Hey this fresko and im 23 years old. I'm a college student and I should be meeting lots of girl no? well im very quiet and i dont know how to go about and go approaching groups with out me feeling weird/nervous. uhmm I think my self image and how i perceive myself have a lot to do with this one.

Well I'm over weight, so that makes me self conscious. I have style but i feel i can only pull off certain things off( because of the weight). i'm at the point all i do is wear black dickies, slacks, and hoodys because of my rolls lol(and i think it make me look thiner). To go out i always wear a blazer to look thiner.
i'm just tired of this, can some one relate? I'm working out but it's a work in process.

I have gym thing covered i've seen some changes. Any suggestions or advice on the social and pysch. part ?

bump

bump

Hey fresko,

Good on you for realising there's still stuff you need to sort out. Hitting the gym will definitely improve your confidence. If you can, try and open up to mates about the issue. I honestly have 2 mates that I can have a heart to heart with over this and it definitely helps. Hope it all works out for you.

Keep up with the gym but honestly I wouldn't worry about the weight, learn to be comfortable with other aspects of yourself and chicks will dig it. I'm overweight too and working on that but I've been noticing that if I just act like there's nothing wrong with me, women really don't care. Learn to be the you that you want to be, be unique and charming and the weight doesn't matter. Most women are just as self conscious as you are, if you learn to disarm that and you approach with confidence you'll become infinitely more attractive in their eyes. If you're comfortable in your own skin they'll be comfortable with you. Just my two cents.

Fresko, brother, I can attest from experience that looks matter nil. The gym is a great help, so keep it up, but it's all about how you carry and present yourself! Look around at some of the gurus of the world, and look at how many of them are actually pretty low on the GL scale.
Good luck with all your sarges, fate is waiting for you

~T.H.

_________________
The bravest thing that men do is love women

If your weight is bothering you, KEEP GOING TO THE GYM, I'm Proud of you!

Looks may not really matter at all, but they sure as hell affect your state!

If you feel good, you convey you feel good, if you feel shitty, you will not perform well- stick that in your field report and smoke it!


A lot of people are trying to change what they wear. If you remember I believe the pickup artist season 1, who ended up coming in third. If my memory serves me correctly, it was Joe or something, the bigger dude, and he rocked it for a while.

IF you are going out in the nightclub/bar scene, you may want to look and model how Joe dressed, Mystery did a good job there.

I do have to tell you, I HATE SWEATPANTS AND SWEATSHIRTS!

They may cover unwanted adipose tissue, however they do not look sharp. If you are sitting around your house and you want to relax, sure, but if you are going out wearing a hoodie, I have to say you could do better. You must look classy, fix your hair, buy a pleather jacket for 40 bucks, some striped shirts FROM TOP TO BOTTOM, they are slimming, try wearing more black.

As for the black slacks, not a bad choice, but some baggy yet fitted legnthwise jeans are in order, dark jeans are in and are classy.

Do you remember fat joe?, E-40 the rappers? THEY GOT TONS OF ASS because theey are ballers, not because they are good looking.

Good luck man, best of wishes, and keep going to the gym, I lost 35 lbs and I feel the difference, I am lighter on my feet (literally haha)

-Spice

_________________
wix.com/djapplejacks/getanygirl
Soon to be www.getanygirl.co.nr

I want to Start A Project Hollywood, anywhere.
I currently live in Chico, CA and travel down to The BAY often.

I'm overweight myself too. In fact I am kind of obese. To be perfectly honest, like everyone said weight and looks don't matter. But you know, there will always be some girls who will have problem with your looks, heck there will be some girls who will have problems with how Brad Pitt looks too. You can't help it and it shouldn't bother you. Just move on.

Not caring about your looks is important. However, it that's easier said than done. The fact that you pretend you don't care, you are actually focusing on them, and that's going to affect your state, which will come across as lack of confidence.

What has helped me however is knowing that I'm working towards a healthier body and not abusing my body by eating junk food. The fact that I'm taking care of my body and will reach my weight loss goal if I stay on this path helps my overall state. I know that I'm being honest to myself and my desires.

Also, like PuaSpice said, "dressing sharply helps". Don't fall into the BS advice that weight loss gurus will give you about not spending money on clothes since you are losing weight.

Go ahead and shop smartly and buy cheap clothes which will make you look sharp if you can. It will definitely help your state. I've been particularly guilty of this.

I used to think grooming and dressing well didn't matter. But they do, for your own state. If you feel good about yourself, that will show.

One last thing I'd like to say is, when you are with a girl or with people in general, focus on the moment, and have fun (banter, tease, etc) or meaningful (genuinely listen to them and connect). Just let it go and this will make you forget about your looks. Your charming personality will shine, and girls will see that too.

Focusing on improving other areas of life will have the same effect too.

Hope this helps.

i agree with spice. u shouldnt let your weight hold you back, but feeling better definately will help. as for the gym, dont go expecting results because you will start looking for them, instead turn it into an activity you enjoy and do it for your wellbeing. one day you will look in the mirror and think "shit i look good" but if u are looking everyday thining "shit i loook bad" you wont get that sudden realisation and MASSIVE confidence boost that comes with it. (it wont take that long dont worry, a few months)

If you are worried about your weight, just check out The Pickup Artist. In season 1 Joe D. makes it to third and he is over weight. Look at Neil Strauss (Style) before he became a PUA. Looks arent the biggest thing. Keep going to the gym. You can do it.

_________________

Seriously man if weight is an issue for you then try a 0 carb or low carb (probably start with 0 carb for the first two weeks) and stock up on meat/proteins.

I was 110kg when I started and have lost 10kgs in 10 weeks.

My self confidence is now thru the roof and it's only 10kgs!!!!

Besides knowing that looks don't really matter for a woman, looks really only count for your inner game, so even if you could lose a couple of kilos, your inner game will get better which will become even more attractive to women!

Good luck bro, I wish you the best! Keep us posted on how you go!

Cya
Encoder

Dood, rock on for your efforts man, I'm still looking to improve my sharpness, so slowly I'll get there

We're all on the journey, feels good to know were all in the same boat

Cya
Encoder

Hey brother. I do agree that looks don't matter as much as we think to women. However, being a former fat kid, I can attest that if you're in shape it makes it so much easier. I'm not at all saying not to accept yourself or be confident because you're currently overweight. I am saying that being in shape will heighten your confidence and will naturally attract more females. Just like when a girl with small tits, even though she is confident, will get even more attention if she got implants. Trust me, in my experience, everything in life falls into place if you are training hard.