Hi Guys!.

I'm new at this forum, but i'm really looking forward to see what's going on in here. I'm a 21 years old guy from Denmark, living in a city called Aarhus. I was in a relationship with a beautiful girl for 5 years, but that ended a year ago, and i was really hurt.

I moved to London and lived there for 8 months, to get away from everything and to get new experiences and learn about my self. It worked. I got over her, i became wiser about my self and i feel stronger. However i still have some problems, and that's why i signed up here. I read the game a couple of days ago and i was really inspired about it!

I'm working as a writer and in my sparetime, i doing stand-up comedy. Not 100 % professional, but i earn some money on it. A lot thinks, that Comedians must be filled with confidence, and sure a lot of us are. I'm confident about a lot of things about myself. I don't mind perform infront of hundreds of people and i'm confident about girls, aslong as it's someone that i know good. But when it comes to strangers, i'm such a pussy. I get really nervous and i mentally just black out.. Sure, i could easily open a girl, maybe not with confident, but i don't think it's hard approching a girl. Either with a rehearsed opener or with a question like " Are there any good bars around here?". But after i opened her, i have no idea what to say or do. The only thing i could think of is "So... Thursday, huh?.. Ofc. i don't say it, but that's about what my mind can think of!.

So i'm here to get challenged, to learn and get better! It's a long intro i know, but now you know who i am:)

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

I used to do stand up comedy as well, so I understand how the confidence of working on a large stage doesn't quite translate to confidence in smaller groups. Everyone in your audience already wants to listen to you. A stranger most likely won't.

From what you've written, I think your issue is that you're setting yourself up for dead-end, interrogation style conversations. Right now you're asking "know any good bars?" The only place that can lead to is a yes/no answer, and then some beating around the bush.

A much better solution would be to say something along the lines of "Man, the london nightlife sucks, not nearly as much to do as my old city." Something that could elicit multiple responses. Most likely she'll disagree, but it won't end at "yes" and a set of directions to a bar. Then you've got the posibility of her asking you questions and displaying interest in you.

Conversations shouldn't be forced. They should be given potential in their initiation, and allowed to flow on from there.

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-Doru

You are 100 % right. The thing about the bars, is not something i've asked people about, but when i have the conversation in my head, that's the rediculos questions that pops up in my head.

I think my problem is, that i think to much.

I'm going to a private party on saturday, where i only know a few people. I'm brining a good friend of mine with me, who also read the game a couple a days ago. So were going to try some routines, if we get that far.

I wouldn't mind going up to a girl, and try to open with the jaloux girlfriend, or the little napkin/paper in my hand, (that was on her back). But after that, i have no clue about what to do?. We could talk about the jaloux girlfriend for a short amount of time, but when that topic dies and if she or he friends hasn't put out any hooks, then what? In my head it would go straight back to.... "soooo.. Satursdays..... huh?"..

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!

You can be funny in scripted comedy and not funny in real time.

You have time to think over your jkes and material in advance.

improv comedy is the hardest, real comics the real funny ones are able to improv.

Same thing with pua, scripted bs doesnt work, its not about what you say, but how you say and how you react.

If you are a funny guy, you shouldnt have a problem entertaining women. Just keep doing it, it will get easier.

Hmm well I'm not such a big fan of canned routines. Personally I wouldn't use them, but it's important to understand their structure and why they work.

As I said, any opener that you'll use will work. For going a bit deeper, you might want to stop thinking about filling that silent void. In fact, if you've reached that silent void, then you've already forfeit the conversation--save for one little trick that I've used:

(conversation goes silent)
(I smile--not a toothy smile, but a dreamy half-smirk)
me: you know what?
(girl looks at me)
me: I hate the term "awkward silence." Silence is peaceful, and meditative.

If she talks at that point, tell her jokingly that you were, as you said, enjoying the silence. Otherwise, I go on and tell her that I meditate, and we go off on a conversation about meditation.


Here's another pattern I like to use:
me: so, what do you do?
girl: (responds with profession/major/etc)
me: no, that's your profession/major. What do you do?
Generally, she'll then pause and start thinking, because no one's ever asked her that kind of question before. Usually, they'll come back with a boring answer. "I sit around on the internet" or something like that. Let's face it, your life ain't so different than that either, we all live like veal in front of light boxes. Poke fun at her, be like, "...that's it?" This is where you come in with your own aggrandized answer. If you give it some time and thought, you can easily come up with something you could use as an off-the-cuff answer. It works as a great DHV and neg. It also gives you a good indication of her self esteem and whether or not she is interested in you.

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-Doru

Doru that last pattern you suggested sounds really great im going to use it this weekend!

Hey guys!

Thanks for the awesome replys!.

Danish is a shit language, and the sentances you say to girls in english just sounds so good. But when i translate it to danish, it's really,, baah. Danish is not a pretty language and i really miss the time in London, flirting is much easier, when the language is better .

But i really like your "routines". Tha Akward silence is good, because you actually talk about it, and in that way get it to disappear.

I like the other one aswell, but that's a bit more difficult in danish though.

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!