You have two minutes? The read this. It's only a few paragraphs - you can read a few paragraphs.

-I am 21.
I am 6 ft 4, with a atheletic, toned and muscular build
-I live in England
-I am studying at a UK top 15 (and world top 50) University. I'm studying political science and am going to -law school when I graduate.
-I am very, very motivated, get up at half 6 everyday to follow the business news, always grinding for work experience opportunities, involved in extra-currics (am getting into even more next term), work hard for my degree and get the results. I am holding it down in my academic and career life. Want to be a lawyer.
-I have a decent group of friends, get invited out to parties, go out clubbing or to bars once a week
-I know style. Really. I really know how to put things together and visit all sorts of little vintage stores and stuff, have a tailor etc so I truly pull off great fits and what have you. Get complimented on my style often.
-I am decent looking. Have been told I'm good looking a few times. I am of South Asian descent (British-Indian) so I do look kinda exotic, when I walk around or go into somewhere I always get people looking at me - the way I dress helps, but I also overhear compliments like 'he's hot' etc.
-I am very well groomed. I have a hair stylist that has won awards, have a daily skin and hair regime.

Basically, I am a polished, articulate, intelligent young man. I kid you not but at gatherings with a variety of people, there have been times when, after a lot of male bonding, fathers have introduced me to their daughters and been eager to stay in touch with me. I know this sounds arrogant, but please permit me on the basis that your life is no doubt much more fulfilling than mine..

Now, with a teaspoon of sugar, comes the medicine.

I'm 21. I have never intimately held hands with a girl. Never intimately hugged a girl. Never kissed a girl. Never had sex. Never had a girlfriend. Never even had a female friend who was close to me - I do have friends who're girls, though, they just float around.

I feel pretty beat up about this. It's affecting me. It's been nagging away at me since I was about 19. I thought something would happen, have been doing out every week, have been on vacations with the boys and what have you, but for me it just doesn't happen. I get stared at a freaking lot, I over hear compliments a lot, I even, occasionally, get women grab me and approach me. But alas, I'm as untouched as a man can be. I am still doing what I can to be confident, public speak regularly, try and meet new people, but inside this is just making me feel like I'm not worth that much. I see guys who, pardon me, I wouldn't even piss on get with beautiful women. I can see myself in a lucrative career in a few years, but this will always fucking kill me. How can you be born tall, handsome, be smart, have a lot of friends, have a wide range of interests and success in sports, but not be able to attract a mate? I have great genes, and they're going to be completely lost in the annals of history. Sucks dude.

I have had enough. I cannot take any more. I simply will not allow this to occur. I am changing my life. I have tried in the past, but my efforts fizzle out and I go back to being a frustrated chump - this changes today. My life depends on it. I cannot be successful in my career or life if I feel like I do now.

I am starting a field report today. Any advice you can throw at me, do so.

Now we're basically up to speed, you know me, you know my story, we can get this journey off to a start. I am committed, and if you help me believe me, I am not going to let you down!

Thanks.

If women have initial interest in you and you can carry a conversation, I would think there is a problem with your body language and a lack of physical intimacy. So study body language and learn how to touch people, it might help you a lot.

_________________
One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

I'll be quite honest, let me tell you what kills me man. I mean, absolutely blows me out the fucking water - approach anxiety.

I just can't do it. I fucking freeze up, hesitate, just cannot approach. Once in, on the odd time I have done it, I can carry a conversation, yes. But getting there for me is nigh on impossible. I fucking hate that some limp ass dweeb has the chops to go up to a gorgeous gal I'd love to talk to, while I fucking wizz around dancing like a frustrated, anxious chump. Sucks man.

I am going out tonight, by the way. I know a bit about body language from reading the Mystery Method - if I'm sober enough to apply it, I believe it is the real deal.

Maybe check out the book "Rules of the game" by Neil Strauss. It's a 30 day challenge and good for trying to overcome AA

Hmm, you sound like someone who might one day become a pupil of mine. Ambitious and determined in life.

