Hey guys!

Found this forum today after looking for a good place to get advice. I have read the Game from Neil Straus and double your dating from David De Angelo.

Both books were real eye openers but for some strange reason i can't really apply them in my relationship iam in right now, so this is the reason i joined this awesome forum where i am sure there are great personalities who can help me with my issues.

Thanks for reading and keep it up!

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Welcome

What's the issue you're having with applying game to your relationship?

Hey bro!

Many things man! I wanted to make a thread in the relationship section but i need 20 posts so iam working on that right now so i can post my threat and hopefully the so needed help!

I will update this post with a link to the threat when i wrote it, you sound like a nice guy and would love some advice from you!

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Haha not sure about 'nice guy' but I'm happy to help

If you want to ask a question feel free to ask it here, I'll help if I can.

Ok thanks man! I will just post it here then! And yes "Nice" is not a word you want associated with yourself xD


I am 20 and my girlfriend turns 17 in a month. We have been together for 2 months now. From date 1 up untill now i was all nice to her and talked online ( SPAM/msn) with her everyday 24/7. The first 3 weeks were going great, i saw her in the weekends and we usually watched a movie at my place, we usually had sex and i thought i was doing great as being her boyfriend.

Then after 3 weeks or so things started changing, the "i love you" and "honey texts" were no longer there anymore and she did not really like talking to me because she always gave me short answers on things and when i asked do i see you this weekend she said, "well see" or "no, go hang out with your friends."

We had a pretty big fight over this, i told her she changed and shouldn't treat me with such disrepect, first 3 weeks all nice and then suddenly bitchy, she told me she dont want this bullshit again, had this happen many times in past relationships, she has 23 exes to be exact and this is my first so i kinda took it and said ok honey and i did not see her that weekend.

After 1 month it was going good again but she still never texts me goodmorning or calling me honey 45 times a day on SPAM like she used to in our first weeks of being together. All we do now is whatsap each other like 5 times a day, she asks what are you doing or she says iam bored or going to paps.

She does not have any money so i pay for everything! Cinemas, flowers for valentine, neckless.


I made a fake account on msn as i know she is shallow and accepts anyone, she also has 300 guys on facebook who tell her shes hott on pictures etc and she likes it more then anything so i started bonding with her on msn to find out if she is cheating on me or not, or willing to and to get a good view on how she thinks about me because she would never tell.

Turns out she finds me immature. And also she is not happy in the relationship ( her words ) So i asked why not breakup with him? She said i dont know.

I know this girl is not a saint and iam probbaly just a number to her but yet i dont want to fail on this! And i really like being around her a we have lots of fun and she is quite hot.

I think we all know what my problem is here which is that iam being a woosy and should never have give her so much power over me. But since its my first relationship i ask you to have some sympathy for me.

I made a plan to turns things around from now on and stop being that woosy/boring guy. But every book tells you to be cocky/funny from the start, and never drop it! But i have been a woos from the start so don't you think i can't change things around in this stage anymore.

My plan is as follows:

- Spicing up things ( on msn she told the fake account she hates doing the same thing over and over ) So i will stop asking her for watching a movie at my place.

- Not buying her shit anymore.

- Acting more mature, no more dumb jokes or being annoying.

- Paying less attention to her, taking more distance, stop being a woos and becoming more dominant.

- Not asking her out anymore, she has to ask me!

- Not telling her shes cute or using honey and i love you anymore.


The problem i see here is whenever i do such thing as not answering her SPAM text, she becomes mad and start telling me that i dont love her anymore etc so i turn back to the woose and say, no offcourse not honey, i just didn't have time to answer it. So how could i prevent this from happening if everytime i try to become the badboy she gets mad and wants to leave me.

Also what things can i do to make things better again? So iam in charge and she asks me to hang out the weekend? Should i call her maybe sometime as we never called in 2 months, all we do is SPAM or msn. This might break the pattern a little of being predictable.

I really need a lot of help and would really appricate any feedback i can get! Thanks!

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Ok big time alarm bells here bro.

You're with a girl who has no money, requiring you to pay for everything? And this same girl admitted to a stranger (secretly you) on the internet that she was bored in the relationship you have financed? And you suspect her/are worried about her cheating so much you created a fake internet persona and interacted with your own girlfriend through it?

Why are you so determined to stay with this girl man? She sounds like a golddigger who does not deserve your time or money. At the absolute very least I would start getting a ton of 'backup girls' lined up so you at least have options.

Thanks Lockdown for the reply!

