Hi everyone. 35-year old evolutionary biologist, brand new to Big University City USA, just moved here to be a researcher and professor. Historically have attracted women into long-term relationships through conventional dating. I'm highly educated, considered good looking, shouldn't have any problems with picking up women casually or otherwise, but I do nonetheless.

I'm single for the first time in years and years. Going back out there is a bit rough. Massive approach anxiety and big-time problems closing the deal or moving from great conversation to getting physical. Frequently get the feeling that I'm a source of sexual frustration for women! (which is ironic, and incredibly irritating!)

I'm surrounded by women much younger than me and never quite sure how to handle the age thing. Women in their 20s usually assume that I am also in my 20s. But then in conversation they do the math. Sometimes I lie and sometimes I just tell them straight up. Neither has helped me much, is my guess.

I read "The Game" and found it useful. I can't say I use many routines, though. Not sure I need to- at least not in the first 80% of the interaction...

My goal, frankly, is to start getting with some of these beautiful women! I think I have 80% of the skillset already, but that last 20% is killing me.

As I think about it, I'm probably not great at flirting unless the girl is really aggressive, obvious, flirtatious, etc., herself. Fixing that might be the key.

I am attractive enough that some aggressive girls throw themselves at me but I would like to select what *I* want rather than just taking what is thrown my way. Most of my Ex-gfs were very aggressive.

No one that saw me on the street would ever dream that I would need to post in here.

Hope this is a decent intro.

With aggressive you mean that they were leading alot more than other women.

I think that one of your problems is that you don't lead enough.
Try to wake up your funny and energized side of yourself by yourself.

_________________
There is NO secret ingredient. Theres just you.

You might be right-on with that suggestion. I'm new to town so it's hard to 'lead' in a lot of ways (like where we should go, do, etc).

When I say 'aggressive' I mean they made it so obvious they wanted to sleep with me that coming onto them hardcore involved no anxiety at all. No risk.

If there's the slightest risk- if even part of me is unsure (or simply anxious), then I don't do the come on. It's totally lame.

Is that what you mean?

(The problem is enough girls have gotten drunk and just thrown themselves at me and it's made me lazy and unskilled).

Like I said, you don't have the balls to lead before you know that she will follow.

Get rid of this belief.

Check this out:
how-to-practice-socializing-and-becomin ... highlight=

_________________
There is NO secret ingredient. Theres just you.