I am a 22 year old guy with very little experience with women. I know I have social barriers to overcome so I can be better with the women, one of these is a fear of rejection. I am hoping to find a way to better this. I found out about PUAs through a book I was recommended and have been reading, The Game by Neil Strauss. I feel as though the experiences the characters in that book have gotten past are much of what I have to work through, and so I figured I would look deeper. I do not necessarily want to just run through bars picking up women, but need the confidence boost. Thank you all in advance for any welcomes I may get, and I hope to find some of what I am looking for to cross off my personal self improvement list.

Hey King Bandit,

Welcome to the PUA community. By the way, I understand where you are coming from when you've said that you have to improve your seduction skills but don't necessarily want to run through bars picking up random women. This is exactly how I feel.

And, to encourage you, I'd like to say that you are thinking in the right direction and the right way when you say that you don't necessarily want to run through bars picking up women because this will hugely benefit your own personal growth and development and eventually help you unleash your best not only in dating but also in life in general.

By the way, I am now a 39 year old guy still improving my own dating game and these days I may be onto something that could not only help you instantly get rid of all your fear of rejection but also set you on the fasttrack to really and truly unleashing your very best as I've just mentioned above.

So, let me explain what exactly I mean here.

After over 20 years of painful struggling and failing in both the area of picking up women and also the area of making money, I have lately realized that most things I have so far done in both areas are the things that I have never really enjoyed doing. And, this is how I've lately hit my rock bottom in all my frustrations and pains.

So, I've got so 'hungry' to finally find the formula or the recipe on how I could effortlessly live and enjoy my life to the fullest the way super successful people do. Furthermore, I wanted to find the way of being able to both effortlessly sexually attracting my desired women at any place and any time and also the way of being able to effortlessly cash in on my top passion. And, my top passion is exactly that ability of effortlessly sexually attracting hot women.

So, I've found that formula in my now favorite personal development bestselling book "The Passion Test: The Effortless Path To Discovering Your Destiny" after having searched for it one whole night and the following morning until I found it.

The bottom line of the book is that you should always focus your attention on the things that you are really passionate about that's the things that really make you alive because that way you are going to easily be able to create your dream lifestyle and lead and enjoy a passionate life.

And, believe or not, this piece of advice can help you both get rid of your fear of rejection and also boost your confidence with women. Here's how.

What this book has helped me realize was that I have never really enjoyed approaching random women the way I have mostly been doing it. In other words, I have realized that I should immediately stop it and should find the way of approaching my type of women that I would really enjoy.

Anyway, my problem wasn't only about being addicted to the wrong way of approaching women. Even worse, I turned into a guy who adopted a silly habit of mechanically approaching women almost everywhere I went. If you've read the book "The game" by Neil Strauss, you can remember that Neil at some point warns the reader on the risk and danger for any guy practicing his pick up skills to turn into a so called "social robot" as he called it.

And, I turned into that "social robot" myself. Man, I got to the point where I mechanically started making a fool of myself approaching random women like a stupid clown on the street and even bumping into and approaching the same girls and the same women almost every second day.

So, thanks to the book "The Passion Test: The Effortless Path To Discovering Your Destiny" that's by the way recommended and endorsed by some of the most famous authors on topics of success and personal development out there, I've learned two life-transforming things from the same book and they are:

"Enjoy whatever you do."

"Whatever you put your attention on grows stronger and stronger in your life."

The latter quote has hugely helped me realize that if I continue practicing the bad habit of mechanically approaching women, I could easily become addicted to it for the rest of my life. To remind you, it takes only 21-28 days for us to adopt any new habit if we keep doing it day in day out during this 28 day time frame.

Anyway, despite the fact that these two statements have hugely helped me get rid of that bad habit of robotically approaching women, I was still facing another big problem that came up as the result of me doing this bad habit day-in day-out. And, that big problem was that I was suffering from an unnaturally increased dose of my approach anxiety when meeting women.

I've said "unnaturally increased" because I have never ever had so huge approach anxiety before due to the fact that for the last ten years I have actually mastered the skills of cold approaching random people (including women) anywhere in public based on my experience in working as a direct sales agent or rep for years. So, all in all, approach anxiety shouldn't represent a big problem for me at all.

