Hey,

I just got out of a very long, first love type relationship. The girl said she loves me very much but I have some confidence problems and that I need to work on them. I realized that this is very true and it is a problem that I need to address now, which is why I joined this forum. I want to gain confidence in myself in regards to women and other parts of life, and I know that being able to successfully talk to and be with girls will help that.

Fortunately I am not starting with nothing. I have been told I am very good looking. I am very smart and I have a nice body. I just don't know how to talk to girls and have only slept with a few. I want to be able to talk to them with no problem anywhere I want to.

What are the best resources to start with? Again, I have been out of the dating for the 4 years I have been with my girlfriend.

Hi Softeyes,
I think confidence is the biggest stumbling block for most r/AFCs (myself included!!) Personally I'm ok with public speaking and chatting with Girls that are friends/ work collegues, It's when I actually have feelings for a girl and want to ask her out / escalate that I feel like I literally have someone piling stress on top of me. An example of this is the following that happened to me recently. I've had feelings for a girl I work with for a few months, she was single, I thought we were getting on well but i just couldn't build up the courage to ask her out, even just in a social way. Anyway i found out a couple of weeks ago she's started seeing someone and they're moving in together. it hurt me badly, seriously. If any good has come of this it's that its forcing me to take action (as appears to be the case with you too). I've been looking into NLP to try and boost my confidence. a company called NLP creations is holding a free (well £10 reg. fee) seminar in february that I'm intending to attend. I cant post you the link as this website wont allows newbies to post addresses. but put NLP creations into the search engine and it should pop up. I'd also recommend looikng up a guy called Matthew Hussey, he has a lot of free stuff on youtube and a website too. both of these work with Gambler (Richard La Ruina) so they should be pretty good.
let me know how you get on, this is an area I really want to get sorted in my life, So I'd be interested to know how much success you have yourself.
p.s I don't think there's a magic bullet for curing this, believe me I've looked. lol

Well man, I'm sorry to hear that your relationship ended. Look at this as the start of a new world for you.

Ya, it will take some time to get used to dating again, but take it from me, the only way to get used to it is to get out there and do it. There are plenty of people teachers out there that can help you learn how the interaction should go: Gambler, Vin Dicarlo, Mystery, Style. All of these guys are great and can give you plenty of material.

Don't worry it will come back to you. As far as confidence goes, when you are able to open, talk to, and have choices with women, it will come.

Best of luck with everything