Man, I hate to come on here and talk about my wussiness. But I have literally no one to talk about it to. Phew.

Right now I feel that I'm one of those people that tells the world their problems and story, but normally I'm not that person. I hold it all in.

Psychologistst don't "get it"

Councellors don't "get it"

Close friends don't "get it"

And most everyone around you...

they just don't "get it"

I don't know if I'm going against forum rules, read them and I hope what I'm writing's all right. Yeah, I feel desperate.

Please allow me to introduce myself...

So far I don't have a name, but I'm calling myself "needoutofwussiness". I mean, that's where one starts, you might agree.

I'm Billy.

And yep being Billy has always carried that feeling of wussiness, of "lil' Bill" or "Little Billy".

I heard it once said, "The Boy Must Die", and that's what I'm here for.

For God's sakes, I have a beautiful 15 month old boy that I never want to experience what I've had to go through with girls/women. If I don't change who I am first, he will probably live up to his social pre-disposition.

It's so hard dealing with the connotation I have when it comes to being an artist or being creative. Often "creatives" and artistic people tend to have this wussiness about them. I hate that and I have to often think about how you don't have to be artistic and a wussie.

Well that's me, I'm creative... and I love writing, reading, guitar, music, art, poetry, psychology, evolutionary psychology, history, football, beer, food, coffee. (I wrote a song called "The Coffee House Wuss!)

Maybe I'll play it for you.

And oh, All my life, I've loved women!

I just couldn't get any.

My way of picking up was the usual socially taught techniques that get you a key to the City of Niceguyville!

Isn't that swell!

After agreeing to not conform to the norms of society, I've decided that I want to be very financially abundant. The reason is because I want that mindset and the freedom to do what I want.

I also want to raise my son to know that he can succeed and he doesn't have to listen to these silly ideas like "job security" or "401-k".

People have always told me to pretty much settle. (for mediocrity)

So I am looking to be an investor, and am at the moment beginning with online businesses.

My dreams are to enjoy this life while I have it and become the Alpha Male, But....

I really would like to help some other people when and as I get there.

All the time, I see fellow wussies and I know all about what they're going through. I even have a friends that kind of pass off the idea of "picking up" as a bunch of something you see on TV. Or it's something on a video.

Again, social programing, agree?

For a few months I recieved a newsletter from this guy named David Deangelo. Then I finally started paying more attention to it and eventually bought a course from him.

Slowly I started implementing the techniques in different social situations. I was very scarred from the constant emotional twists of hope and then rejection.

And then seeing these girls that meant so much to me with "that guy" in the wife beater.

But things were changing because what I started practicing was giving me different results than what I'd experienced before.

Girls stuttered, blushed. And even one that didn't like me anymore, texted me 23 minutes after I did some game on here. These were all just small things.

But then something happened in the middle from my transition from beta to alpha... I got stuck. And I no longer evolved. In fact, I devolved.

So now, most of what I know is only in theory. It never got internalized and a part of me.

Just yesterday, I stumbled upon Mystery on Youtube and I just couldn't watch it. I got so low over the past 3 years, that just watching Mystery pick up women triggered my natural hard-wired response of...

...you know, that feeling you get when alpha male is getting your special girl, the one you love so much.

Do you realize, especially if you're the type that really wants to marry and have a family...

Do you realize that you won't be the man you want to be, the strength your woman/family needs... unless you get this part of your life resolved?

Hopefully I can pick up from my 3 year hiatus. Right now it's hard to believe in myself, but I want to rise above it. That's why I found this forum.

Thanks for reading this lengthy intro. I look forward to giving back whatever possible, to help some others as well.

Billy

I don't know if you wanted constructive criticism on what you wrote or not
but I just kept having something pop into my mind when I was reading
half-way down the page...

If you have de-evolved, have you tried re-reading all the material that you
have bought from David DeAngelo??? Sometimes re-reading and going over
material is the best cure for picking yourself back up again.

Just felt like I needed to mention this as some people never think about the
obvious until it is way too late for them.

_________________
| NLP eBooks etc | SEDUCTION eBooks etc |
| Sexual Decoder System (Yes, that one) **PDFs / Videos** |
I have reviewed A LOT of PUA books, videos, etc. I only upload the ones that have the best information.

I don't know. I just let it all out man. Didn't want to come across as a crybaby or anything, but I just want to say, that's me and it's where I'm at now. Weakness can trigger bad emotions with people.

I could have the tendency to try and hide myself and fake it, but i thought that doing that would be kinda.. well fake.

This is something that is recent, within weeks and my DYD stuff is in storage. I'll soon be getting it out again, if it doesn't get tossed.

When I said I de-evolved, I mean the things I was getting used to doing before, and the mindset, and my behaviours disappeared.

For example, I conciously made a point to walk and sit in certain ways, and I began to do it without even thinking about it.

Now though, I just walk around like my old self. Like I said, I know it in theory, but I have to get rolling again.

Thanks for the reply.