Perhaps you recognize the following feeling:

Soon she started more to hold my hand, to kiss me every now and then, and I could tell that, requiring patience, things were going the right way (again). We sat down at a restaurant, where she asked me: "Just how can you be so confident? Your amount of self-esteem is so overwhelming that I´ve asked myself if it is an act." I looked her clearly into the eyes and said: "Do you know where I take my confidence from? I will tell you. You don´t know what it is to succeed at everything you do, to have so much vigour and potential, and still to remain unsatisfied because this one element of your life remains unfulfilled. For four years, I looked around me and saw happy people. Even very simple-minded people who never read a book in their lives, and they are happy simply by being together. And none of your friends or family understands this void that you feel because they only see your outward appearance: They only see your strength, your stamina, your drive and your knowledge. What they don´t see is the emptiness you feel inside. And so, my confidence comes from knowing exactly what I want. As soon as I see something, I know immediately how much it´s worth to me, how much I would sacrifice to get it."

To be honest, if you failed before due to lack of action, you will fail again. Action is in your Character (thymos), or it is not. In my life I've met hundreds of persons who said they would do thing A or thing B to improve, achieve their goals, excell. In the end, only two of them pulled it off. Doubt you're going to be one of them. Prove me wrong. People talk all this time about improving and the goals they put for themselves. This is not a "trick" you can master. Are you ready to give every little bit of energy that you have, deprive yourself of eating and sleeping and if necessary travel to the end of the world to accomplish your goals?

Without Character, you will not be a self-convinced person, but instead will rely on social approval like a nursing-calf. I read a lot of narcisism in your thread. Get rid of that and be humble for now. Basically, since PUA´s don't have Character, since their lives don't revolve around goals they hold to be important to themselves, they imitate things thought up by others. They read books written by others that teach them how to be themselves.

Instead, read deep, high quality books that make you think of great thoughts, great deeds, and make your soul burn inside from passion and erudition. Here are some suggestions: "The Republic" by Plato, "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley (make sure to get the original version as it is very eloquently written). "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand is also a good one since it contains many well-written conversations. Or "The Pilgrimage" by Paulo Coelho, although not erudite still a rather inspiring story. After you read these things, speak about the thoughts that you get with your friends, teachers, whoever. Develop yourself to be an erudite person. I invested 22 years of my life in this, and I am the greatest conversationist alive today.

I meet people from all walks of life for my job and I´ve read all Epic books from Dostojevski to Ayn Rand, Nietzsche, Shakespeare, the Alchemist, whatever, I´ve travelled many lands, dated girls from a variety of nations and races, seen and done the craziest shit. Sat down at a dining table with the commissionar of the queen and with a bunch of bums at a railway station. And I will tell you this, what it all comes down to:

Girl really loves a guy. She´s totally in love with him. She told him: "I will meet you tonight and won´t hold back!" At the early evening she sits down with her friends in a restaurant, has a drink. Another one, it gets cosy and she has in the back of her mind that she´s supposed to meet him. Another drink. The hours slip by, something nags her that she has to get moving . . . And then it´s too late, because the last train is gone. The only thing she can do now is to call him and make excuses, about how badly she wanted to see him, about that the train is gone.

Perhaps she will lose the love of her life because of this, or the ultimate dream job offer. In the end, people lose because they cannot struggle against their own inertia.

This is how it always goes. In politics, relationships, business. People are overcome by their own inertia. 99.9% of the people only move because either someone holds a carrot some centrimetres in front of him, and presses a knife against his back. The 00.1% is the people holding the carrot and the knife, and they see how trivial and weak the rest is.99.9% of the people alive in our MTV-based society today would not possess the strength of will to take two hours every day to sit down and read. But knowledge is power. Reading the books that constitute civilizations will give you the ability to give shape to thoughts that would otherwise have remained formless.

I would even go as far as saying that it's better for a person to throw all of his time, passion and energy into training and studying and ignoring the whole "socialize and get drunk in disco's" and visit prostitutes instead to save time and disappointment with frivolous one-night stand girls. Because then, once you finish the stage that prepares you for life, you will be a one-man army, and life will yield to you whatever you require from it. This is super-unorthodox advice that goes against all political correctness. But hey, if someone actually did this, it would at least be Epic.

