So here goes

Im a student from england I have been in a relationship for about 3 years. Before and during this time I have had no trouble approaching and talking to girls. I've always been able to communicate with girls on a good level and during the single times its always been easy to progress this onto other more intermate things. But a few months ago I split with my girlfriend and things just havent been the same.

I find myself going out with my friends but having absolutley no confidence to talk to other girls. There always seems to be a group of girls that comes nearby and dances for a while. My friends take these opportunities but I can never work up the confidence to approach or start a conversation. Maybe partly because I dont know what to say.

For example tonight me and a friend were having a bit of a boogie and two really hot girls approached and started dancing nearby. My friend soon started a conversation off with one of them and she seemed very interestsed but I stood there feeling unable to talk to the other girl and after a while they both left. I think it would of been a different story if i had spoken to the friend.

I just feel at a bit of dead end because this has been happening for a while and my confidence hasnt improved at all. I can generaly hold a conversation with a girl but its the first bit which I just cant overcome and there is nobdy about that really understands where i am coming from that can push me to overcome this. I'm at a bit of a loss because i dont know what to do now and i want things to improve.

Has anybody got any advice because it would be much apreciated?

Martyn

when you get that level of connection and find it severed, its not easy to cope with. you gotta realize, that YOU are you. and you are NOT the relationship you were in. I think you slipped into the role of boyfriend too easily and forgot that who and what you are are two entirely different things. be WHAT you are. my best friend got me a calendar for my birthday of zen sayings. one of them was pretty profound and changed me a lot. "When you are honest with yourself, and brave enough, than you can express yourself fully. Whatever others may think it is alright. This is practice, your actual life." Think on this my friend.

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I'm only building on the past. TIGERS BLOOD!

Heya, A common thing about relationships is that your confidence can be very low and you feel less worthy, you got to strengthen your confidence! especially with girls, possibly by just forcing yourself to speak and smile to pretty girls.

Good luck, and be a killer out there

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You got to start somewhere...

Beyond touched on it but I feel the need to stress it, SMILE SMILE SMILE. This is so key to interacting with any person you meet. Not a fake bull shit smile I mean really fuckin' smile. Smile because your breathing, smile because your there, smile because your about to meet a new person. Now come the next thing which is also just as important as smiling, some people call it an opener. This "opener" is the first thing you say to a girl. Theres tons of "canned openers" (shit that other people have thought up to strike up a conversation with a female.) that work to varying degrees of success. The most common by far would be what is called an "opinion opener" basically you ask a girl her opinion on something. Now you can go up and ask random off the wall shit like "Hey do you brush you teeth first or floss first?" But a more advanced thing would be, as you seem like a fairly intelligent fellow, using something that its situationally relevant. This is called a "situational opener" example;"Hey look at those two they look like-------"fill in the black you jack ass I'm not doing all the fucking work for you. Now the most advanced opener is called "Hi" its where you walk up to a girl and say "hi". Most people arn't this advanced, but if you risk using the "hi opener" I promise a interesting conversation will follow. In the end it all comes down to practice and having fun. Drink a few beers have fun with your friends and talk to girls its really that easy. If you run into some problems in the beginning DRINK MORE BOOZE, have more fun, and think about how you hate beating off and crying yourself to sleep. oh yea and welcome man.

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Heres to our children, may their fathers be rich and their mother be beautiful

Okay guys some interesting and helpful stuff there. Thanks for the advice I'll check back soon!

Martyn