Hello

I'm a boy at the age of 17 who've always, as long as he can remember had a very bad self esteem but one time when I was 14 I finally got my first girlfriend and she was 19 at the time.
This made me very happy and gave me a much needed self esteem boost, I started believing in myself and my life had never been better!.....until I found out that she had been cheating on me with 3 guys and got pregnant with one but told me it was my child..
So, I was going to jump of the school and get a job to be able to support the child since she insested in keeping it.
Later it turned out that the child was not mine and well, it was my first love and since I come from a culture where family means everything I got really depressive but at the same time very happy that I wasn't going to become a father.
I started using drugs, alcohol etc. etc. until one day I decided to get over it and continue my life!
I got a new girlfriend 4-5 mounths ago that lasted for two weeks before she lost her interest in me, 2 weeks after the break up I met a new girl who I lasted with for one week, by the way! I should mention that I had been using some PUA stuff on her I learnt from Neil Strauss books and from the internet and it worked like a charm.
Anyway, school started and I met this new girl in school, I was very happy and I used PUA stuff on her, worked like a charm here too but then when we said that well maybe we should be bf/gf I became the one I've always been!
The nice guy who is very romantic and BAM! she lost her interest in me.
We broke up 2 weeks ago after a 4 week long relationship.
Unfortinativly she had joined my band and we play alots of gigs etc. etc. so we're rehearsing ALOT, around 15-20 hours / week.
So I've to be with her for 15-20 hours / week and get reminded about what happend between us.

My point is that all theese short relationships is messing with my head and have made my self esteem go really bad again because I feel like I ain't good enough for anyone so that's why I decided to join this site and work on my game, mainly my inner game.

I'm sorry for my bad spelling

Love

Pastorius