hey guys hows it going?... now im new to this whole forum thing and im still getting use to it, i have a number of questions and dont know where to start... im not pathetic with girls... as a matter of fact im better then quite a few ( i tihnk, or at least so ive been told) .. but there is room for improvement... i need to learn to be cool around the girl i want, theres nothing more annoying then knowing u have the courage to go forward but als o the fear that holds you back...... i need some advice ..im terrible at sarging becasue fo this fear, is it juts practice and a lack of shame?

First, what exactly is your fear? Rejection? And what do you mean by being cool? Like comfortable? and calm? listen more than you talk, think about what you say before you say it. Is it pointless, does it create negative thoughts? Does it decrease your value? Does it make you sound like everyone else?

anti-seductive behavior- complaining, talking to much, vulgarnes, being boring, being too critical, being cheap, neediness, and lack of self confidence.

Rid yourself of all those negative qualities and your "coolness" around women will dramatically improve.

Always keep conversation positive, because you are what you talk about.

if you always talk about the negative things in life, you become a negative person, and when people think about you, they relate you to negativity. that's no good.

thats exactly what i mean.. some girls have told me that i am attractive and that i shouldnt worry as much... but ive always been like that, especially when i was younger... i need to multiply my confidence some how... i know i have what it takes .... i also have the cocky/funny thing going on ..... i try not to complain either, because i know how much it annoys me ..... what would be the best way to wash away these anti-seductive behaviours? how did u guys do it?

you make it happen. you just always THINK before you say something. think of how it will sound, what emotion will it convey, how someone will react to it. practice. a lot. talk to everyone. if your at a store buying some clothes, talk to the female clerks. even if they arn't hot or even if they're the hottest. don't try to take them into the dressing room and fuck them...at least not yet...just practice talking. most of it is confidence.

If you're at a music store, and a girl is looking at the same cd's you are, say hi. maybe it'll start a conversation, maybe not. but atleast you're building the confidence to talk to strangers, and understanding no one is going to say "WHAT THE FUCK are you talking to me for?" well, occasionally some bitch with an attitude might say that, but who cares? by then it won't even matter.