But then again, I do think that choosing such a committed path in life will take a Character that's only to be found in one in hundred-thousands. Because ordinary people are cliché, and one day they wake up, open the curtains, gaze upon the beaming light of the sun slicing the horizon, and think: "I should try to be president of earth!" and the next moment they see a commercial and they will have forgotten all they just said to themselves. I would go as far as to say that the weak Character of most people is why anything based in mass-appeal systematically undermines civilization.

We have opposite problems, as you have an attractive personality but fear going up to girls, whereas I just don't give a fuck (give me a few drinks and I will approach every girl in the room) but my personality sucks and I can't carry an interesting conversation for the life of me.

My advice is: get a bunch of whack jobs for mates, the kind that slap each other on the back, down pints of beer and do stupid shit. Then play games like shoe golf, where you kick your shoes off in public places (e.g parking lots) aiming for lamp posts, etc. Go out dressed in drag. Become absolutely fearless. Go upto any woman in a club and show absolutely no fear whatsoever. In fact, don't even feel fear, get off on the adrenaline rush - it's better than any other high. If someone tells you to do something stupid, don't think, just do.

The only problem with this of course is that you might affect your esteemed reputation that you described so maybe do some of the above stuff but tone it down a little bit, I dunno. If this bothers you, maybe go to a different town or city for a night with a different (wackier) group of friends where you won't see anyone you know. But I always find it easier to do crazy shit when I am performing for a crowd, i.e. my mates egging me on.

p.s. from personal experience, girls don't get with clowns so don't expect to pull anyone using these antics but you can apply your new found ballsiness to the social circles you already have - you will figure out how to edge in on a girl in a club (oops sorry for bumping ino you!) and then carry out an interesting conversation with the personality you already have.

I have it, but haven't read it. I'm halfway through the Mystery Method, though.
I appreciate that you see that.
Yesterday I read this thread, had too busy a day to reply, but fuck me, this segment hit me hard. Emphatically, it it is how I feel, but why it hit so hard is that I could never articulate this into words. You posted this yourself from your ability to discern my post, so I know you know exactly how I feel. You don't sound like you have the difficulties I have, if I may be so presumptuous, but there is comfort to found in that you recognized it.
True and fair statement.

It is easy to forget that not many who set out to better themselves succeed. I bore this in mind when I went out yesterday, the field report will follow.
I find it hard to be humble. Really. I am very confident in how I speak, walk, go about affairs. The person I want to be is super confident, like this, but in all spheres. However, I think you might be on to something - I might have to tone it down. Again, I appreciate we are busy people, but I will post a field report right after this and it draws on this.
It's not a coincidence that well-read people are often the most well-rounded and developed characters you meet. I am a reader, I do dabble, and I also believe you are absolutely on the money as reading certain (mainly fictional works) books, often the more flamboyant and immersive stuff, always makes me more reflective and aware.
Really evocative. I understand.
Hey man. Interestingly enough, I have a group of friends like that back home. Obviously, at my University people are not like this...But just to emphasize, I do have that balance.

Now, thanks again for the advice gentlemen.

Don't give up on me, because I went out last night and listened to every one of your words.

I'm going to post my field report in a bit. From this, you will know more about me and my attributes, and then perhaps we can work on a plan from there. It was a fun night. I met many a lady...But I need you to take just two minutes out of your day to analyse my field report and let me know what was really going on.

Thanks,
R

From your post it is apparent you have a high degree of self respect, belief, and potential. As such you have a significant jump-start compared to other newbies, and fantastic pylons for which rock solid inner game can be developed without too much grief.

On the flipside, you stating you have never held hands, never kissed a girl tells me you are far too timid in pushing the boundaries and taking risks. You have made it known with this post women are attracted to you, it is yourself that has never acted on said attraction and pulled ballsy moves. Women will be quickly turned off when they come to realise they are pulling the entire weight. Unless she's just THAT into you, you will be hard pressed to find a suitable mate/girlfriend type without acting on a female's attraction to you, separates the men from the boys is what it does.

Truth be told I only started having real success with women when I made the gutsy plays and took risks, whether it was a warm approach, or during an interaction with zero IOIs. Doing so is a spark plug to your confidence, as the success flows as a result, and the realisation rejection is simply a learning curve. Not acting upon female interest and waiting for the gals to come to me was what brought me to this realm in the first place, I never had the tools to take the lead and trudge into unexplored territory.

