ok so i just felt like a need to talk and write my shit down to someone, maybe just for myself but who knows, you guys here are doing the same thing so you will understand plus you want to change your life for the better to. so let's help each other out. we are all friends here.
so, you can call me 'thatdream' i'm 30 years old from a fuckin frezzing country right now called sweden. in short, i never really had any problems with the ladies, im doing alright. BUT! the big problem i've always struggled with is that i have always been so focused on what people think of me. i wanted to please everyone and everybody must like me. it could be freinds, co-workers, bosses etc. witch of course leads to NOT putting yourself out there, NOT approaching the ladies, NOT saying what you feel or what you like. i've learned that in my case, that was the core of not being successful with girls or any case in life, job etc.
when i turned 30 like 2 weeks ago i thought to myself. what the fuck i'm a doing? i'm missing out on so much fun. is this the life i wanna look back at when im old? fuck no. let's change. now. so the first thing i must learn is not giving a fuck. how do you do that? well, i don't know for sure yet. but this last week and last night i think i made a brake trough.
first things first, i wanna give credit to this awesome podcast (the daygame podcast) if you haven't heard it. i highly recommend it. great tips on how the get started and having the right mindset.
so, i'm a guy that have a full time job and don't go out and drink that much. so i can't wait for that night to go out. 1 time a week will not be enough to build up myself. so, i started right away. i have a pretty social job that makes me talk to a lot of people and customers. so i started to ask more questions to them. trying to push the boundaries a little, feel that little awkwardness and embrace that shit. joke around and trying to make them laugh. that was a great start! and with that i started to say 'hi' to every girl i made eye contact with on the street. super awkward at first. but after a few times it felt fun and rewarding. because half the girls will look at you and be like 'dafuq?' and that is totally fine! who is she really? she will forget me anyways in like 1 min and move on with her life. so why should i care what she thinks of me? and voila! i was starting to not give a fuck!
the week continued like that and last night (saturday) was the night i thought to myself that i need to put myself in super awkward situations to just feel that fear and fight trough it and come out stronger and more confident. my mindset? 'this night is going to be the must fun night ever!' big smile on my face i walked in the the bar with my friend. before i walked in i thought to myself 'if i see a hot girl i feel i really wanna talk to, i'm gonna do it. the more awkward the better' so a little later i see this super cute blond chick walk in with her friends and i thought, fuck. this is the one. this is it. i'm feeling that fear. that fuckin anxiety. the exact same feeling i was running away from in the past..
she sat down at a table with 4 of her girl friends. 'fuck me' a thought, this is really the hardest approach i have ever thought of doing. i really don't know what came over me, but for a second i honestly didnt wanna go talk to her. i just wanted to forget her and carry on with my night. 'NO! you big fuckin pussy' if you dont fuckin do this shit right now you are gonna take a big step backwards and stay in that comfort zone the rest of my life. so i took a deep breath and said, 'fuck it' i walked up to her with me yes locked on hers. i said 'excuse me' looking deep in her eyes. 'i just wanted to say that i really think you look amazing tonight' everybody on the table, dead silent and shocked. she blushed and started to giggle, 'well, thank you!' (honestly i really dont remember the rest in detail because i blacked out) but we continued to talk a bit and i invited her and her friends to come along with us to another club. they didn't really know what there plan was for the night so i just said, 'hey lets do like this, you guys think about it for a second and if you're down, im standing over there with my freinds' they smiled and agreed and continued with there night.
when i'm thinking about it after, i made some mistakes of course. because we didn't end up going to the same club etc. i should have number closed so we could hook up later and so on but. that didn't really matter to me. the feeling i had after that was the best feeling i have ever felt, i was walking on fucking clouds and the rest of the night went on like a breeze. i opened up to every girl a saw and just had a great time! joked around and was being my true self. truly not giving a fuck. that shit spreads out to everybody and the girls will see that, they will see that you are just a fun guy to be around. the night ended with and number close and a hot kiss with a really cute girl on the dance floor. try this one 'hey! you are a really good dancer! i think we should have a dance battle right now! i challenge you!! (start doing some silly robot moves) your in. on other words, best night i had in a long time. and i feel so good today. i wanna send that joy to you guys. so start with the small things, build up your confidence, and at the start of the night. do the hardest approach you see. believe me, it will work. sure, you will fell that you wanna shit your pants. but you will feel so good after regardless the outcome, and that feeling will stay with you for the rest of the night.
shit, this came out long. hope you guys enjoyed reading it. honestly i don't really care if you do or not. it just feel good writing it down
so..
you guys have any other good tips to maximize your confiedent etc ? any crazy experience? let's start not giving a fuck baby!
credit to 'the daygame podcast' 'rsdmax' and 'sasha daygame' you guys helped me out alot.
be 'that' dream
<3
CHAT