Hey all, I’m Nirodha and am in here from Peoria, IL.
First heard of the game in 2009 when I found Mystery’s book on audio. Later that year found “The Game” and used the material to prop up an already failing marriage to a woman with whom I didn’t want to be wed. She was pretty attractive, I had always wanted her from a far in high school, we were both fairly shallow at the time... and in our late 20’s, in 2006, feeling the pressure of society’s dream, I got out of the US Navy and we got married. In 2012 I divorced her and began to practice some of the pua material on a rudimentary level.
From 2012 up to now it has been a cycle of the following:
1. Begin practicing pickup, my more confident, dominant side comes out, and within a month or so, get a girl.
2. I have some yet-to-be identified deficiencies which come out in a relationship within 4mo to a year... relationship begins to slide.
3. An incident will happen which I find frustrating, and I breakup with my GF.
4. Repeat cycle.
Since 2012 I have begun to build a spirituality based on buddhist ideals and about a year ago have started avidly with Zen philosophy.
I am a software developer and happy to share this, or any other knowledge to others. I enjoy the synergy that comes when motivated people come together.
I am a natural extrovert. Given my lack of practice & pua skill development (lacking in timing, social intelligence being average or less, and knowing few routines), find more direct game to be where I have settled.
I am passionate, always have been, about damn near everything and so to a fault. Currently I am in my 5th year of weight training and 3rd year of jiu jitsu. Mostly jiu jitsu nowadays and still getting the basics down (still a white belt). I used to lift more than train jiu jitsu and it showed in my lack of progress with the latter. This year I started getting serious about jiu jitsu and train about 4-5 times a week. Lift 1 to 2 times a week. I enjoy training others and helping other guys grow, get strong, and evolve.
I recently screwed up another relationship (same cycle as outlined above). I want to break the cycle. I admit that I need (or just strongly want) some help and guidance with women. This has brought me to the forums.
My goals are:
- to get this area of my life (i.e. women and high social competence) squared away.
- progress in jiu jitsu to the upper ranks within three years.
- pass these skills to my boys.
The spirituality thing has opened my heart, and with it an internal conflict about being kind and giving vs what I have come to believe that a kind giving man will get dominated in a relationship (I am sure it’s not that simple, but I have a distortion here around it and could use some assistance).
I don’t know what I don’t know... and some thing s I think i know... I suspect to be incorrect and holding me back.
The thought of going out by myself and just cold approaching is scary as hell, and so I feel that is a place to begin. Would be great if others in IL would want to meet up and go out to game.
Right on, good to be here.