Ambition - I like your name man.
I too recently got out of a Long Term Relationship and looking back I see a lot of mistakes that I made and how I failed myself and her. I have definitely fallen into the trap of over-analyzing everything I am doing and am working hard to restrain/retrain my observing ego back to a useful-instead of paralyzing-level.
Quote:
my main goals:
1. be able to gain anyones approval
In my experience and I believe everyone's experience approval seeking behavior is extremely unattractive. Think about it, surely there has been someone in your life that has really looked up to you and sought your approval. Did you respect them or did you look down on them? When you have sought out the approval of a man you perceived as higher status than you, how did that work out? Have you ever tried to gain a beautiful woman's approval? Approval is something that can not be accomplished with typical approval seeking behavior.
This is something I struggle with on both sides. What I am learning to do is approve and be comfortable with Myself and not be so concerned with what others might think. I believe that accepting one's self for one's self is where the greatest calmness and confidence comes from. It's only when we are approving of ourselves that we can approach those we approve of, as equals in social status and power.
Good luck with your journey, may it be fun and fruitful!