Ok, if you're interested, here's the story. I met my ex girlfriend at Barnes and Noble. We worked together, in fact I was the one who was put into the position of training her. Now, because I had a reason to talk to her (we worked together) and I had a reason to endlessly neg her (her work performance based on my training) I was easily able to attract her. Now, once we started sleeping together, things really took off. We had everything in common. We loved the same shows, movies, we loved to talk politics, we loved animals, she absolutely loved sex and wanted to get it from me as much as possible, 3 and a half years and the sex never slowed. About two years in she wrote me a long not telling me that words couldn't even describe her feelings for me and how I would always be the one for her. We were completely in love. One problem. She was my first, and I was going through some depression. It distorted my thinking, caused me to act insecure, and I ended up throwing away the best thing in my life because I was so insecure about having only been with one woman. She was devastated and she ran into the arms of the nearest guy and moved in with him almost immediately. I started going to therapy to work on my issues and I slowly started to realize what a mistake I made. Now I know she's the one but she's in a relationship with this rebound guy. I honestly feel like this girl is the one and I don't know what to do. Help

Hey Jwilliams,we've all been through that-One-itis.

But you have a bad case of it.

But your case is some what justified;you were with this girl for 3 years or so.

There are guys out there who catch One-itis after just 1 conversation with a girl.

In fact,Im currently going through a semi-One-itis situation with a girl whom I havnt even laid(lol).

But I honestly think you should leave this girl alone.

All the bullshit talk about she's the one is killin you.

You need to rid yourself of the mind set that "she's the one,she's perfect."

If she was the one,she would not have left you like that for another dude.

In fact,she's definitely not the one.

And WTF you mean "you throwed away the best thing in your life"??

You're the best thing-not this girl!

Seh's no special than any random chicc.

Why are you dying over this chicc man!!?

She isnt thinking about you at all.

That fact should be the sobering truth for you.

She isnt going through therapy over this!

I know it's easier said than done to get over On-itis;especially in your case since she was your 1st.

Besides therapy,you need to be out there gaming,laying other chiccs...

I listened a pick-up podcast episode months ago with Aj & Jordan Harbinger,they spoke about how therapists would recommend for their patients to go,or continue going to Art Of Charm workshops for their relationhip issues.

Why pay therapists all this money when you can just learn social dynamics(pick-up)and deal with your prob'?

Your problem is,you're not fuccing sarging nor gaming other girls.

What steps are you taking to deal with One-itis(as far as seduction tactics)?

_________________
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Agreed with the last post..

I'm new here, but have read a bit.. I have been going through the same thing, which now I feel a lot better just more recently.

I just got out of a relationship of about 2.5 years, about 3 months back now. We were broken up at the time, but still sleeping together, and she went and f'd some other dude while I started trying to work things out, so I took all her stuff that night (when I found out she was there then instead of the two lies she made up.. staying at her dad's cause her cousin was sick, and then changed it up after I told her I talked to her cousin earlier that day and he was fine, and she really just wanted to do "girls night.." bleh..) .. we were broken up in fairness, but she was killing me texting guys in our bed, just fuckin.. I dunno. I started being a pansy and wanting her back even though I initiated the breakup..

So anyways, I fucked up bad, because.. she haden't had her period in like 2 months, and there was a couple kind of "close" times.. She kept calling me and what not right after I threw out all of her crap (I moved it to her friends house - that she was supposedly staying at).. I told her she could come over only to take the test a few days later.. after she had been begging to talk to me, etc.. When she was over.. I had a bottle of "La Fin Du Monde" (a more expensive beer) in the fridge, which we had picked together a week before - she doesn't drink much, but agreed to drink it cause she likes french stuff n what not and does once in awhile.. Anyways, she stalled like mad trying to talk to me.. and it sucked cause I did really want to hold her and all that crap, was fuckin hard, but I kept insisting to go take the test, or I was just gonna take her home.. She was stalling cause I told her I could never have her baby now, etc.. and was all hurt by that supposedly..

Anyways, she pulled the bottle out of the fridge and said only if you drink this with me after.. I said no at first, and just because she kept stalling, said ok whatever, just do it. She took it and it was negative, and I was so happy I really did feel like a drink, and ended up drinking it with her, and let her stay the night "one last time" is what I said.. We f'd.. she cried half way through (past: we had an abortion together which she got all guilt-tripped about from her mom calling her a murderer after.. this was just a couple months after we met, and the only time I've gotten someone pregnant, I was being fairly careful..)

Anyways, sorry to make this all long. We did our own things, still talking to eachother a bit.. but she was still kind of seeing this guy (but mostly she did mention it much, or tried not too around me).. I found myself really wanting her back though.. really bad.. felt like I kind of took her for granted kind of thing, and ya.. just kept pushing it and pushing it and she would just get further away.. and frustrated with me. I'd tell her I loved her and she'd go closer to him, or talk to me less.. It sucked so bad..

