so. i've known about PUA for about 2 years now and i've tried it about, 2 times, get disheartened and quit. i quit, hoping i'll find true love and blah blah blah, you know how it goes.

my biggest personal setback has been my weight. i've come to the conclusion about a week ago that the kind of women i want do not want a man my size. to add, i'm kind of a slob. not a good combo. i'm working out like crazy and eating a strict diet and a few months from now i'll be ripped. plus, i'm working on the clothes and cleanliness too.

but, as some or most guys know, the bod doesn't instantly get you the women you want. i need the PUA skill set to do that along with the body of a god.

another thing, i'm a hopeless romantic, like a lot of other guys here i'm sure and that means i get one-itis... BAD. been hung up over a girl for almost a year now, about 8 of those months she's had some douchebag boyfriend. worst part is i work with this girl and we hang out every now and then, we're "friends..." i know the only thing to get me out of this fucking one-itis is to get other women. luckily i've enlisted a friend who's also an AFC that's gonna get with the PUA mindset.

but PLEASE, any of you out there, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! give me some advice to break through that initial AA and doubt.... i'm sick and tired of living like this. as anyone else that has made it, i know i've got the stuff to do it but i feel lost...

thanks for your help

_________________
Peace,

Love John

"The cure for one-itis, PUAs like to say, is to go out and have sex with a dozen other girls- and then see if this flower is still so special." Style

Start from scratch and do some newbie missions! if you been doing this for a while looks like you jumped in too fast!

Man I agree 100%, I am a hopeless romantic type, and Im not gunna bullshit ya, Im a big guy too, I am not fat but I have a little weight, and I (Luckly enough, have big arms and a big core, natually) But seriously, all you really need is a pleasant apperance and confidence, when a girl says that she looks for confidence in a guy, its that no matter how she looks (and by the way, the more dolled up a girl is, the lower her sense of confidence is) she wants a guy thats not scared to come and talk to her, look her in the eye and not hit on her, if you want a girl to walk away, then by all means stare at her tits and try to mack on her like every other AFC, but if you want resaults, dont be a chump, act like you are special and try to project your confidence and authority. Dont be scared to walk away, you need to show her that you have more to offer her than every other guy around, and if you arnt her type or she isnt giving you IOI's then move on, play the numbers game!

I hope this helps man, I was in your shoes about a months ago, and this forum has changed me!


-Narlo

hey bud, first off your a good soul. i'm sure any you'll do well and any relationship you get into. Now i’m new to the game, and was a HUGE AFC but i was savvy to work out enough core concepts on my own to land me in a nice long term relationship with a actress/ burlesque model. I got into the game because it really opened my eyes and i had “oh yeah!!” moment after “of course!!” moment: p
My personal advice to you my friend, while working out and losing the weight has health benefits, and make you physically feel better, it’s a total myth girls like ribbed guys (in my experience.) now i’m also a make-up artist by trade. I work with women and hired guns all the time! From someone in the beauties industry, it’s our job to make guys like you feel ugly! That’s how we make money!!
From what i’ve gathered look don’t equal attraction. (common myth) however how you dress and look can say allot about a person’s life style and social value, sadly not the person inside. So bare that in-mind when putting together your avatar. As for weight, by all means work out but do it for the right reasons, do it for your sake to get healthier not “because it’s what women want”.

Take Joe D from the pickup artist. Got to the top 3 and he was a big guy! For me, it starts with the inner game. All the gambits materiel in the world means shit if u doesn’t have the confidence to back it up. As for building confidence, it comes one small peace at a time. Get into the mind set and build that solid core, and the outer game will follow. Piece of cake. So to sum up, my advice start with working on your inner game. Crate an avatar that sends the messages you want other people to know, and most importantly remember!! When all said and done!! It’s just a game
You’ll do fine my friend , i hope that helps.
xXx Lc xXx

_________________
A smart man can tell you how the world works; a wise man can tell you why.

Hey John, if you ever come to tucson we can sarge. I have a g/f but i can open some sets for you and help if you stumble at all. I'll even let you AMOG me.

Hey man. It sounds like you are giving up before you even started. You have tried it 2 timesand it didnt work. I crash and burned about fifty times before I got it right.

The other thing I see is that you definately do not seem to like yourself. Why is that? Your size and your cleanliness might be a problem but its not something unachievable. You just have to make it top priority. Its not that easy I know but it has to feel important to you.
Getting a feeling of being clean and whole is a start. From there it will be easier. You dont need anybodys permission to feel good. You dont need to be good to feel good.

Think of it like this, you are not pathetic. How many people do you think have the exact same problems and never ever thought about doing anything about it. They are the losers! At least you are changing!

Hang in there!

I'm going to direct you this link:
and-you-thought-looks-mattered-vt20942.html

Although looks help, you can go without them.

I would recommend picking up the book called "The Stylelife Challenge" also by Neil Strauss. The only reason I am recommending this is because you have a friend who is also wanting to get into pickup, and without a friend there is no motivation to stick with the 30 days worth of material.

too true. either mystery or style, can't remember specifically, say PUA is like a video game. you die, or crash and burn, start over.

i appreciate everybody's input, i do need to remember that it's just a game and i'd be much happier goin out there and just doing it instead of sitting at home.

_________________
Peace,

Love John

"The cure for one-itis, PUAs like to say, is to go out and have sex with a dozen other girls- and then see if this flower is still so special." Style

It is just a game if you allow it to be just a game. It is also a way to self improvement. I take this shit seriously, it is not just a game to me.

Well said. What you need to do is be positive and don't think negatively, try being up beat about things and life in general. If you surround yourself with positive energy positive things will happen. If you're finding it hard to like yourself how do you expect of people to?

The only thing that has ever given any long term weight loss is changing your habits... Everything else is just short term.