This post was originally posted on Oasis Active's forum. My purpose for writing this post was to share my story with being on oasis, and not to brag or boast.... purely to share my experience. On the OA forum, a lot of members were offended (or perhaps jealous of my success). So I thought I'd post it on here... perhaps you fellas will get to enjoy my story and relate to me..... So here it is! Enjoy!!!

After three years of being on and off Oasis Active, I have decided to finally pull the plug and cancel my account. Don’t get me wrong, it has been a wonderful experience and I have met many amazing and awesome people and of course some real nutters.

As I’m moving away from the internet dating scene, I thought I’d share my story and give you the reader an account of a someone else’s experience. And I am sure, my experience may be similar to a lot of others out there or perhaps even the total opposite. So here it goes….

Let’s start from the beginning! It would’ve have been back in June 2008 when I set up my account for the first time. I joined OA with the intentions of truly meeting that someone special. I know it’s easy to pretend online to be someone that you’re not and let’s face it there are a lot of fakes and dishonest people out there. Therefore, I was ahead of the game to begin with, as I am a genuine and honest guy. I am in that 2%. I took time to write a punchy and intriguing profile (which by the way works when trying to attract like-minded and intelligent people). I also posted accurate pictures of myself and to be honest I didn’t really try to oversell myself (and without boasting, when females did meet me in person they became a lot impressed and further interested).

To describe myself, I would say I am an above average looking guy. I am in great shape, although I am not the tallest guy at 5’8”. I am in my early 30’s, never married and without kids. I have many interests and hobbies, I play sports, salsa dance, amazing at cooking, lived and well travelled around the world, and enjoy the finer things in life – I have class and great taste in restaurants, clothing and home lifestyle. I have a great job that I love and pays a high income (not that I would ever boast this to a lady, but any normal person would realise I’m no pauper when I tell them my profession). I am well educated, have great manners – always a true gentleman, a great conversationalist and I have been raised with high morals, standards and values.

So what’s the catch you must be asking…. Well there is no catch! I have had it on many occasions from women, when they frequently ask me “Why the hell are you single?” And “NO” I am not gay either! If I was to self assess myself, the truth is…. I have very high expectations (just like many “successful” singles out there) and I am not willing to compromise. And I have met many girls in the past three years (both on the internet and real world) that meet my expectations and have unfortunately not worked out. Guess you can also say I am unlucky when it comes to love.

So like I said, I joined OA with good intentions. And within a month of joining I met the most amazing girl and we got on like a house on fire, it was too good to be true… What a great result! And just when things were going wonderfully, I get the dreaded phone call a couple of months in to say it was all over. I was gutted to say the least. But at the same time I accepted her decision and moved on.

A year later and many dates in between, I met another awesome girl and again hit it off immediately and true to form all good things must come to an end and again the young lass pulled the pin and it was over. I should mention, both these girls were great catches and they are both now married and I am confident their husbands would be very happy men.

As you can read I have had a couple of positive results with meeting girls I could have easily fallen in love with and sustained something long term with either of them.

Internet dating for me then became a numbers game and a stringent screening process. Sure I have met some girls that were just beautiful but not right for me.

These are my statistics. After trawling through many profiles and being relatively selective on whom I was requesting, I would say that I would a hit ratio of 1:10 of women that would accept my request. Not bad I thought, as a lot of my friends were not having as high level of success and the quality of girl I was attracting was meeting my expectations.

To go on, in my time I would have chatted to hundreds of women online, and at one time I had over 50 contacts which I had to cull. I have had numerous telephone conversations and I have dated 85 OA women over this three year period. Yes, I have kept a record!

OA, has it pros and cons. For one, it is very time consuming and there have been occasions when a girl I really want to chat to comes online just as I’m ready to make it bed, we end up chatting for such a long time that it cuts into my sleep and I am tired the next day at work. Not a major con I know, but still one nevertheless.

One advantage though is that you get to meet girls during the working week, like a Monday night when you’re bored and want something to do. Secondly, you get to meet girls that you would normally never get to meet at all in your day to day life. What a great advantage.

