Thanks for the like NoPlease! I'm glad you liked the video.
I'll try to answer your questions as best as possible..
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1. In a relationship how does a PUA avoid falling into the conundrum of worrying about the relationship and over-thinking?
Honestly this is exactly the same as avoiding over thinking when approaching. Most guys in the pua industry have a well above average IQ, and many score higher in a personality trait called 'neuroticisim' essentially they are better at spotting danger in any environment. I am in both these categories too.
So over thinking comes with that genetic territory. In relationships just as in picking up, you need to learn to be 'present' more of the time and live in the moment. That's the same way guys will learn to be happy and stress less as most PUAs tend to do more than the average person. Techniques for working on that include excercise and meditation. I meditate 30 minutes every day of my life, and thanks to that I can easily get out of my head. But simple exposure to the pickup environment will lower stress levels and help you not overthink as well. but that's only a small cure for one situation. Better to learn to meditate and live life more 'present'.
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2. There are a number of differing ideals and branches of thoughts concerning how to maintain relationships. There is the straight Alpha approach and then the approach which combines a bit of PUA and AFC to maintain relationships. What are your thoughts on maintaining relationships?
Okay so to be honest, I get the gist of what those two methods consist of, but can't claim to be a huge follower of either so don't know for sure how I'd define either of those exactly. In a relationship a man has to be a man, in the true sense of the word. Forget notions of 'alpha' because even the best psychiatrists are trying to work out what 'alpha' actually is in a human colony so assume nobody knows.
But relationship councillors have a pretty good idea what women and men find works best in most relationships. The man needs to be the sensitive leader. He's willing to make all the decisions without asking for permission, but he tries his hardest to make all decisions with her best interests in mind. If she doesn't like his decisions, then she will vocalise it, and he then can reconsider.
To me, maintaining a relationship though, isn't really about that stuff.. That just creates the ongoing sexual polarity required to keep you both wanting each other. I believe a lot of my video pretty much summed up my basic thoughts on maintaining a relationship.
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3. You mentioned this in your video, the concept of "being yourself". Now if I recall correctly you also mentioned that you see a lot of guys falling into the trap of changing themselves or loosing who they are in relationships. How does a PUA avoid this?
Well not just PUAS but every man has this trap.
First of all you have to know who you are and what you stand for. A lot of men are very vague on this notion. What is and isn't important to you? What are your priorities in your life? Figure that out before you get anywhere near a relationship.
Then you have to set clear boundaries with women very early on in the relationship. Sometimes it's too easy to let little things slide, but that's how men lose themselves, but letting their boundaries slide.
That's also how women let men abuse them physically. It starts of as a playful jab, and she ignores it, then it morphs into a shove in an argument that she forgives. The shoves get harder, but she forgives it since it was just a shove. then he accidentally slaps her one time, and since that's only a bit worse than a shove, she forgives him, and it all escalates slowly from there.
Both men and women need strong and clearly defined boundaries with each other.
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4. Would you say communication is KEY to relationships?
Absolutely. But you have to communicate when NOT in an emotional state or you aren't really communicating much useful.
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Damien D
Head Coach - The School of Attraction
The School of Attraction
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