So, as you can guess, now my next step was to find the best way for me to get rid of that awfully frustrating approach anxiety that got so high inside the whole of me so that I unbelievably started to feel as if I am facing the kind of death penalty everytime I was about to go out. Man, that pressure was so huge inside me.

Luckily and unexpectedly, I soon found the solution for instantly getting rid of all my approach anxiety in the way that many guys would probably never ever dream of possible. So, here's what happened.

One day, I went on YouTube and 'accidentally' found a video about my favorite martial artist - Bruce Lee. However, now you are going to be surprised if I tell you that this video had nothing to do with Bruce Lee's martial arts movies or scenes. That video was, I now dare to say, a goldmine of powerful personal growth quotes of Bruce Lee. You remember that Bruce wasn't only a great martial artist but also an awesome and inspirational personal growth teacher and philosopher if you like.

Guess what. A series of Bruce Lee's words of wisdom and quotes have not only helped me instantly get rid of all my approach anxiety but also effortlessly sexually attract hot women to the best of my ability and with no memorized openers, no memorized pick up lines and no friend zone at all.

So, the following three quotes of Bruce Lee had a huge impact on me and they are as follows:

"When you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you put water in a glass, it becomes the glass....Be like water, my friend. Empty your mind."

"If you are planning to win, you are planning to lose."

"The art of fighting without fighting."

The last two quotes were found from a couple of Bruce Lee movies. And, the last one was said by Bruce starring in one of his movies where the bad character in the movie was out of blue asking Bruce to tell him what his best martial arts technique while at the same time challenging Bruce to fight with him on the spot.

Funnily enough, Bruce Lee very calmly replied to him that his best technique was "The art of fighting without fighting". In this movie scene, Bruce also wisely responds to the bad guy's request to fight with him on the spot by suggesting that they'd better go to a nearby island and fight there because there are not enough space for fighting on the little boat.

So, Bruce asks the bad guy to jump into one of those small aid boats that would take them to the nearby island first. And, as soon as the bad guy jumped down on that aid boat, Bruce playfully unleashed the rope that was linking the two boats and gave it to the kids to play with it thus making a fool of the bad guy.

So, all the three Bruce's quotes helped me realize the fact that I should go ahead and use his tips in effortlessly attracting hot women.

So, the light bulb moment was when I said to myself:"Wow! This means that I could use this as the art of picking up without picking up in order to become successful at picking up women."

So did I. As the result of it, I reaped an amazing field success of not only being able to effortlessly sexually attract an extremely hot blonde girl with no approach anxiety, no fears, no friend zone, no words, no memorized openers, no memorized pick up lines and no prior preparations at all but also being able to powerfully make her so intrigued and interested in me in the way that she soon suddenly started to unstoppably sexually flirt with me and hit on me if you like.

And, that hot blondie might have well been about 20 years younger than me.

Now, man, I am so glad to be able to encourage you by saying: "If I as a 39 year old 'bastard' can easily and effortlessly attract a 19 year old hot girl like this, then I am convinced that you as a 22 year old guy can surely do the same."

Man, this was amazing because I have never ever experienced anything like this in my entire life when it comes to picking up hot women. Never ever has it happened to me before.

Now, if you're still wondering how exactly my experience can help you both get rid of your fear of rejection and also boost your confidence at the same time, the best way for me to answer that question for you will be by sharing with you the exact two steps that I used in order to effortlessly, confidently and playfully attract that 19 year old blonde hottie directly from the street.

So, here are the two steps that I have done and that have helped me instantly unleash my best that's my inner sexual attraction genius as I like to call it:

1. Based on the three Bruce Lee's quotes, I have emptied my mind the way that I have made sure that I have not only totally lost my desire to win (or pick up) any woman but also have I decided to have no intention or have no pressure of having to approach any woman let alone pick her up. WHY?

Because this kind of state of mind is going to instantly free you of TONS of your approach anxiety that might have been piled up inside you for years. And, this one exercise alone has helped me achieve exactly that.