This is where the stats now get interesting. So I have dated 85 girls, mostly great experiences and a couple experiences I would rather forget. But, mostly good! I attribute my success to my screening process. I think the key to meeting anyone online is to really get to know the person beforehand.

This includes becoming Facebook friends and really checking out their photos and their activities. It’s amazing how many girls have amazing shots on OA and when you check them out on FB, they are not as appealing. Great screening mechanism Facebook is for eliminating people. Secondly, I must have a phone chat with the person and I would never agree to meet or date someone through texting. On some occasions we have not clicked over the phone and therefore nothing eventuates.

Now for the SEX! I was absolutely gob smacked with the amount of girls that will put out on the first or second date. Being a gentleman, I have never once made the first move or made sexual advances towards a girl. In all honesty, I want the girl to feel comfortable, safe and at ease throughout the whole evening. Obviously, women are apprehensive with meeting a stranger, and I take this into consideration. I have heard from many women that they have felt absolutely calm and relaxed after meeting me.

To the guys reading this, you should never pressure a woman or make her feel uncomfortable. If you really want a sexual encounter, then don’t make them feel threatened and they will let their guards down and pounce on you when the time is right. And on the flip side, if there is no chemistry, then be gracious in defeat and walk away with your dignity. Nothing worse than desperately forcing yourself onto someone when there is no connection in the first instance.

Off the 85 girls I have dated…… I have slept with 46 girls, received oral pleasure from three and kissed and fooled around with two. The other 34 girls were girls that either rejected me or vice versa. I think it’s funny when a girl says I won’t sleep with you on the first date, but will happily give you a BJ….. like that’s any better.

Don’t get me wrong, I love sex, we all do! But, sometimes the “player” in me comes out and with ease I am able to arouse and seduce a woman to wanting to sleep with me, especially when I am not interested in pursuing something long term. I have had some instances when I have converted these girls into becoming regular booty calls. And sometimes it ends in heartbreak. For me, that is the hardest to tell a girl that I do not want to pursue anything further after the initial date when intimacy has taken place.

Yes I can be accused as a “predator” or a “player”! However, one thing is for sure…. I am a “MALE”

Taken from the movie: NATURAL BORN KILLERS

American Red Indian: Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, “Why have you done this to me?” And the snake answered, “Look bitch, you know I was a snake.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself!

Advice for the ladies reading this. I feel compelled to offer you ladies advice and help you out for your future dates. Firstly, never agree to meet a guy at his place or yours. This is where most of my dates have taken place, and after a few glasses of wine, intelligent conversation, soft chilled out music and me behaving like a sophisticated gentleman…. Will 9/10 start with innocent kissing before leading to sex. This is like my standard play (for a player)…. I never force a woman to drink or get drunk…. In fact, I will offer water constantly and encourage a break (a true gentlemanly thing to do). But when a woman feels relaxed and comfortable she will drink past her limit. When this happens, I know she has every intention to stay the night, because there is no way she would be driving home intoxicated. So there you have it! My advice is to avoid home dates…. Unless all you really want is sex, and don’t get me wrong that’s fine. I always find it amusing when a girl says it to me “I have never done this before”, If, I had a dollar for every time I hear that, I would be a very rich man, hahaha! But seriously, if you’re wanting to avoid heartbreak then don’t go back to his place. On many occasions I have had to the “dumped” text / call…. For me, never an enviable task either.

Okay, so you’ve now decided to play it safe and meet somewhere public. I have never been one for coffees, so I always opt for the drink at a classy bar somewhere. This too can be dangerous and open a door to a sexual encounter. Again after drinks, dancing, ambience, and smooth talking… the lady will start kissing and this leads going back to someone’s house. So what do I suggest to combat this from happening? Well, quite simply if you’re choosing to meet at a bar in the evening, pick a venue that is a distance away from home. Because, if you live nearby, I will suggest we go back to yours. As a player, most of my bars are chosen five minutes from my place or hers. This is a recipe for success by my standards.

