| so, i guess it's time to tell you all about my life and why i'm here.
first off, i'm not putting my name on here. i don't need my real-life identity crossing streams with my identity here, so i'm just luminova.
i became fascinated by the idea of pickup artists a few years ago. consider me to have been at rock-bottom (and thus far, i haven't gotten much higher). it's like something has been broken in my personality (or rather, just never put there in the first place). it's like i'm missing some core piece of code, that i just have not been able to get girls attracted to me. it drove me into a complete depression. i'm the one who cursed and beat my head against the wall whenever i read the phrase "looks don't matter, it's personality that girls cared about" because that meant i was royally screwed (in the bad way). i frantically sought answers and went to counseling (yeah, all the help <b>that</b> did for helping my dating life). i tried hooking up with girls at parties. i was lost. my sticking point (well, to me, i've got enough sticking points to have a sticking <u>line</u>) is approach anxiety. i went through all the mental energy to override it, and then approached several girls, just to fizzle out. that re-installed my approach anxiety, worse than before, because now i have to KNOW i have something to follow up with after starting a convo with them. i liken it to relaxing, meditating, breathing deeply, repeating thousands of affirmations, working past my fear, and then placing my hand down on the red-hot burner. i knew i needed massive amounts of help.
and at that beginning, i simply could not bring myself to use pickup tactics, as they seemed completely unethical and contrary to what i believed in. of course, those would be the same beliefs that dragged me down and tormented me day and night for years. f&$# them; i see the light now - pickup artists. i'm reading every piece of trustworthy PUA material (well, i don't want to learn <i>wrong</i> now do i?) and looking for a workshop to attend.
i will go with immersion, just like learning a foreign language: reading, listening, surfing the net, on nothing but pua stuff when i'm not in the field.
i'll be around
- luminova
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>>> ascend to the next level
~Luminova~
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CHAT