In short, you possess a considerable amount of self respect, without too much of an extreme makeover, this could be swung in your favour as a significant perk, and your inner game could formulate rapidly. You haven't held hands? Grab that girl's hand at the conversation's intimate peak. Haven't kissed? Take the plunge at the moment of truth. Progressively and relentlessly raise your own bar, venture into parts unknown.

-SilverTonguedFox

Kind thing to say, thank you so much.
Nail is being hit on the head here. Gears definitely began whirring in my mind when reading this. The bolded bit is true of me...I don't like admitting this because it makes me pretty fucking angry, I may have to punch something after posting this (seriously)....But yeah, not acting on interest is an everyday thing for me. A fucking beautiful woman, and I mean I-would-marry-and-have-kids-with-you-and-spend-every-penny-of-my-salary-making-you-happy beautiful woman is expressing a fair bit of interest in me in one of my classes. There are many problems here - she is my dream woman, but if I was to get with her now, then I'd lose her. Why? I'd be rubbish at kissing, because I've never kissed, and be rubbish at sex, because...Yeah, virgin and all that. She likes me because I am high value - in classes, I make the best, more articulate points, speak to the most people, and am most well liked by the tutors. So, I am embarking on this journey to fucking sort my life out. Once I have experience and know what I am doing, I'm pretty damn confident I can bag be an angelic woman (not necessarily her -a few other beauties have shown a lot of interest in my time).

May I ask a quick question? I take your advice - I will try to initiate further contact, but my mind complicates it. When I'm with a girl sometimes it's like, well do I get her number, shall I make her my girlfriend, or shall I just kiss her or whatever. Typing now...I think it's more rational to get experience, so lets say from this moment on I kill this bs by making the decision to just hold hands and try and get that first kiss. I accept this. Now, my question....When do you kiss? Do you just do it, or do you build attraction, or...what?

I am creating this plan in my mind right now:
1) Open. Be confident, demonstrate value.
2) Build attraction. Not too sure how I do this, but I think I will do it as follows: Talk enough to find a hooking point, a common interest if you will. From this, I can justify my attraction by making it seem I like her because of this. The next objective is to get comfortable.
3) Comfort zone. When there's no nerves and we're basically pretty chill.
4) Action. Errr..Then I guess I try to do something?

....Essentially, this is a nebulus, grey area for me. I want direction. I would like someone to spell out to me the best way to hold hands or get a kiss.

I respect you're all busy people, but my first field report is up. And, guess what? Same problem applies. Please give me your time by saving my field report journal to your bookmarks. If you'd be so kind, drop me your e-mail, so I can add you to the list I will alert when there's new stuff in my field report. Why am I so crass as to pull you towards my field report so much? Because I need your the most. I ask for only 15-20 minutes a week. With this...You can change a guys life. This is between creating more happiness in the world, allowing good genes to be passed on (you're helping your species), and taking a back seat. What's more...I will actually do what you say, and I will actually show you the results if I get them. Please have faith in my commitment - I can't stop, because I've got no choice. Life and death here.

Field Report #1
the-uk-frustrated-mega-virgin-fights-th ... 52160.html


Reading time: 10 mins.
Summary: Went to a party at a pub, did a lot of socializing, one girl was particularly interested (I liked her too), but my dynamics with her showed no sense of direction and as such, a chance for escalation was not massively obvious. When I stood her still and was a bit physical with her, it was pretty sexy...In retrospect I feel as if I could have kissed her then...But at the time, my untrained mind did not have the tools or the framework to make anything happen. Rest assured that approaches were many. About 8. It was easy as everyone had a common interest.
Requests: Perhaps an analysis, with your theoretical understanding, of what was going on in the girl's mind. Was she actually interested? And, how could I have got her more interested?

Thanks for reading,
A fun fact your you alll...I bought a copy of Rules of the Game some time ago, flick open the cover today and it seems it's personally signed by Neil Strauss! It's signed: "Game Aint Based On Sympathy" - Positive omens? Time will tell.

R

Thank you for taking in all these advices and contemplating them and then making them weigh on your behaviour.

Know that the culture we live in works against the men. I have never spontaneously kissed a girl because you will be accused of being a rapist so I have always first held hands with them. You should do what I did many times. Find a girl through online and drive her crazy with emails of a subtle erotic nature. Then once you meet her you KNOW you can do anything you want with her and there will be no anxiety whatsoever.