As the result of doing this, when the real opportunity for you to meet your type of woman comes, you will be able to do your best move because you'll be able to act clearly and instinctively according to exactly the way you are feeling RIGHT THERE and RIGHT THAT MOMENT.

Because your entire mind will be emptied and free of any fears and worries when meeting women thannks to the fact that even before you went out, you decided not to be under the pressure of having to approach ANY woman let alone pick her up. By the way, this is almost like the situation where a salesman of your favorite car or any other product that you really like would say to you:

"King Bandit, if I could now give this car to you absolutely free of charge, how would you feel about it?"

Of course, you would feel GREAT because for a few seconds you could enjoy that imagined situation in your mind where you wouldn't have ANY worry or ANY pressure of having to spend your money to buy it since the sales guy has suggested the possibility for you to get it absolutely free.

So, this was the first step that helped me act so playfully and be able to effortlessly pick up that blonde hottie like a jerk despite the fact that I had never been a jerk in my entire life.

But for this step to work in my favor, there was also another important step to do. And, that step is all about helping me overcome shyness over freely and openly embracing and expressing my true sexual desires and my true sexual feelings towards women that really turn me on.

So, here comes the second step that I did on the very same day as I did the first one and made that success in effortlessly picking up the blonde hottie.

2. I have decided to practice becoming more comfortable with freely expressing my true sexual desires towards women that really turn me on.

The way you could do that is quite simply by focusing your attention on your desired woman's sexy parts like her ass or her tits. In short, you could drastically improve your comfort with your own sexuality towards women that turn you on by just fearlessly staring on their hot or sexy body parts for a few minutes a day.

The way I personally did it was by simply visiting the Argentine tango dancing gig that I already went to once or a couple of times before. Why did I go there?

Well, I remembered fully enjoying my great feeling from the last two times when I went there.

And, the great feeling was that just standing aside and passionately observing all those super beautiful and attractively dressed female Argentine tago dancers' hot and sexy parts like their stunning legs, their breasts and also their erotically charged faces and their emotionally breathing nostrils helped me instantly re-ignite and fully embrace my natural sexual desires towards women that really turn me on.

In other words, during those few minutes of staying at the Argentine tango dancing gig, I was fully enjoying the moments of my true sexual excitement towards women that really turn me on.

As the result of just doing this simple observing exercise, you are going to start to 'invisibly' convey and ray your sexual vibes even when aimlessly walking down the street with no intention to approach any woman let alone pick her up. This is exactly how I was aimlessly walking down the street before I bumped into that hot blonde babe.

And, before you know it, hot women around you will not only pick up your sexual vibes in the air but also can they instantly become intrigued enough to want to get to know you and to even pick you up as long as you keep showing your genuine interest in them through your laidback firm eye contact and your natural coolness that will come up as the result of you implementing the two steps.

Finally, caring about your amazing successes with women, I'd also like to add something at the end of this long message that I believe also contributed to my overall confidence and success in effortlessly attracting the blonde hottie and that I believe could also help you significantly improve your own confidence with women. Because I remember that you've said that you want to boost your confidence.

So, here's what you can also do to improve your confidence. Everyday try to do something that you are scared to do. By the way, I've learned this tip from one of my favorite bestselling books "Four Hour Work Week". Anyway, this tip hasn't come to me by surprise thanks to the fact that I spent almost 10 years of my life working in direct sales stopping people on the street and knocking on people's doors day in day out. And, for me to be able to do all this I had to overcome my fear and comfort zone when approaching random people every single day for ten years.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, I am not telling you this in order to ask you to get a direct sales job to practice overcoming your own fears because your fears might be related to something completely different from approaching random people.

The point that I want to make here is that everytime you do something that you are at first afraid to do, it's going to make you like yourself more, it's going to make you become extremely proud of yourself and it's going to instantly encourage you to face and overcome either the same fear or any other kind of your fear with pleasure if you know what I mean. And, that fear could also be a form of shyness or stage-fright if you like.

For example, if you fear approaching your desired woman while she's accompanied with another guy, and you just approach her no matter what, you're going to feel great about yourself and also feel encouraged enough to approach another woman in a similar or even more complicated situation than the one when she's just with another man.

