| Hey everybody, y’all can call me Suit. For some quick info, I’m a 5’10 173 lbs. 27 year old that was born and raised in Lafayette Louisiana. I figured the name Suit works for me because 90% of the time I go to bars or clubs I’m dressed in a fashionable fitted suit. So the name fits, IMO.
Anyway, here’s a little background info, and as usual…It starts with a girl.
My entire childhood I was shy and disconnected from society, friends were practically nonexistent. I can remember going to a family get together around 8 years old or so. There were about 20 people there. I cracked open my parents car windows and spent the entire time lying in the back seat listening to Metallica unwilling to go around the heard. My stomach was killing me. I was so damn hungry but I couldn’t force myself to leave the car. So I rolled the window down a bit further and hollered for my mom. When she arrived at window I asked her to make me a plate of food and bring it to me in the car, she obliged. I remember watching war movies, watching the hero die. I decided then that’s how I wanted to go out, a bad ass killing machine with no fear who dies honorably for his country. So began my training target practice, pain endurance etc. I didn’t worry much about my school work, because the way I saw it you don’t need straight A’s to learn to pull a trigger. I didn’t have friends, not because I didn’t want them but because I was too afraid to talk to anyone. I think I got that social defect from being picked on throughout my school years. At a whopping 5’10 113 pounds I wasn’t very intimidating and a good target for bully’s to show off how tough they were.
Now let’s jump to my junior year in high school. Still disconnected and still intent in getting offed in the military. Till one day an in art class a girl complemented me on my drawing. Out of nowhere I asked her to hang out that weekend. We did and so began my fucking 7 times a day. The skin on my pecker was actually peeling from too much wear and tear. I was hooked. But I still had a lifelong plan to join the army. So I told my girl that this summer I was going to basic training and after my senior year I was going to active duty to try and be an Airborne Ranger. She said “I thought you loved me??! How can you just leave me!? We’ve been sneaking around all year and now that summer is here we can finally spend time together!” Long story short, I changed my plans. My lifelong plans I abandoned to be with her. My father was furious. Summer rolls around and lo and behold! Her parents up and move to Texas. My new world which revolved around her was destroyed. I dropped out of school to be with her, by the time I made it there she was with another guy and wanted me to stay there as her friend. Hoping they would break up and she would get back with me I did. I couldn’t take hearing them making out, I was losing my mind. One night I was sleeping on the sofa and she was talking to her grandmother who asked her what she wanted in a man. She listed qualities, qualities that I felt I possessed. My eyes barely open so I could watch the conversation as it took place in the kitchen, noticed her grandmother nod her head in my direction, like “Hello??? He’s right there dumbass!”. Then she stated loudly and annoyed “He’s not muscular!!!!” I couldn’t believe it, after everything I sacrificed, everything I was willing to do. Abandoning my family, the reason she left me was something at the time I couldn’t change.
The next night she was in the kitchen again with her grandmother. I found some sleeping pills and decided to see if she would notice me popping one after another right in front of her. After the whole bottle she didn’t notice. Not until I collapsed, I remember her kicking me telling me to get up, I was just sobbing and repeating “Let me die”. They induced vomiting, shoved me in my vehicle and sent me packing. As I drove back to my parents’ house, I was 18 at the time BTW I started to pass out. So I pulled over to get some sleep. Hoping when I woke up it would all be a dream.
I awoke to my SUV shaking back and forth as cars sped by. I crawled into the driver seat and went home. Fast forward 5 months, my parents kicked me out because I was now at the age of 18 an alcoholic and a drug abuser. I did whatever would help me forget about the new gaping hole in my soul. So I had a blast (by blast I mean hell… I was in hell…) living in my car for the new few years until I had a choice, give up the drugs or end up in jail or dead. So I saved every extra penny, scored a decent job and cleaned up my life. By 20 years old I still hadn’t slept with any one since my first. I longed for companionship. I was always depressed and never felt whole. So I started to leave my studio apartment and venture back out into the world by 20 1/2 or so I was introduced to a crazy girl who got me back on the coke, and pushed me down the stairs a few times. She was also banging every guy in the ghetto we lived in. So I escaped that night mare any my friend introduced me to his cousin. We dated for two years before we separated. I’m 22 now, I had sex with a few more ladies up to an impressive number 5. All of which I dated and was dumped. So by now I hate myself even more that I already did, my weight being up to 115 now I still felt extremely self-conscious about my size as well.