Finally, I tried with alllllll of my might.. I know it's SUPER Hard man.. but IGNORE HER. DO NOT TALK TO HER AT ALL... Just Stop.. Give it like a month or so and see what happens.. In my case a couple weeks went by and she randomly sends me a picture of her a$$ and ask if I think it's getting fatter, because some guy at her work was trying to touch it.. bleh bleh.. basically she's trying to make me jealous kind of thing.. I'm telling you I KNOW, it's FING HARD.. what you need to do is GO OUT.. with FRIENDS, just go have as MUCH FUN AS YOU CAN.. Be busy, do things that interest you.. Distract your MIND!

You'll start feeling better yourself, and like me now.. She just text me again last night, after I did talk to her a bit again, and fucked up again and started saying I looooove you! bs - all of a sudden she wasn't talking again... .. so I stopped again, and now just last night she texts me.. I was laying there on my couch, just thinking of her and how much I wanted to fing talk to her, but didn't and sure enough a few hours later, she texts me... The more you've put into it, and the further it's got.. It might take a little longer for her to snap back.

Is she asking to be your friend still or not even that? Mine just kept insisting to be my friend.. I wrote her once, and said no, I considered you a GF, and not a friend.. after I had been wishy washy and saying ya friends could work.. I read a PUA thing on being firm, etc after, and basically told her that and then just ignored her again until she wrote me back.. You can write back.. Just act busy, keep it short..

Like.. when she does eventually.. wait a little, write back, and say something like Hey, nice to hear from you, but I'm super busy right now working on some project, or whatever - something like that. .. You wanna try me a little later? ..etc.. something like that..

Anyways, Let me know how it goes, and best of luck.

Rich.

Also Just an additional note - When I say I feel a lot better - Now, I don't know if I really want her anymore.. I mean she went and f'd some other dude/s, and I feel stronger, more confident, and better about myself just by forcing myself to go out and have some fun (instead of sitting around moping and thinking about her by myself.. don't do that to yourself, it sucks and turns her off.. make her jealous subtley.. let her "accidentally" catch you with another girl, etc.. if you can.. but stay confident, and be and act busy.. be careful to stay firm to this, I messed up a bit at one point, and suddenly was back into the dopey I love you, which scared her off again!, build it back up slow.. Think back to what first attracted her, and work on that.. talk briefly, but gradually work back up.. over a bit of time.)

Okay, so I'm making this into multiple post.. lol but am adding (I need 5 posts to make the post I actually wanted to make for myself.. (web link issue):))

If you do force yourself to this process, and work on yourself - start going to the gym, or just doing hobbies that you love, make sure to hang out with friends, or try to meet new friends... If you force yourself to stick to it, and resist talking to her, you'll reconsider the "she's the one"... I was totally in that I fucked up, I want her back, I want to have her baby kind of thing just a month ago.. and I still think about her, but now, also.. I'm thinking, godamn I'm sexy.. lol.. why settle. . Do yourself the favor.. Be Strong. I KNOW how it is.

Cheer's man.

Good advise Akashra.

Your story is hectic too man.

I've been through it also months ago.

I'd manages to work out the differences in my LTR of a year and a half.

Through some advise from guys on the forum,I was able to turn round my relationship.

But the #1 cure for One-itis is to go sarge,game and fucc other women.

Simple as that.

But for the guys home stay home and whine and cry,that wont help.

Plus,I notice after about 4 days of no contact with that OYD(object of your desire),you start to feel an air of independence.

That's just how long it takes me.

When I manage to go 3-4 days without calling,texting the girl,I feel like a re-born man.

The feeling of One-itis will quiccly fade after a week.

Especially if you met a new girl to put your attention on-genuinely,and not just as a crutch.

Be strong JWill'.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

Thanks Jay.. She just text me again tonight.. Lol.. I told her the truth - I was talking to a very good old friend who was going through an emotional crisis, and asked her to try me later.. Now, I got a date tomorrow with the old friend.. this is like a close friend from childhood up to 14 or so that we both kinda crushed on eachother a little but were shy about so never really acted on it (and were kids).. but I lost contact with awhillle back, and recently came across again.. Funny that I run back into her. I actually ran the LA marathon with her when I was I think 13, and went to vegas for the first time with her... Should be interesting .

I can't tell you not to try and get her back.
But you hurt her, and there is a chance that hurt will prevent her from feeling the same way about you ever again.

The other guys told you to move on. But you don't want to have to move on and live the next 10+ years of your live in regret thinking "what is she doing? who is she with? would I be happier with her? did I make a mistake?"

Going out and fucking lots of girls is a solution, but it's only a short term, TEMPORARY solution.

I will say right now your problems aren't about her, you need to help yourself. Whats to say that you get this girl back and start feeling pissed off because she ran off to the nearest guy right after you guys broke up?
What if your insecurities about only being with 1 girl come back out and you behave in the same way? and end up losing her again?

Alternatively, lets say you don't try and get her back. You find another girl.
You may still have the same insecurities no matter which girl it is.
What if you're dating a different girl and you start living in doubt and regret thinking "should I go back to the first girl?"

Your best bet if you want her back is to try and talk to the girl and tell her what happened and apologize for what you did.
Add the fact that shes living with a guy into the mix.