hey guys

i have a relationship question

i am at college and have been in a friends with benefits relationship i met in the first week at school. we slept together plenty of times in the first 4 weeks of the relationship but kept it very casual as she is here on a 6 month semester exchange. works for me friends with benefits seemed too good to be true.

anyways the complication was that prior to her meeting me she organized for her exboyfriend (4 years relationship and she broke it off with him 4 months ago) to come over for 2 and a half weeks to travel during spring break. anyways i acted indifferent to him coming over and met him briefly. so when he was here he slept in her bed and presumably they slept together at some point over the two weeks. no big deal really, it was going to happen and who was i to say what she can and cant do, well that was the frame i was projecting anyways, right or wrong. neither of us ever verbally said we liked each other except for the night before he arrived and after sex i said to her that i liked her (thought it be best to stake my claim at least, reduce the ambiguity of the situation for her). anyways i acted very non needy over the two weeks eg. only responded to her text mesaasges, never sent any to her, no calls etc.

so two weeks go by, he leaves and im thinking i will give it a few days for her to get make into her normal frame of mind. anyways the night after he left that morning she drunk texts me, in the same manner as she had done before (subtext=come over i want to fuck). with me being sexless for 3 weeks and optimistically thinking one night and everything will go back to normal, went over (literally 3 doors down the hall). so i get there, we watch 30 rock and chat for a bit, but the whole time she shows disinterest. i stayed for 20 minutes then left. so i head over 2 days latyer to just hangout. shes studying (more disinterest) then she gets dressed to hang with friends. i mean we havent hung out in 3 weeks and she doesnt want to even talk. benefits or no benefits, we are still friends?

day after i facebook chat and say im coming over. shes says no cause she is studying (never happened before and i used to go over there everyday before the ex came over).

so im thinking....im fucked

my thinking is that she doesnt want to be a slut but that still doesnt explain the general disinterest.

so my plan is to mini freezeout for a week as any contact will appear as neediness and shes fucking cold at the moment. pretty frustrating when things were so hot before the break.

i chatted to a mate of mine who is in on the game and his read on the situation is that the ex came over to plead his case (he knows about me) and as such he would have associated alot of negativity towards her relationship with me and that it will take time for her to shake it now that he has left.

my plan is to give her a week and then hangout again and see what happens

obviously im looking for some advice as to what the fuck is going on here and her thinking.

if anyone can repost this in the relationship section that would be greatly appreciated.

thanks


chase202