A good link exchange!

_________________
Dubli

Thank you informed me.

_________________
Dubli

If you were to not take action as you have been doing, you would end up in the exact same place down the road, without her. Albeit with less experience, fewer stories to tell, and far less progression on the journey's path. Consider two options. In six months time you will be without her (worst case scenario as you described). Had you sat at that table, taken one route, got up from your chair, gamed her, wooed her, made the love and called her your own, you would be twice the man you are now, with lightning rod confidence to your name. Had you instead sat at your table, daydreamed, and not taken action, you would be forever haunted by a road not taken, and watch as she rode off into the sunset. I personally much prefer getting a definitive answer from a lady I am attracted to, than sitting on the sidelines and forever questioning what if?
I am a sizeable advocate of not thinking robotically when interacting with a female. If you have a clear cut agenda, it will stifle the flow of the conversation, and you will be dwelling on your next possible move, instead of actually listening to what she is saying. During the conversation, gauge how interested she is in you, and act accordingly. Getting a number is always a fine start regardless of how she responds, but proposing her with girlfriend status comes later. If you watch some PUAs on Youtube, you will see in interactions they will propose a kiss scenario out of relatively thin air. The girl's are often taken aback, yet they do succeed. I don't champion this way, as I prefer to be smooth in my doings and feel it is an awkward way of going about it. All about the route in which you prefer friend.
As mentioned above, you can attempt a cold kiss close, but it isn't my style. This isn't my way or the highway, but I have my own methods. Kino is best as a gradual buildup. Start by slowly making body contact, and as it progresses, it can become more intimate, to holding hands, to grinding each other etc. It is rather critical as it passively demonstrates your sexual spark/intentions, and separates you from the cheery kid simply looking to meet and greet. I don't go straight for the hand grab, I ease into it, and that allows me to determine whether she is receptive or not. If she isn't, two steps forward, one step back. If you have received significant IOIs, then it is safe to go for the kiss. If you haven't, you can probe. When she say's something while in an opportune spot, I often drop "Yikes you ______? And here I was about to kiss you lady." Her response will allow you to dictate where you are at.
Accentuate your best traits/abilities. In essence it rests on what man you are trying to be. Personally when I attract, I use my considerable natural wit and charm, coupled with proper body language and vocal tonality/delivery, in which demonstrates I am a spontaneous one of a kind. I am largely playful, yet carry a manly voice and presence, all the while displaying my sexual intent and building up kino. Differentiate yourself from the pack.
Hard to determine, what IOIs did she give? Can go as subtle as where were her feet pointing? Was she fully invested? Did she re-initiate conversation during lulls? Share how she responded and as such, we can make a judgement call.

-SilverTonguedFox

Not sure about that, really not. I warn you against this advice.

I spent seven Epic nights with some super beautiful girl, however she bailed due to her anxiety commitment issues and because she was in the top three of beautiful women I saw in my lives, I still can´t real satisfaction from my girlfriend no matter how many times I do her. With my current girlfriend I skip the foreplay because the contrast with the extremely pure beautiful form of my ex is too striking. My GF sensed that I stopped being hard yesterday during the sex evening and she asked me what was wrong. Then she cried and I kissed her tears away and cuddled up to her and told her she has a beautiful personality and that it is not her fault. Now she is trying to lose weight to become this 46 kg body like this ex girlfriend of mine, with whom I never skipped foreplay, instead, I felt extatic during the foreplay, as if a power lifted me beyond myself. My current girlfriend loves sex a lot, as do I, so we do it like three times every night or more but I don´t feel that extremely complete satisfaction as that I felt as when I was with the dream woman. And my girlfriend knows this and suffers because of it.

The advice is to either act upon his attraction to this girl, and gain invaluable experience, or not act and forever sit at the table considering what if, making no progress on his newfound venture. As stated by his post, this is a colossal sticking point, and as referenced by himself above, not acting upon female interest and pushing himself is an everyday thing for him.

You are advising against him tackling and grappling his fear by the horns? If he takes the latter course above, he makes zero progress, and is held victim by the ties which bind him once more.