Hello Gentlemen,

I'm a 38 year old IT professional recently separated (Ney Years Day, 09, in fact). I live in the Cleveland area and I have to say that even though I initiated it, separation is rough.

I'm not experienced in the pick up art at all, but women (3 different ones in last 2 months) recently have taken the opportunity of my new singlehood to let me know that I am an attractive man -and have hooked up with me. No strings attached. So I'm no slouch, ego aside. But I am feeling an increasing sense that this is THE time for me to get my act together with women. I have a number of things going for me and I want to take full advantage of them. I dont want to let this vibe I have running now go to waste, and I am looking forwad to the challenge of learning the pick up art.


NOTE: I changed my forum handle from VicariousLee to Impuls on March 25, 2009
(I needed an identity redesign!)

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"Do not follow to where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hello, and welcome to the forum! You sound a lot like me down to the job and everything but I'm only 27. You will find a lot of useful assets on the forum to use to get better with women.

I wish you luck on your journey.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Lee, I see your profile pic, does it have any significance or is it just a random one you could find?

Thank you for the welcome, JSmooth. I surfed around and this seemed to be the most serious of the PUA sites around. I've already found some great advice and looks like the members here are helpful too. If I can alo contribute my newb experiences and observations and help others I'd like that opportunity!

And, Yes Prince Capri! It's very significant to me. That is James Dean from a poster of the cover for the biography "Boulevard of Broken Dreams". Theres a quote by him that I've taken to heart these past couple months, and it's sort of become my motto and my mantra:

"Dream as if you'll live forever...live as if you'll die today."

That goes with what I am saying about how important it is to not waste my life today while I have everything going for me. Opportunity and potential like this should not be wasted.

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"Do not follow to where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Aha

Well, what I see is this man, in a long overcoat, drenched in rain, standing alone. The image projects solitude and lonliness, and a fear of something. Yet at the same time, the will to stand up against something, not aggressively, but just so as to have given up on the consequences and not care anymore.

The analysis is pretty useless, and perhaps off-track, but its an interesting pic to be seen in a PUA forum. This is something I would associate with a deep-thinking AFC.

Anyways, welcome, and hope you find what you need.

hahah, Prince! Thank you for the analysis. You really arent too off the mark, there. I've been standing up to my lonliness since separation, and I am a heavy thinking, solitary guy generally. I'm not so cocky and aggressive as other PUA students, but I have confidence. Maybe thats just my style, maybe thats a tool I can us in a PUA bag of tricks, or maybe that's my sticking point. I'll have to experiment and see.

-But ya, this "James Dean" loner attitude does seem it will keep an AFC down where he's at in his head unless he cools it and moves forwad and gets social. Thanx for that honest observation, thats something I think I'll need to take a good look at.

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"Do not follow to where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've been thinking, I need to replace this image I have of myself. Maybe a change in avatar and forum handle would be the first steps...

_________________
"Do not follow to where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Changed my handle from VicariousLee to Impuls and found a suitable avatar to match. Thank you for the observation, Prince.

_________________
"Do not follow to where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hi,
I have to admit that I am pretty much in the same boat as yourself. 38, got divorced 2 years ago and had a fling lasy year but that has been about as much as I have goten into since the divorce.
Due to having the kids every couple of weeks at weekens I can´t get out on a Saturday night more than a couple of times a month.
I go out on my own on a Saturday night and fuck it is a lonely place!!! I just don´t seem to be getting anywhere at the moment. But on another post, someone told me that the first three months don´t really add up to anything anway.
Anyway, I notice that if nothng else, the simple act of walking up to girls and attempting the cold approach is having effects on my life. At work, I feel more confident but that isn't enough. I want to develop my skills and become much more socially adept.
anyway, when you are on your own it is OK but I think that the 3 second rule is cool. Otherwise you really do end up leaning against the wall with the beer in your hand feeling like an AFC.
Now the goal for me is to start using openers and above all stop thinking so much about it. I spend hours thinking about it and then see a couple of babes in the park and shit myself at the thought of talking and getting blown off.
Anway, good luck to you.
Mr E

I've been working to defeat my AA by speaking to Anyone -at the grocery store, etc, and letting what rolls off the top of my head (no matter how irrelevant) become the opener for the conversation. It dies and I let it go since I'm not committed to moving forward with any of these women but I really found that just *doing it* is enough to help get myself over my approach anxiety. It's good practice.

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"Do not follow to where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hello,
yeah, it is a good idea. just being a more sociable person. talking about AA, I was reading in Strauss's book about the idea of "getting blown off just for a laugh" also it is mentioned in Mystery's idea, of going out with the intention of getting blown off on every set. Strauss mentions that if you have any social issues then getting rejected a whole bunch is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.
I am inclined to believe this is so, although at the time, yes that horrible moment when you realise that the babe just isn´t swallowing any of your shit, and she is just about ready to demostrate her left hook is just as good as yours. then it doesn´t feel so groovy.
after the first few unsuccessful approaches on saturday night I found myself in a differnt bar and a metre or so away from a nice girl. I was fighting every inch of the way to just make that move and approahc but bottled out thinking that I wouldnt have anything to say and she would blow me off anyway, next time I am going to work out more interesting stuff to do so I don´t automatically assume failure.

No worries Impuls (Lee). I did like the other one, from a purely psychological point of view...gavemore to think and talk about.

Now all I see is an IT professional

Good luck fella (btw, I am in software line as well, and it can sometimes be boring to talk about my job. What I tend to do is lie that I am an artist, throw in a couple of negs, with a stick picture of the girl in question).

Anyways, nice to see a positive change.

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Anyone for sarging in Birmingham (or West Midlands)...gimme a shout.