I Know it is sorta long, but i am really opening up here, and I hope the community welcomes me...

Next year i will be a senior in high school, however I am not like most high schoolers. I do not "get laid" or even front like I do. Im not a total loser, but I would recieve about four or five hugs a YEAR while most guys my age get that many a day. In my social circle, I am well respected for everything except my ability to even talk to girls.

last year i became very depressed over this(among other things) and i tried to KILL MYSELf. . . Thank god i failed. I am much more stable now. Believe it or not, I was introduced to this stuff by a psychiatrist. I dont wish to become a master pua or anything like that(although it would be nice)-- i just want to be respected in this area by peers. It would also be nice to get a first kiss by the time i turn 18 . . .

My biggest problems are approach anxiety and confidence. Most people with approach anxiety get nervous approaching a girl, but i cant even look in a girls eyes! It is a reflex to look away and i cant stop it no matter what.

Any immiediate advice would really help. Thanks A lot!

-AFCtimes10

wow, respect for that shrink man

gl.

The two problems are interlinked, but can certainly be dealt with seperately (although in much the same way).

How long have you been into PUA stuff?

Okay, my stance on your situation:

This is easy to say, but it's your life - you make the rules. Only you can decide whether to allow yourself the freedom to change and let yourself be happy.

Seriously, scare yourself. The first sentence of the Venuasian arts handbook is something along the lines of "Nature will unapologetically weed your genes out of existence if you don't take action and learn how to attract women now." Carries a bit of a kick, right?

Right now, I would say ignore the approach anxiety. Do not worry about approaching girls just yet, but at the same time, do not use the next step as an excuse to put this off eternally.

1) delete any "feel-bad" music you have. Replace with something feel-good and higher energy. Music is like a global energy source and you can usually refuel yourself with this.
2) look into neuro-linguistic programming - you don't need to go in depth here, but understand the basic concepts and how it can help you.
3) write yourself some affirmations and repeat these to yourself constantly. Take a look around for something that fits you or write something of your own - ultimately you are telling yourself that you are strong, powerful and have the ability to take what you want in life. A girl deserves the chance to make a choice about you, and you are strong enough to allow her that choice, rather than walking by.
4) Work on the eye contact as this will be vital in the future - begin with the mirror, and make eye contact with yourself. Next use a friend or family member, or even your psychiatrist. Build yourself up through desensitisation until you are able to make eye contact with people in real life.

ok

just keep in mind, don't get so hung up on this whole "i have to do this and this by the time i'm this age"

bad trap to get into! you'll unneccessairily beat yourself up if you start doing that! (I've learned that the hard way).

The fact you haven't kissed a girl, don't beat yourself up on it too much. Its not a reflection on you as a person, coz anyone can, but just on your confidence within yourself. Give it time and DONT be disappointed even if you dont reach your goal when you turn 18-that feeling of inadequacy doesn't just disappear straight away!


As for me...
I'm on my way to a bootcamp woohoo! Gonna get ahead of the rest of 'em

Thanks this stuff is great. Ive only been in it about a month but ive been reading as much about it as possible.