Because you may or may not have heard what I am now going to tell you before. The greatest rewards of your own efforts mostly come from the most difficult and most complicated seeming situations where most people wouldn't be keen on even lifting their finger about when it comes to taking any action.

So, that's why you may hear some telling you that it's easier to seduce the most beautiful woman out there than the less beautiful one, or that it's easier to earn 10 million dollars than only 1 million. You know why.

Because you've got little or no competition around you when it comes to going for this BIG rewards because luckily for you and me, many guys out there either don't believe they can do it or they are simply shit scared to do it. The latter comes from the fact that many guys live under the illusion that if they do approach a woman while she's accompanied with another guy, a huge disaster is going to happen to them.

And, guess what. The truth of the matter is that normally no disasters happen as the result. So, I hope all this encourages you to progress in your own dating game.

So, what I was going to tell you when speaking about the subject of overcoming your daily fears was the fact that on the day when I approached that hot blondie I was dead broke and got hungry after I'd left the Argentine tango place. Since I didn't have any money in my pockets to buy food, I have decided to enter a local pizza shop and ask for the shop keeper to give me a piece of pizza away for free.

And, I really got it for free. Furthermore I was feeling absolutely great about myself for doing so and that great feeling was perfectly added to my earlier adopted feeling of my true sexual excitement when visiting the Argentine tango place.

So, why I was feeling great and so empowered about getting a free pizza?

For two reasons.

First, I easily achieved my goal that was to satisfy my hunger. And, secondly, I broke my initial fear of boldly approaching the shop-keeper and asking him to give me the free pizza.

And, guess what. While I was happily eating that free pizza and aimlessly walking down the street, I soon saw that hot blondie in front of my eyes.

To your amazing successes with women!

AFC Bruno

_________________
FREE Report: "From False Passion For Picking Up Women Through Sexual Addiction To Redemption"

Thank you for the great advice, Bruno. Some of that I already knew, but some I didnt. And it is always better to hear words of wisdom come from another than ones self anyways. I will take it in and use it. I am always glad to hear of any advice people may offer, and actually have a bit more depth I will shed in another post, once I figure out where to post it, breaking down where exactly my confidence issues kick on. I am actually thinking of trying to learn some of the indirect approaches, like group approaches where the target is ignored first, to work into talking to the target, but am still working on the ones that would work best for me, but that I will also explain in the next post I make in the forums here.

You are welcome, King Bandit. I am very glad that you appreciate my advice. By the way, I would be very grateful to you if you could tell me what part of my advice you didn't know and what part of it you already knew.

Based on my field experience and also on what I've learned from some top pick up artists and seduction gurus, I can tell you that one of the best ways for you to get what you want out of your dating game's efforts is to confidently and directly approach the woman that really turns you on and openly let her know what you like about her that's which exact part of her has really attracted you as soon as you saw her, and also what you really want from her. guess what. many hot women will absolutely love you for doing so, because they will feel how super confident you are and how crystally clear you are on what you really want.

Always try to remember to fully embrace and love your true sexual feelings towards women because many women love sexually confident guys. Because everytime you consciously or subsconsciously try to hide your real sexual desires towards the woman you have just approached, you may easily soon end up wasting your time in boring fluff talks that you really don't want and also you may easily end up getting trapped in that frustrating friend zone.

So, that's why I prefer the direct approach over the indirect one.

Hope this helps.

Bruno

_________________
FREE Report: "From False Passion For Picking Up Women Through Sexual Addiction To Redemption"

This is a great post. I like the ideas here. I like the re frame. There should be no internal pressure to succeed in your head. The fact that its there at all can undermine a situation where you are trying too hard. This is what happens to me. I'm a very cerebral and analytical type of person. I am always thinking about it way to hard. But when I can push the process to the background, be in the now, and re frame into a relaxed mode I start to have my best game without trying.

Hey Reframe,

I am so thrilled to meet you and by the way, I've almost got goosebumps after I've read one of your posts under another thread that's titled "Complete Newbie! Beginning of a journey" (started by xCHANGEx).

