Hey, everyone alright?

My main sticking points are:
- Being the nice guy
- Low confidence (improving)
- Being very quiet (especially in groups)
- Monotone voice
- Not speaking loud enough (although i can hear what i say fine, noone else can)
- also recently several people have said when they first met me they thought i was gay


I'll start by saying i'm the 'nice guy' type where I used to do everything and anything to make a girl happy to no benefit of my own, after being used a few times i've realised the error of my ways and am not as much of a walkover, but still need to get the hang of the word 'no'.

I generally think of everything from a third person view in a logical matter so I can see the trouble and problems I have and am now on a personal mission to change it all and gain the confidence and social skills I desire to gain a higher quality of life.

I'm very quiet and rarely think of anything interesting to say in most circumstances, most people i talk to i'll go into the usual questions about 'how're they doing... have they had a good day... what do they get up to etc', also if people talk to me I answer well but things usually die then as i don't continue the conversation with anything interesting.

I'm also still building on the confidence side to approach people but I believe i'm still hesitant because of the point above about not being interesting\ poor conversational skills.

I think this is a quality community and hope to learn a lot and improve dramatically so i can be helpful to others.

Cheers all.

Hey man I was right where you were at.
I was the nice guy, and realized it got me no where.
I had low confidence, but just after reading some material it has already gone up
Im still pretty quiet, depending on who I am around, and the mood I am in.
Just do alot of reading and hopefully you will see improvement very quickly.
Im still trying to improve myself, and hope to one day accomplish this
good luck

hey dude thanks for the reply. Iknow exactly what you mean being quiet depending on who's around and various moods. Reading up on it all helps loads though, i'm sure we'll both get there no probs.
Best of luck to you too mate.