Waring: Drunk Blogging...and many dots on the way...Im 21 i work and i kind of go to school..( its like an on and off relationship ) so i've kissed maybe 10 girls and had sex with 3 of those girls...i've never had a girlfriend...i've had chances but i was never into any of them enough...i think im kind of stuck up in a way..idk...tonight was my 21st B-day i went out with some of my fam to a club and i saw the last girl i slept with, with another guy...she was never really my gf..i went up to her to say hello and have some convo and acted like w/e but idk it still hurt alot we havent spoken in 3 or 4 weeks i dont remember how long, but it was just like 1 day we talked and the next day we werent talking anymore..all i was thinking was that she thinks he's better then me...that IM not as good as HIM...idk... now im home its 3 am and i feel so sad like a depressed kind of thing...jus thinking i'll do anything to make me feel better( which rite now im thinking write in this forum)... anyway i just want to better my life... be a more social person, i want a gf but i dont want to settle for anyone ( you know what i mean)...i feel i allways have my guard up except when im drunk or tipsy...even then i just act like a stupid drunk and not really myself...why cant i just be myself all the time...ARGGG its so simple yet so difficult...anyways tonight SUCKED and im here complaining like a little bitch but a baby must cry to get fed..so im asking you guys please help me..please please please i want this so bad not because i want to feel superior but because i want to feel equal...i want a happy life filled with friends and family that VALUE me that when they see me walk in the room, their like "hey he's finally here"...you know what i mean...and submit...