I started hanging out with my brother and his friend. His friend was a base player for a band, not very good looking as far as guys go. But for whatever reason, he had a way with girls. I tallied it up to being in a band. I mean girls love musician’s right? Then one day my brother told me that his friend acquired his mystical powers from a book he called the bible… I was more than skeptical. My brother loaned me the book and said not to tell his friend because he didn’t want all kind of people to know what’s in it. So I started reading, a few chapters in I started to notice that things I heard him say in bars which I though was ridiculous were direct quotes from this book. So I soaked it all it, and hit up the bar. I was still at this point skeptical. But when I made my first approach (obeying the 3 second rule) I couldn’t believe how the girl was eating everything I said up. I choked and left. Still baffled by her being so friendly, I decided it had to be a fluke. I tried it again the following weekend and guess what; I was now up to 6 lucky ladies!
Fast forward a few months, I was working on having a different girl for every day of the week. I decided “Screw their feelings, how many times have mine been trampled on.” I’m still dealing with the repercussions from that today, girls talking about how much of an asshole I was when we dated a few years ago ruining my chances with a girl I actually want to date. Or the classic one night stand showing up at the bar I’m in interrupting my emotional connection phase I’m pulling on a cute blond to say, “Just to let you know, me and him had sex last night. He ****ed my best friend too. Y’all have a good night… Asshole!” or getting a drink spilled on me. That one’s only happened once. Regardless, the point of those scenarios is, remember their people too, treat them like it. If you want a one night stand let them know that’s all it’s going to be. Leading people on is just wrong.
Now let’s finally jump to the present. I’m 27, I have a good office job, a nice car, a nice apartment, decent looks and I work out at the gym 3 days a week bringing me from a bony 115lbs to a solid, slightly ripped 173lbs. Over the years my brought my lay count from 6 lucky ladies to somewhere in the 100’s. Guessing 110-130, stopped counting a few years back when I was at 68. Was close to a three way, I had one boob, the hippy girl had the other before the chick with blue hair having her tits sucked pussyed out. But oh well, not that worried about it.
I started to notice that I’ve been in this cycle. I get cocky, girl’s start approaching me and I have one night stands out the ass. Then I finally find a girl I like and she either turns me down and destroys my self-esteem and I go back to sitting in my house playing video games every weekend for a few months or we date and I drop the douche bag routine and she gets bored with me and leaves me for another asshole. Then back to the video games and self-pity.
The reason I noticed this cycle at all is because of a new girl, a month ago I slept with a 19 year old with half a shaved head, piercings all over the place and a 10/10 body. A week after than another 19 year old with a fat ass and huge tits, I have to admit… I was quite disappointed at how much they sagged for her age. After realizing I was only going to get uber young dames at the shit hole of a bar I found a new place to sarge. Well, its not really new I just hadn’t been there in quite some time. A few years back I had to rotate bars because after a while I had found I slept with every one there and needed to let it cool off. Which even doing so at that bar I met the 19 year olds at I bumped into 4 of my of conquest in one night.
So two weeks ago I was at a bar, this black chick with huge tits was flirting with me. But I had my eye on the blond across the bar who was staring at me with her pretty eyes. The bar tender was giving me free drinks all night because, and I quote “Don’t worry about it, you get if free because you look so good”. I told her for that she gets a free kiss and pointed to my cheek. I told Ms.BigBoobs that I was going use the bathroom and snuck off to talk to the blond, who turned out to be from England. Cool accent! I talked to her and she asked if the other girl would get jealous, I joked saying which one? The bartender or queen big tits? Longer story short, big tits showed up and stole a kiss from me, then me and the English girl ditch the bar and went spend the night at my place.
Last weekend I go to another bar to let the last one cool off. I walk upstairs and see this bartender who’s eyes and general sexy appeal knocked me on my ass with one glance. So I ignore her for a while, because up here there were only guys and every one of them was busy trying to get in her pants. Now, feeling cocky I felt like I could break the rules, and I was just like them, but more douchey…… I actually pulled out my phone and asked her if she knew six names. She said yes to 3. I think replied that my list of bartenders I fucked from this place, how would you like to be lucky number seven. I we laughed and joked for a while, then I handed her my business card and said if you feel like being sore for a couple of days, give me a call.
The very next day she hit me up on face book. “I accidently stumbled across your profile lol, how about that?” I was thinking, Bullshit you searched for me, you want the “D”. I said “What can I say, I’m everywhere” I decided to stick with the cocky attitude. She said “Apparently so! LoL” So I go back to the bar the next night thinking I have this in the bag, I’m sober when I walk in. I thought she was pretty last time I saw her with beer goggles on, this time she went from a 6.5 to a solid 9. I couldn’t believe it, I decided I found someone I wanted to date and depending on her personality marry. However still being cocky from my good streak of luck the past month or so I again ignored the rules and hit on her with two other random ghetto guys that were leaning on the bar. I diffused the two fellas and used them as social proof, I mean there were no girls up there for me to use as sets so I tried to use what I had available. I told her, “ You want to have the honor of being my girlfriend?” She replied “ I’m not that easy honey.” By this point I was drunk again was joking around and told her “I went over that list I realized that I forgot about somebody, so really you would be lucky number eight lol.” She said “Yeah, I talked one of them, shes a friend of mine. She told me you also slept with ****** and *******. She was like you should sleep with him, join the club lol. I told her no thanks, don’t think I want to be part of that band wagon.” I was like shit, now what. So I kept flirting with her, hung around the bar all creepy like, getting lost in her eyes and shit. She invited me tiki tubing, I responded with “Fuck that shit, go grab your tiki tube thing and we can set it up in my bath tub.” Then more douchey pickup lines. I leave then bar and send her a message on facebook. It played out like this…..
