Hi,

My name is Damien, from Wales in the UK.

I suppose I'll start from the beginning (this is going to be a soul cleansing experience, I can see it coming.)

In high school I was incredibly socially awkward. I had a small group of friends and we used to get together and play video games on the weekend. In the summer we would go the park and check out girls. Of course, the thought of speaking to them was out of the question. They were eye candy, because we had no balls.

By the time I was 20, I'd had sex with 3 girls and my longest relationship had been 3 months. I still didn't feel comfortable around the opposite sex and my lays had been pretty much all long term friends.

Then I went to uni and, for a while, got hooked on cocaine. I saved up some money and went to New Zealand for a month to detox but when I came back I noticed a massive change. I was much less intimidated by the world. I got a new job in a local cinema and met a guy called Adam who introduced me to the world of fashion! So, with my student loan and wages I set out buying an entirely new wardrobe and eventually he and I moved in together. He had a long term girlfriend but prided himself on being a natural flirt. He really, really is a natural. However, without knowing anything about the community or pick up, I successfully slept with 22 girls in 9 months. I'm not proud of all of them, but the point is I managed to pick girls up. I wasn't afraid of them any more. It was an absolutely wonderful feeling.

Then she came into my life. I got a girlfriend. I'd graduated by this point but was helping my friend out on a short film he was making. I met Kat there and we had a whirlwind romance. After a year I was convinced we were going to spend the rest of our lives together so I proposed behind a beautiful waterfall on a spring day. It was the happiest day of my life. We kept it up and eventually decided to move in together.

Then it all went horribly wrong.

I guess the relationship went stale. I was frustrated with my job, she with hers...and then I found out that she'd been cheating on me. I was heartbroken. That was 6 months ago.

Whilst we were going out, my brother borrowed me a copy of 'The Game' and a book on NLP. I read The Game and fell in love with the idea of being a PUA. I wanted to ooze confidence and have a swagger and be able to make new friends. But, I had my Kat and the idea sort of...came and went.

When we broke up I read it again and the idea came to me again. So then I bought 'The Rules of The Game' and started watching Youtube videos of all the different PUA's.

But for some reason, I'm finding it so hard to approach. I run things through in my head and I'm the coolest fucking guy in all the land, but when it comes to it I either start a conversation off well and sort of...crash and burn. Or I convince myself I don't like the girl that much, or the music is too loud, or she's too good for me or whatever excuse I can think of first that particular day.

And that's why I'm here.

I think I need to work on my inner game and rather than lurk the posts, I figure if I can make some friends I can get some one on one help to deal with my specific problems.

Over and out x