As the title reads its hard to write this even though it's to complete and utter strangers, who I have never met before, that I am talking to

. I've always been random, and trying to make people laugh like robin williams, jim carrey. Some say im to funny and not enough serious. I'm 29 years young and hitting 30 in May. I'm an overweight virgin who just recently started loosing weight. I was at 290 LBS (OMG HOW Pathetic am I runs through my mind at this)and have since reached 240. My only one relationship was online. with a woman 17 years older who I have only seen in video. But my shyness was to a key that we grew to like each other before we ever even spoke to one another on the phone. which was only one time and barely anything was said. I look back and realize that no relationship should ever be held online without actual goals to meet. Cause all that happens is you get emotionally envolved with someone who very well could be incompatible in real life.

I've only ever kissed a girl once and that was when I was 5 during preschool. I have a baby face so I know I have some physical atraction there. Ive had The infamous "One itis" like you wouldn't believe. One itis is an amazing and terrifying feeling all at once. If this is the word to describe love at first sight someone sure knew what they where doing when they created it. I have been asked out before but being inexsperienced I froze the whole night and this was at a homecoming dance. If I could just somehow bring my natural self out when talking with women I know Id have something to offer.

Im down to 240 lbs. The real problem isnt just with women, its with searching for work I want to follow. I don't know what I want to be and I think Ive used that as an exscuse for way to long. I think the main issue to my weight and introverted lifestyle now has to do with the fact that when I lived at home my mother and father would fight all the time. My dad was unhappy with the marriage and instead of being a Man, never ended it and just saw other women on the side lying about it the whole time. There was alot of mental abuse from him on this part. It angers me that I let him have that much control over my life while he did whatever the hell he wants. Seeing the way he was to us I told myself I would never be that guy but somehow that tends to make me to much of a nice guy instead of taking risks and chances.I really wish I knew other puas out there that may have struggled with the same mental abuse.

Im the observer guy, the Nice guy, the 30 year old drunk frat boy everyone wants to be around to see what stupid thing hes gonna do next. Like alot of Us Neil strauss got me hooked on this world. I picked up the game, as well as the 30 day stylelife challenge. Key things I have been focusing on are goals. Short term and long term. I picked up my guitar and started learning just one song. Im practising two right now (red hot chilli peppers-otherside-scar tissue). Continuing to loose weight as my goal is 180 and would be interested in getting down to 150-155. I may need to seek a weight loss program so that I don't scale back up ever. I am also a very fast reader. so once a month I've decided to pick up a book to read atleast 30 minutes before bed. As you can guess alot of them on the list I have made have to do with this world. Ive broadened that list to include other areas such as A book called ESP what is it.

I no longer want to be the guy sitting at home at night watching countless youtube videos over and over again. on a social aspect. Im using my randomness to start conversation with total strangers.

One such interesting opener was as simple as me bringing a baby ruth to the front counter I had a snickers bar for my sister. I had just started wearing clothes that exspress the peacocking theory which I was getting quite a few responses for (you can never go wrong with black especially if there is something written on it). I said to the guy who must be in his 20's sometimes you gotta have a snickers but Id rather have a baby ruth. which got them laughing. They may just be friendly to customers but the fact that I had a metallica shirt on he mentioned his rap cd he was selling for 5 bucks which I was given for free. It's so strange how such simple openers can not only get the other person comftorable but yourself as well.

I want women in my life. I want a girlfriend. I want to get married someday have kids and make sure I don't make the same mistakes. But how can I be sure what I want if I don't go out there. An inspiring song for anyone trying to go out with a strong mind set "Radioactivity-"Imagine Dragons

Welcome Zirk,

Congratulations, on deciding to get this part of your life handled!

Everybody in this place has a story...Your Mother and Father gave you life. They fed you they put clothes on your back. That is all they were supposed to do. No matter how good or how bad it was. It is up to you to make something of it!

It's time to stop using that crutch for the rest of your life. Instead, I'd use it as a motivation tool to push yourself harder.

#1. JOIN A GYM AND GET A TRAINER!

At this point in your life, it will be the best investment you could possibly make!

NOTHING will compare to that lifestyle change.

#2. Do the newbie challenge.

You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.

The thing is, when you go out of your comfort zone and it works! There's nothing more satisfying.

Don't get me wrong, reading is helpful, I do a lot of it!

This is not about reading, THIS IS ABOUT DOING!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Welcome brother. The guy above me is right, as cheesy as it sounds taking the first step to doing something about your problems is the hardest thing of all. But you've done that now so well done. As far as weight and confidence goes, one thing I would advise you to do is take up boxing, it's just my opnion but I think boxing (and for that matter kick boxing, muay thai, mma etc) is the best all round fitness regime you can get. It's all about developing explosive strength around a core of athletic fitness. In other words, lots of running lots of push ups haha.

As far as confidence goes, it'll really help you out there too. Was talking about this with another member, the more you do it, the more you'll realise how silly it is to be nervous about talking to women, when you're not even scared getting punched in the face by a guy who could probably knock out a horse. Also it's good inner game to develop an interest; women love guys who are able to talk passionatley and interestingly about something. Doesn't really matter what, as long as you make it sound cool.

My advice would be to find your local gym. Don't worry about being judged about your weight, don't worry about getting beat up by a toughest fighter there, don't even worry that 29 is pretty late to start training. Most of the guys in there will respect you, like we do, for having the stones to do something about your fitness problem, it's of no benefit for an experienced fighter to spar with a novice, and most of the guys in there will love the sport so much that they'll be pleased they have a fellow convert.

Like I said, it'll do wonders for your fitness and confidence. Once you have those, the game is half won before you even step out the front door.

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Be a realist; Demand the Impossible.

Welcome man! I'll second what the two before me said and definitely recommend the newbie challenge. Ya it can suck. And it will be awkward at first. Every chance you get practice. Withing a week or two the results will astound you.