The reason I've almost got goosebumps while reading your reply to xCHANGEx is because when I started reading your introduction about your sales career for over a decade, I've almost said to myself: "Is this somebody who's posting on my behalf without asking me for my permission?" or "Is this post really real?"

And, also when you've said that you're 38, I've almost got frozen by all this surprising coincidence.

So, here's why I've almost got goosebumps even wondering if you are some kind of clone or ghost of mine or something like that. It's unbelievable how I've actually felt.

I am a 39 year old guy who spent a decade of my life working in the areas of direct sales and also media advertising sales (that's cold calling) in London, United Kingdom.

Man, it's amazing how your experience with women while working in sales has so much reminded of mine.

By the way, I can definitely relate to your experience because I can really imagine what you've been going through in terms of trying to overcome those psychological barriers holding you back from unleashing and being your best with women the way you would fearlessly get sexual with women exactly according to the way you feel right there and right that moment (that's in the NOW).

By the way, I'd love to find a place online like a forum or a social networking site where sales guys like you and I could discuss the seduction game in relation to the sales game in one way or another. Because I would really love those sales guys who may be good at sales but still kind of struggling in the dating arena to read my above post where I revealed the two steps that helped me finally get where I wanted to be in relation to picking up women during my whole sales career with no intention to now brag or anything like that.

By the way, I am sharing all this with you because of the fact that I was super confident and fearless in approaching random women, striking conversations, building a rapport and smoothly getting random women's cell phone numbers day in day out for a decade while at the same time working in direct sales and cold calling.
BUT my problem was that I didn't know how to naturally get sexual with women for all those 10 years while working as a sales guy. And, it was really kind of tragicomic for me to experience situations where my sales colleagues used to ask me: "So, Bruno, tell me how many girlfriends do you have?"...

...often when we went out to nearby bars after work and they saw me fearlessly approaching and opening up chats with women everywhere.

So, the two steps that I've shared in my previous post is definitely something that I am convinced could help any such sales guys. Because all they have to practice is just becoming comfortable with passionately embracing and talking about their true sexual desires before women that really turn them on the same way they are comfortable with passionately embracing and talking about the products they are selling in their sales jobs.

Because I like to say, passion sells as easy as sex.

Man, great meeting you, and looking forward to keeping in touch.

You are welcome to hit me up through sending me PM (private message) if you like.

Bruno

_________________
FREE Report: "From False Passion For Picking Up Women Through Sexual Addiction To Redemption"

Bruno, this is it for me exactly. I am discovering I already know how to open (and keep my foot in the door afterwards)

My main sticking point seems to be precisely as you described. I need to embrace my sexual feelings towards women and find the most sucesseful ways to express my desire, especially towards the ones I am most attracted to. All the witty banter in the world won't take me a single step forward unless I can transcend my past sales experience and be natural and comfortable with this.

I have noticed that even a slight improvement in this area has lit off the radars of several females I have known for years who were never interested before. In fact I also believe there are more people, men and women, that know me that have seen this change(even subconsciously) who now take me more seriously a a person.

I think that once I get to a natural frame of assuming and projecting a normal heathy sexual state (and not thinking about it) I will eventually be unstoppable. I have read through your post about this a few times and will likely read it several more.

Thanks for your insight into this matter.

"Knowledge is power. Use it well."

Reframe, I am very glad to hear that you're on the right track to leverage and be your sexual best with women. Furthermore I am thrilled to realize that we are on the same page when understanding the importance of passionately embracing and expressing our real and true sexual desires towards women that turn us on.

In short, once we as experienced sales guys get comfortable with passionately "selling our sexual product" the same way as we've got comfortable with passionately selling the products of the company we work for, then we've completely nailed the seduction game because...

...as both you and I know the sales game and the seduction game work on the same principles as far as the phases of the whole communication process starting from the introduction phase and ending up with the closing one are concerned.

I'm glad that you like my insights and it's my great pleasure to share them with you and the rest of the guys on this forum. By the way, I'm just adding the final touches to my free report where I'm going into much more details on my insights because I really believe that they can serve as a life-transforming eye opener to many of us who are here for the same reason.

Stay well!

Bruno

_________________
FREE Report: "From False Passion For Picking Up Women Through Sexual Addiction To Redemption"