ME: Got some friends at the house, let me know if you want to come hang.”
HER: babe, I have 2 get things 4 tiki tubing ready… idk y u keep ask me out, I don’t understand…lol”
MY DRUNK ASS 4 in the morning: Cause I find you attractive, but hey don’t worry about it. Its not that big of a deal.
HER: I am very very flattered
ME: Have fun tiki tubing. Sorry I couldn’t convince you to spend the night. Im sure we would have had a great time.
HER: do I look like im easy or something? Lol….
ME the next day sober, douche bag mode lost: Both of the times I met you, I was drunk as hell. That is not normal behavior for me. Well, normal for when I’m drinking I guess. Anyway, I’m sober now. You’re a lovely lady, and I apologize for being so forward and anything I said that you may have taken offense from. You deserve more respect than that. Oh and just FYI, what you know of me know is not an accurate depiction of my character. I assure you that I’m not nearly as big of a douche as I portrayed myself as last night. Regardless, not of that excuses my behavior and again I apologize. Anyway, take care of yourself.
HER: You seem very sweet, and don’t apologize, you haven’t done anything wrong, I like how you cut up with me. Plus, I like the way you dress. Lol, kind of sounds like youre breaking up with me haha. We r friends silly, But, yeah, saying all that about you sleeping with everyone from the bar, well that doesn’t look good for you haha. But I still think your adorable and we r friends right?
ME making myself look like a punk: Lol sure, oh and just for further clarification. That “list” of bartenders I slept with wasn’t something I intended to make. Half worked there after we dated, the other have were pure coincidence. I used to go to ****** often over the past 6 years. My brothers girlfriend asked me how many girls I had slept with from there, I said two, though about it and realized it was actually 6. It had never occurred to me before. For the most part I have stopped sleeping around. Not really proud of my past behavior haven been hurt a few times didn’t give me the right to run around being an asshole. I hurt people’s feelings I didn’t mean to. One of the main reasons I’m single now is because I’m afraid to try start something with someone in fear they may get hurt. I deserve to be alone, I feel like shit for every girl who’s feelings I hurt in the past. My feelings usually got hurt because girls fell in love with the douche they met at the bar. But when the smoke clears and the booze wears off they realize that guy doesn’t exist. That’s happened to me more times than I can remember. I actually have more respect for you because you didn’t fall for that guy. Cause to be honest, I don’t like him. And the reason I responded the way I did is because I thought my actions insinuated that I thought you were “Easy” and offended you. And that embarrassed me. So I was pretty much telling you that I was going to leave you be. Perhaps I was reading too much into it. Anyway, I have a crap ton of work to do at the office. Rant over, you get a medal if you read the whole thing.
HER: I read the whole thing lol! I don’t actually have time 2 respond like I want to so we will have to wait till later, I have to go to work. Thanks for the detail in this. *Blowing kiss smiley face*
ME trying to recover from looking like a total pussy: Shit… I don’t really have a medal to give you. Would you settle for a printed certificate? Perhaps a ribbon?
HER: Lol, ur funny!
That was the last message I got from her yesterday. I thought about trying the cock funny approach again saying “Wow, if that is what you didn’t have time to say. I have to admit I’m truly disappointed. It would appear your about as deep as a puddle lol! *Smiley face wink* It’s okay, though I like to play in puddles.”
But I felt like I had done enough damage as it is, so I decided not to say shit and cram as much PUA knowledge back into my head that I had forgotten over the years to see if I could salvage the situation before this weekend came around. So I bought some PUA training DVDS and reread some PUA books. I even decided to go further and join this site. I really dig this chick and I’m not ready to give up yet.
If anybody read though this whole post which I seriously doubt lol, I would appreciate any advice. Do you think the situations salvageable? Did I screw up too much and I should just try to forget her and move on. Getting girls isn’t a problem, it’s just seems whenever I meet one I truly like and want to be with I fuck it up. I’m also realizing I had extremely low self-worth. So any time a girl likes me, I think well she must not be that good of a catch after all and cut her loose. Probably why I only fall for the ones that don’t sleep with me right away, and then I convince myself that she doesn’t want me and give up.
Anyway thanks for taking the time to read all this, I’m really excited to be part of the community. Look forward to meeting you guys!
Peace out!!!
Suit
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CHAT