Agreed - but I did not intend for my post to be read in an "absolute" way. Ignoring shit tests can work but at one point they will indeed frustrate a girl like you stated. The key to building a successful relationship lies in striking that balance between ignoring and communicating, staying aloof but staying loving, being an asshole but showing vulnerabilities.

In this post I pointed out the aspects of ignoring / being laconic because I think that's the problem most guys are facing as of now. They are acting much too engaged with their girlfriend's and freaking out at the slightest congruency tests.

So for instance, when you say "open communication goes a long way" - most guys take that as a green light to expound on their insecurities and constantly badger their girlfriends with their own internal problems. Men will RATIONALIZE talking about their insecurities by saying "I'm just opening up to my girlfriend"

Open communication IS GOOD in a relationship, it DOES go a far way, but that point of nirvana can never be achieved until guys pass the FIRST HURDLE of detaching themselves from the fear of losing their girlfriends and are WILLING to act more in control, to occasionally ignore shit tests, to let go of their Oneitises.

So for the example you gave pertaining to jealousy - 99% of guys will FAIL in openly communicating their disapproval with flirting WHILE STILL MAINTAINING state control.

When you tell your girlfriend "You're flirting with other guys while hanging out with me? Not cool" that statement MUST be devoid of fear, totally resolute. The boundaries you draw must come from a place of principle - not out of fear that she will like another guy more than you. The solution you described is definitely better than mine - but it's idealistic; for guys to GET TO THAT SPOT, they must learn to first totally let go.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

Are you using some NLP shit on me ! because you agree and kinda disagree with me at the same time - I understand what you are trying to get at though


Agree
This is Funny !
This is key in all relationships and interactions.
You may be right here - when I said that I meant to say it in a controlled fashion to communicate disapproval rather than exhibit neediness or jealosy
Disagree to some extent - its hard to let go and show indifference once you too are invested but yes to say it w/o any fear or neediness is something I guess we both agree upon.

If I would seen have the original post before my date on Friday I would have weeded out a few shit-tests. Though the date was for the most part successful I still slipped a couple of times. I'm not sure if this was a shit test but she told me her cousins told her to go with them somewhere and it felt like she was implying she was making sacrifices to come hang out with me, but i replied that I was invited to go clubbing in Long Beach and that both parties should have made plans before Friday. She replied with a simple "i know". Then when we went out I teased her mercifully(something that was mentioned in "the game") in the first part then and didn't hug nor kiss her, then when i started being nice she started hugging and kissing me( I'm usually the one going up to her for that) and i think she was trying to see if i was needy by not talking to me as much in the first part of the date. Remember, I am new to all this and im trying to figure out what works and what doesn't, so its weird trying to be the alpha. I opened up to her a little to much at the end of the night which is my mistake although in return she opened up to me. Thanks for the original post it will help greatly in the future and I agree with everything you said.

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"Life is short, but the world is large"