I know what your saying and yes i had zero trust in her because of so many guys posting on her facebook saying she's shot and stuff and her liking that, she gets a new guy friend on it everyday plus the 23 exes she had and the way she treats me made me insecure and drove me crazy so i had to find out whats up with this girl by making a fake msn account.

On this account i made best friends with her and she even accepted we could meet up when iam in the neighberhood just to chill as friends. So i asked would your boyfriend be ok with you meeting up with random guys? Her response: My boyfriend has nothing to say about me, i can meet up with anyone i want. She did say that nothing more then friends could come out of it as long as she has a boyfriend but i just dont get why you would want to meet-up with random internet guys...

Anyway to answer your question why i want to invest time in this girl is that i just really like being around her and that she has some sort of a sad life ( broke up parents, poor family ( never been on vacation ), got raped when she was younger by a friend of her and many bad boyfriends so i just want to show her that there also good guys out there, i want to make her happy!

But it kinda backfired on me big time, cause i am feeling miserable all the time and we come from 2 different lifes, i dont think this girl wants a nice guy who treats her well although she said she likes sweet and carrying guys who are not bragging or acting tough.

So please give me some advice on how to get her to show me more respect and to ask me out to do things or text me when she wakes up.

Thanks so much!

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Just a couple of observations before answering your question specifically.

It sounds like a major part of what you need to look at here is your own attitude towards the girl. The amount of jealousy/worry caused by other guys being into her...believe me I've been there myself in the past. The turning point for me came when I realised that being with someone has to involve total trust. If she wants to cheat, she's going to cheat. There's nothing we can do about it. Another person's actions are entirely outside of our control, and therefore worrying about them is in no way productive, and in fact probably makes cheating more likely due to the paranoia/jealousy from the boyfriend.

Anyway, with regards to what you specifically asked...

Think about a way you could bring up your needs in the relationship with this girl in a way which would get her to comply. Every girl is different so the exact way you ask should depend on her and her personality. But a general rule would be to ask her when she's happy, up for talking, not tired/hungry etc. In a good 'state'.

You also need to figure out how much of a relationship sticking point this is for you. If you absolutely require a girl who initiates contact or whatever it is you're seeking, you need to make that clear to her. If she's not that girl, then don't try and make her be. Just find someone who is.

Also always show positive reinforcement if she does what you want her to. Make her feel good when she does the things you need, and by all means freeze her out, don't give her your time etc when she doesn't.

Hope that helps in some way man, feel free to ask if you need anything else. I relate to what you're going through from my own past so more than happy to help you through this if possible.

Thanks Lockdown for another great replie!

Your right about not controlling who someone really is, if she wants to cheat she will cheat so i will stop being jealous towards other guys and her meeting up with "Friends".

The thing is is that she used to be that girl who contacted me 45 times a day and gave me lots of attention but only for the first 3 weeks so because of my pussy behavior of always answering her texts and always being super nice towards her, giving compliments and even being nice to her when she was mad she lost interest in me for all the reasons i read on this board!

So yes i will do as you say about rewarding good behavior and punishing bad. Talking to me a lot and asking me things to do is good behavior for me so any tips of how i should reward that as our relationship is mostly over the Internet( SPAM/texts ) For bad behaviour such as when i ask: "Do i see you this weekend?", she quite often types: "Haha why?" or: "I dont know" so on those questions i say because i like to see my girlfriend at least once a week! Then she usually says go hang out with your friends.

So i should just ignore the question after i dont know or haha why right? Freeze out for like 2 days but you know what happens then.... she will get mad for ignoring and probably start thinking about breaking-up, i know to keep a girl you should not be afraid to lose her but easier said then done!

Good example was yesterday, i asked her Tuesday to go to her grandma's to chill, she said "We have to see" and i said "Ok". THen neither of us said a word after that, this was tuesday evening, then yesterday evening(wednesday) at 6:30 she SPAM me: "Honey, i can't go to grandma, got massive homework." i only typed: "k". After that she said: "Sorry honey". 4 hours later she asked me: "What your doing honey?" i ignored, right before she went to bed she typed: "Tim?" ( thats my real name) i saw on her facebook she also said: "Laying in bed with a strange feeling".

I replied this morning saying nothing about yesterday, just: "Morning, good luck at the hospital today, and say hi to your dad for me."

Did i handle this situation well? ( Oh and she really did have homework, my fake msn account was watching over the cam, she said to him, you can watch me make homework if you like ).

It might also help to know that she is very dominant herself but she can be sweet as well, i think she is some sort of a player herself due of the 23 exes she had who probably taught her a lot!

Really looking forward to hearing from you!

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.