Hey all.
As you can see, new user here from UK. This is my first post, so be gentle.
A little background and then a question.
From the age of 16, I was i a relationship with my college sweetheart, but it was not to be. We split up about 1 year ago after 17 years. Since the I have been recovering and thinking about where I am. I am confident to some degree, but not to the extent I want to be and have decided to do something about it.
My biggest issue is that I am shy around people that I do not know in social situations. I over-analyse and make things worse for myself because of this. There may be other factors involved, but I think this is the biggest and I have set myself the task of correcting it.
I recently went on holiday and picked up a copy of 'The Game'. To be honest, it was more of something to read, rather than the insight I realised it would give me. I have not yet finished it, but I have lots of ideas already of where to go next. This is what led me here, for what I hope is a fascinating journey.
So, that's a little about me, and again, hello.
Now my question.
Although I am no way near where I want to be, I am quite an intelligent person and realise that with practice and a few (read lot) of pointers, I can make steps in the right direction.
Anyway, I went shopping today for a new Jacket and other things. One of the items was a new cologne. In the shop, there was a lovely young lady and although I didnt strictly use the 3-second rule to approach her, I did use it to decide to formulate an opener. I went to the fragrance counter and got a selection of samples on the cards they give out and trotted back down to the place where I saw her. She was actually standing talking to a co-worker and usually, this would have stopped me there and then.
I work out and the old saying "no pain,. no gain" sprang to mind and I walked over and proceeded to have a short conversation regarding which fragrance she preferred. While I appreciate that the finer points of how I asked could have been better, I did it. She made a comment to me that she was "always right and I should buy that one". Straight away, I gave her back "Sorry, I cant believe you are always right" as what I hoped was a neg.
Walked back up to the counter and bought said fragrance. To my surprise, it came with a free bag. Nothing something that I could use, but I thought I could give it to the young lady I had been talking to downstairs. I asked the salesperson to sign the receipt that it was free give and confirm there would be no problems in handing over a gift to someone in the store, she said no.
Back downstairs and I walked straight up to her and said she was right and handed over a nice D&G bag. I explained that i had sorted it with the lady upstairs and she should have no problems. A massive smile appeared on her face and I returned the compliment. At this point I said to have a nice day and goodbye.
So, my first attempt didnt go anywhere near as bad as I thought it would and I was quite proud of what I did with my limited experience and confidence. I certainly would not have done this 1 week ago, before i started reading that book.
Walking back to car with a huge smile on my face, I couldnt help analyse, but after the fact has got to be better than before or during. My biggest concern is that I could have kept the conversation going, but realise this is down to confidence and will come in time. I also thought that perhaps I should have stuck my number on the validated receipt and left it in with the bag.
So, my question is, what would you have done? Call me a sponge, ready to take advice and put it into practice. So be mean, be critical, i'm just curious.
Thanks
CHAT