I used to be great with girls till I met one that wrecked me. Dated her for 8 months then we broke up but still got frisky now and then through spring semester, summer, and now through fall semester. At first I was able to hold my cool, but I realize now after she cut me off I had little control in the matter. I woke up this morning with the sinking reality that not only did she wreck me, but I let it happen. I had a vision with her an another guy that actually happened and it's killing me.

Honestly I feel terrible right now and I can't feel like this again, I refuse to. I'm not confident and I've sunk into my own world, filling all of my time with working out and nothing else. I need to regain the power over my life. I was at a party last night and didn't talk to any girls despite noticing them looking at me throughout the night. I want the ability back to attract not necessarily every girl, but the majority of the ones I find attractive.

I really feel like sh** right now and could use some help. Can someone please help me pick myself back up so I can return the favor to girls?

Stop whining and start working you pussy!

Use your past as a motivator to work even harder.

_________________
Don't let no one get you down. Keep moving on higher ground.
Keep flying until, you are the king of the hill.
No force of a nature can break, your will to self-motivate.
She says this face that you see, is destined for history.

A fellow man comes to you in need from a problem that the majority of men have experienced at one time in their life, and instead of helping him up, you knock him down? What the fuck is your problem dude? While I May not know much about girl to guy interaction yet, I do know that for bro to bro conduct, that was seriously not cool. However, your advice about re-framing the negative experience into a motivator was dead on... in fact I completely agree... just don't kick a fellow man when he's down. If we can't trust each other, who can we trust?

mjorkk,

Truth hurts, get used to it.

This is a Pick Up forum. If the guy wants to talk about his former relationship struggles seriously, it's best to seek a therapist.

And Square1,

I may sound a little bit harsh, but I'm not your mum you know. I only want you to get back to work and start picking up girls again.

_________________
Don't let no one get you down. Keep moving on higher ground.
Keep flying until, you are the king of the hill.
No force of a nature can break, your will to self-motivate.
She says this face that you see, is destined for history.

No hate mate I know where you're coming from and I thank you for it, I really don't have anyone to kick my ass into gear when I need it. I really do need to get my act into gear, I was so much better a year ago and I loathe where I am at now, I really gotta get my act together you know?

you could totally use the eight month relationship as a DHV (A natural that I know always throws in something to do with his ex fiancee when hes talking to girls). Also DAFS inner game you probably need to work on it.

@ burbz. Please explain, what do you mean by using it as a DHV? And what is DAFS inner game?

Being a PUA doesn't mean you are devoid of feelings, that's called a sociopath. Its natural to feel this way after you fall for a girl and it ends.

However, never sleep with her again if you know for certain its over between you two, it will just put you back in this position when she leaves again.

There are things you can do to work on your inner game. For example, you can think about the fact that she was not a virgin when she met you (if she was not), there were numerous guys BEFORE you, why should it matter that there are guys after you? There will be guys after the guy shes with now to most likely, so whats the matter?

You can think about the fact that she is clearly not bothered by whatever you do, since shes willing to do these things. Thus, realize she has taken a good deal of your power. Knowing there's a problem is the first step in changing it.

Be careful in using it with your game, anything you say must be conveyed in a non needy, non rebound, non sad way. If you feel really upset about this, and can't stop thinking about it, you might want to actually bring it up in any game with a new target to avoid the question coming up in conversation and you being off your guard.

Heck, you can incorporate it into an opener after getting a clear IOI at a bar:

PUA: "What are up to tonight?"
Target: "having a drink/hanging out/got done with work/hanging with my girlfriends/sister/etc... You?"

PUA: "Oh you know, girl broke my heart, but I think I'm already on the mend" said in a casual way, with a smile, adding a Kino will help convey that she is the reason for your mend, or:

"Girl broke my heart, but you must be a doctor cause I feel fine" said in a lighthearted and comedic way. Or:

"Girl broke my heart, but when I saw you I forgot her name. Whats your name/What did you say your name was?" Said in a casual, offhand way. Conveying (yeah there was a girl, but who cares, look at you!)

Things like that, then you've already mentioned it. If she presses for more information about the girl from that point its essential that you play it off, give her as little information as possible because you DO NOT CARE about this other girl, only your target. Also avoid playing it off in a negative way, don't call your ex a bitch or whore or whatever, just be respectful of her while giving as few details as possible. Also don't let the target know the girl went off with another man, you left HER, or it was not working out but, whatever, the night is young, lets drink to life!

Square1

Im in the exact same situation except for that our timing is a bit different. Me and my gf have been together for one year and one week after we broke up she made out with another guy.

I want to do things to this guy, not imaginable. But we have to control ourselves. Because as they just get one guy after another they move on and sadly dont care about you anymore.
We need to move on too.
I think we all agree that women have it easier to get new guys especially if they look decent and have something similar to intelligence.
But thats why we need to feel more self confident. Without that, you wont get any close to a woman.

Thank you for the excellent explanation. I actually went out last night with some friends and had a blast. Went over to bar/club place by my apartment and started dancing around. I couldn't believe I forgot how much fun dancing is. I'm def. pretty terrible but I do it to just have a blast and after about 20 min. I pulled a cute brunette in with me and it was the most fun I've had out in a long time. I could have pulled a k-close easy and possibly a f-close because she was really diggin' my kino on the dance floor and kept tellin' me stuff about her but I had to leave town early in the morning so I decided to leave.

I actually almost called my ex up but I called my boy instead because he knows my situation real well and callin' him up totally gave me that 4 min. break where I knew not to call her and now that I'm awake I'm so happy I didn't call her.

I really appreciate you guys being helpful and supportive like this, thanks a lot.

The fact that you were in a long term relationship is a DHV so long as your target believes that your ex is at a value equal or greater than her own, for example you mention that she was a bartender and your target assumes your ex was hot. Dont mention that she broke up with you, that's a DLV.

DAFS is an acronym from another forum (do a fucking search)
And as mentioned before get yer ass back in the game that's why your here right