "do you enjoy being single?" the underlying message is that we are both telling each other how we want things to be under the guise of talking about our opinions on the matter.