To successfully sleep with 46 OA girls, my method has been home dates or nearby bars.

This is advice I give to my mates that are also on oasis that are not as confident when it comes to women as me.

NEVER, do a movie, because you don’t get to chat and get to know one another, and most time after the movie you go your separate ways and she decides that there was no connection. How can there be a connection when you haven’t spent time getting to know one another?

NEVER, take a girl out for dinner on the first time. Nothing worse than spending good dollars on someone that never wants to see you again after. Funnily, women want to be treated as equal, but are happy to accept a free meal.

NEVER, do coffees! No real reason. May work for others. For me, I don’t drink coffee and I think it’s boring. But each to their own.

DATING ETTIQUETTE. This is important for women to read and understand. Remember, on a first date the chemistry only occurs after you have met, and not by chatting online and phone calling and texting. As you would all agree, you need to meet someone face to face to determine whether there is something there worth exploring. So the first date should not be considered as a romantic gesture. Rather it should be viewed as a meet and greet as friends would do. Saying this, the correct etiquette for women meeting a man on a first internet date, is to PAY their share for the meal, drinks, etc. This is nothing but poor form to allow a guy you are not interested in and have him pay for you. If the gentleman offers to pay and you are not interested, then you should insist and reach into your purse and give him the money. This is manners and the correct way to behave. Guys do get pissed off when you lead them on, get them to pay and then they hear back that you are not interested in pursuing anything further. This has happened to me at least three times and it is not a good feeling to be taken advantage of in this way. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t go out with one of your friends and have them pay for you now would it?

If you do want to see the guy again, then allow him to pay and make sure you see him again. Perhaps next time can be your shout. If the guy is so insistent about paying and you have physically taken money out of your purse and he gives it back to you…. then you gave him the opportunity and he is an idiot for not accepting. Hey, I am not a tight arse and I don’t care about the money. It’s all about PRINCIPLES.

TYPES OF GIRLS TO AVOID. For me, there was only one type of girl to avoid and it was the ones with kids. Sure I gave them a crack from time to time, and let’s face it when kids are involved they will not have enough time to dedicate to you as an unattached single girl.

I have read this so many times on girl’s facebook page…. “Don’t make someone a priority in your life, if you are only an option in their life.” How true! Unfortunately, “milfs” as I refer to them, are the biggest time wasters for me, and never had any luck with setting up meetings.

CONCLUSION

After three good years of internet dating, I have decided once and for all to leave. The straw that broke the camels back happened to me! Over the past couple of weeks I have become frustrated and thought to myself what an investment in time I have made on OA to have not have the desired result I was initially after. Sure the sexual encounters have been wonderful, but now I want something more.

To put it bluntly, OA is a meat market and has served its purpose at time for supplying willing and consensual sexual partners.

I have noticed the same girls on here over the years and I think to myself why they haven’t found anyone either.

The true fact is, is that internet dating (whether it be RSVP or Plenty of Fish), has a very slim success of finding that someone special. Although it is a new way of meeting people in today’s society, I believe you have to go back to the old fashioned methods of meeting someone and chase and court that special person.

One thing internet dating has done, it has made it easier for weirdos and losers to meet people and also allowed married people to discreetly cheat behind their partners back.

It sounds like I am bitter and I can assure you I am not!

In some ways Internet dating has made me lazy. Before joining, I would meet girls with ease when I was out and about. Nowadays, I have been disinterested with approaching women and this is because mentally, I know when I get home I can just jump on oasis and start chatting away. This is a problem, because the quality of beautiful women out there in the real world surpasses by a long shot the women online. And I know by leaving oasis, I will revert back to my old ways and approaching these glamourous girls that aren’t even online to begin with.

To all the ladies I have met and chatted to. Thank you for this experience. I have met many great girls that I can still proudly say I am friends with today.

To all you readers, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed or got something out of my experience. This was my way of being able to close this chapter in my life of internet dating. I have had a great run!

All the best in your search for love and happiness!