| Ok so i guess i should introduce my self, The name is Shame. Yes, this is my PUA name, come on what self respecting parent would honestly name their kid shame?
I am 22 years old, im currently in the united states marine corps, though i hate it, and if im not at work, I pretend that I'm not in the service. I was raised in southern utah, as a Mormon, and that fact alone basically assured my awkwardness around girls. However to compound the problem, because of behavioral problems i was also pulled out of regular high school, and placed into a group home. so for about 3/4th of what should have been my time to gain dating experience, i was stuck in one building with 15 other adolescent males, round the clock. When i finally rejoined regular society i was much healthier mentally, but severely awkward around the opposite gender.
Didn't lose my virginity until after i had graduated. and shortly before the boot camp i caught my girl friend cheating on me. this was not an uncommon thing, every girl i ever had been with had cheated on me... for about a year i was wrapped up in training, and when i finally started to think about women again i was in Pensacola Florida, at one of the most intellectually challenging schools in the military.
there i met a girl who i had been in love with all the way back in 2nd grade, before you know what the REAL difference between boys and girls is. We hit it off, and dated for a year. we never had sex, because we were both trying to wait till we got married, though i was more strong at this point and stopped our naked escapades several times. the day before our wedding day came, she told me she couldn't do it any more, couldn't tell me why, and not to contact her till she contacted me. After that she dissapeared.
I plunged into depression..i graduated my school, and then was assigned to another. arriving in south Carolina i decided to change everything about my self...I have always been the NICEST GUY YOU HAVE EVER MET. People constantly tell me im like a knight in shining armor, or that im one of the last good men in a dieing world.
I started drinking, smoking, being a dick, to both men and women. I had a close group of friends i treated like gold, and everyone else was just a tool to get what i wanted. I stopped using my real name....i thought that this drastic change would repel people from me...i was wrong.
I was very easily the most popular guy in that school. I went out every night, met a new chick, and went home with her, only to sleep with her, and never answer her phone calls. i became everything i hated in a man, and it made people CRAVE my attention. but i still wasn't happy.
after living this way for about a year, i couldn't keep it up...the nice guy inside was dieing, and i hated what i had become. In 6 months i had gone from one girl, to 53. And it all seemed empty. so one day, when i got orders to move to California, i decided when my car stopped in 29 palms, i was back to good old me.
And i did...except the drinking and smoking, i went back to being the white knight....look you don't understand, when i say white knight, i mean it. I am literally the guy they talk about when they say "nice guys finish last." many of my closest friends have been quoted as saying " You are one of the last great men in a dieing world."...its sick.
I dated a few women, and got hurt a lot. I never dated more than one at a time, and was cheated on by all of them... things were building again..
This new years, a friend of six years and i finally got into the relationship that was waiting to break through. We were perfect for each other in every way, except one. She lived in utah, i live here. I was driving six hours each way every weekend for a month or two, and things were still great, but because of her self worth issues she feels like she has to have something physical. after 2 months of the greatest relationship ether of us could have asked for, she broke it off, and a week later climbed into bed with a nobody. She has since told me that until i am out she just wants to be friends, and until then we can be romantic, but mostly she just wants to be friends.
I snapped...a friend of mine gave me the book "the game"...i read it in one day...i reread it the next....i got on this board, and one other and started researching...i had a goal... a propose, i was driven....here are my goall...stupid as it may sound.
1: i want to get to be one of the best pickup artists on the west coast...i want to be able to make any woman attracted to me with in 20 minutes of the first hello.
2:I want to make Courtney fall so hard in love me she comes running back, and at that time i have the decision to take her back or not.
3. I want to not only learn the skills to meet and attract any women i want, i also want the skills to keep them. I'm done being cheated on.
4. I want to be one of the most RESPECTABLE pickup artists in the game...Meaning that i want to treat my women better than anyone else
5. Provided that i don't end up wanting to be with Courtney, i want to attract the perfect wife.
6. I want to teach others who are in my same position, so that i can help them.
7. Lastly i don't want to lose my self completely in the process.
So there you have it.....
the moto im living by right now is "IF YOU DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO, YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS GOT." well im sick of what i have got, and im going to change it.
would love help and advice.
yours truly
Shame.
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CHAT