Hi. Still hope?



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 Post subject: Hi. Still hope?
PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:15 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:35 pm
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I'm 18 years old. New to PUA and the forum. I have been have been doing research on it for quite some time so I'm not that unfamiliar with it, but I have never practiced it out in the field.

As mentioned, I'm 18 years old and a virgin. I'm Awkward in real life, bad looking (2 or 3 out of 10 at max.) Never kissed a girl, never held a girls hand, haven't had a friend in 4 years, poor social skills, social anxiety to a degree. I live in a forrest and I need to drive about an hour to see 1 person. I'm anti-social and I hardly talk to people with my family as an exception. I can't improve my looks because it's the face, face shape, head shape and head size that is the problem.

So to my question.. Is this the worst starting situation / position in history of PUA? Look at these stats, anyone who started with similar or worse?


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 Post subject: Re: Hi. Still hope?
PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:26 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:12 pm
Posts: 88
Hey man,

Thanks for the candid post, that took balls.

Now you say you have social anxiety.. but if you're living in a forrest that's one-mile away from the next nearest person then some social anxiety would seem normal! Take anyone and put them into your situation, and after some time their social skills will deteriorate.

What you've got ahead of you is gonna require a lot of courage, so kudos on posting your troubles here, it's a good start.

I don't know your situation, but can you move to an area that puts you closer to people? What about school or college? What job do you do? Can you move with that to a new area?

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Your outward image:

Most people under-rate themselves and with a few changes in lifestyle they can really transform. This is especially true of an 18 yr old.

Start at the gym, both cardio and free-weights.

Better still, start a martial art (I recommend Brazilian Jiu Jitsu). This will put you face to face with a lot of different people, raise your confidence to levels that will shock you, and get your body totally jacked. Most guys that practice BJJ are awesome, and if there are any douche bags, you can refuse to roll with them.

Start yoga at a class, or at home. Posture plays a major role in your appearance! If you're a 5, good posture immediately makes you a 6.

Eat well. Mostly vegetables, fruit, rice, nuts and pulses. Make sure your diet has no more than 10% meat / dairy in it. This is great at combating teenage acne, and will get your body in better shape faster than a typical Westernised SAD diet.

Get a spray tan, better for your skin than direct sunlight.

If you can afford it, get a designer hair style. You'll be surprised at the difference a good hair cut can make.

Really good looking guys can ruin their chances with girls if they have bad personal hygiene so you can make sure that you smell like a Greek God!! (I assume Greek Gods smell pretty good haha). make sure your breath is minty fresh too.

Perhaps consider waxing if you have hairy shoulders... But this is subjective, if you feel it will make you feel better about your appearance then do it!

I know it's old news yadda yadda, but take a look at Neil Strauss's before and after picture, now what changes do you think you could make?:
(as I'm new I can't add a link to my post... so just google: neil strauss before and after)

Do you have a good pair of jeans, boots, white t-shirt and a leather jacket? If so, good, this is a really simple place to start with your fashion-sense.. as you get a feel for it you can add more interesting items that suit your personality type. DAMN, if I see a girl wearing the above in the right way, I love it. Simple is good :)

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Social anxiety and friends:

Well, you seem very open, and you were brave enough to list your insecurities to a group of strangers. So I think your head and your heart are in the right place. Next thing is... you need to become your own best friend. So what would a best friend recommend you do? Stop listening to yourself, and start listening to the inner-voice of what you imagine a best-friend would say to you. Someone who believes in you, has faith in you, and want the best for you.

As I don't yet know you. I'll just say that I think you need to move closer to people. Becoming socially calibrated in the forrest is... well, extremely challenging for anyone.

Stuff you can do in groups (by the way, most people are in groups because they have the same needs and worries as you have): join a band, join a video-game competition team (online or local), join a gym, start Jiu Jitsu :D, join a paintball team, join a cycling team. And on and on!! :) Trust me, you will be welcome at all of these types of groups.

If you want to talk to girls while you're so far away from people, try okcupid. It's free and a good place to goof around with girls and try out different methods of communication.

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My housemate totally turned his life around a few years ago. He was a bedroom gamer, rarely bathed (and reeked!), had no idea how to be social, was awkward in his own skin, balding, not very attractive, poor posture and low confidence with women.

Now, he has great posture, smells good, his confidence grows every time I see him. Really he went from a 3 to a 7 and he now dates a hot female friend of mine.

You can do it my friend!

_________________
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain


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 Post subject: Re: Hi. Still hope?
PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:52 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:12 pm
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One last thing. I lost my virginity at 18. I was sick of waiting around, so when I was invited to go to Spain with some people I took it.

This is where I learned to live in my own reality. It was an older girl and I just kept smiling regardless of the shit she threw at me. This won her over big time.

On the way back to the apartment, she wouldn't let go of me, stopping every 15 seconds to stick her tongue down my throat.

Back at the apartment we shagged (I'm English ;)). And afterward I told her I just "popped my cherry". She freaked out in a good way, and started hugging and kissing me like I was winning lottery ticket. It was a very sweet experience for both of us!!

My point is. If you think it's FUN to be a virgin who's on a sexual adventure and wants to lose his virginity in a cool way with a great gal... then this TRUE, genuine frame will create the experience for both of you.

So I say be ENTHUSIASTIC about getting your dick wet for the first time. Work on all the above, and the advice that I'm sure other members are about to give you. Go out, get your game on, and you'll meet a great gal who will LOVE to learn that she just took your virginity. Your job is to just enjoy the ride and see how cool the whole thing is... that way she'll sense this about you and follow your lead.

CoolHand.

_________________
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain


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