I just now had a bunch of depressing historical retrospective come pouring out of me, because it's my 41st birthday. It's worse than my 40th; when I was 40, I could lie to myself about that last digit. In my head I could turn it back 1 year, to 39. I could pretend I wasn't really in my 40s, especially if you count like a computer guy. At 41, I can't do that anymore. Like it or not I'm solidly into my early 40s now. In previous generations that would be a midlife crisis, one foot in the grave. Thankfully I'm health-wise enough, and medical advances are such, that I'm aiming for 100. So I'm not expecting a true mid-life crisis until I'm 50. But shit, your 40s will still make you think "What the fuck happened?" If there's something you haven't done.

I know what the fuck happened. I thought about posting it, but the internet tends to be forever, so I've decided against it. We can only wake up and deal with today and tomorrow anyways. We should not let our past define ourselves too much.

I do lie on my online profile. I'm 5 years younger. I also look 5 years younger, or more, in my opinion, so I don't allow numbers to define me. I get carded. How do these dumbasses possibly think I look younger than 30? But I get carded, and I'm flattered. Lazy fucking bouncers, don't have the balls to take responsibility for actually thinking about someone's age. My bald spot should get me in anywhere. I did start losing it at 26, so it doesn't define me either. The best way to play off a bald spot, is to simply not care about it at all. Plenty of women do not fucking care.

What age woman does a 41 year old man hit on? Seems like way too much of a gap to the college age girls. Too bad, because there's a lot of that in this town. Never say never, but for now it's "be serious." Too broke to date most "career women" right now, although that could change within months, and then no one would ever need know. Based on some stats on OkCupid, I adjusted my upwards acceptable age range a bit. The site said, too many men are prejudiced against older women. I said, some of 'em are actually keeping themselves up. So I adjusted my range to 25..45. Ten years up or down from my claimed age. Today, will I change it from 26 to 46? Nah, don't think so!

Glad I'm not a divorced woman with 2 kids in tow, tell you that!

Happy Birthday to me
I'm Reformed AFC
I look like a monkey
And I'm so DHV!!!!!!