I'm a 29 year old who found out about the community in an odd way. In fact, a close friend of mine wrote and produced a play that went introspective on the community as a huge negative. Plots wavered between misogyny, emptiness being filled with sexuality, etc. Pretty much anything negative that you can see in the community but none of the positive. That's when I was 23 and married.

When I got a divorce last November from the girl I'd been with since I was 16, I was thrown into the gauntlet of dating with 0 experience. A story not too unfamiliar, as it turns out. After sleeping with a few women randomly, and trying to approach a little more than that, all I have found was disappointment. Then, my cousin, hearing my plight, suggested I purchase The Game just for some insight. I bought the book, despised myself for buying it, and it sat on my shelf for a few months until the latest amalgamation of a relationship I had fell apart. I read it in a day.

I have since digested some of the concepts and decided that if nothing else the community can provide insights into human psychology that have already helped me in real life. In fact, some asshole I was dealing with at work was easily managed once I started body language to control the power flow. Suddenly this overtly defensive roadblock was following my direction and understanding the changes that we needed to get a project done.

Seeing that, I decided to look into it a little bit more and got a little snapshot of a workshop. When it got to the point of talking about "How most guys are" and it described a list of every one of the ways I have sabotaged relationships, and even approaches, point-by-point.

So, to get to the point, I am not a PUA, I am not even close. I even have no pickup methods, routines, and spent far too long wondering what was wrong with me. That's over. It's time to gain some skills.

I am a web developer, photographer, writer, and anything I can wrap my head around I want to be good at doing.

Goals, this is a tough one:
I am so recently out of a marriage that I find myself rushing into relationships I didn't want due to wanting the consistent companionship. I've worked out of that and started a good group of friends I missed out on during my very controlling marriage. So, am I looking for a relationship, not really. Am I looking for 100 one night stands? I wouldn't complain.

Mainly, I want to learn the skills necessary for when a girl I really want a relationship comes, that I don't scare her away with my insecurity, fear of rejection, etc. Like I said, this has ALREADY helped me in a work situation, I am ready to see where else this can go.

welcome Wildleaf
just wanted to know where you got the knowledge and skills for the body language that you mentioned. did you mean it in a general sense or did you do some reading that helped you.

good luck

Those are good goals bro mine a re very similar. Congrats on taking the first step and joining up

_________________
Being realistic is the most the most common road to mediocrity. -Will Smith

Basically, while reading through The Game, I re-triggered some stuff I had learned about body language in a psychology course. He had mentioned in the book a situation where there were 2 girls at a bar and he didn't want to be lingering over top of them because it was an intimidating position and how he re-organized the situation to take control (made the girl stand up while he sat in her chair and made her feel a bit off balance).

So when it came to meeting with the muscle-bound guy who had been draining the life from a project we were in I followed 2 simple rules.

1) When I wanted to be heard from a position of authority, when I knew it was something he might initially combat, I stood up.
2) Whenever I saw that there was a situation where it was more worthwhile to chat with him and hear his insights (or if something I said while in position (1) bothered him) I would come down to his level by kneeling by his desk, essentially bringing me to eye level with him. It created a comfort zone where he was more willing to accept anything that may have been presented in (1). There were times where in (2) I could feel him regaining control, and would slowly return to the standing position.

It felt smooth and natural to make those transitions depending on the overall feel of his reactions. I have literally not had a discussion with him previously where I had any sway.