hi ive lurk on here once and awhile, but never posted so il tell you my story and thing about me and any advice or help would be nice

(pros)
athletic
higher than average smart
good at video games and sport (but dont like to do much sport other than gym.
good a everything i put my mind to but socialising
healthy
good looking
value my life

(cons)
im very shy and timid
dont talk much
19 years old never had a girlfriend or sex
socially arkward
social anxiety(get anxiety over anything new)
dont like confrontation
poor vocabulary and english
overthinker
day dream about how good my life could be
very poor
dont have a good memory
dont know how to let go and have fun
think i might be shallow
hate myself and others.

The only thing going for my in my life is studying other than that im doing nothing i stay at home every night wantting to hang at club or with friend and hate myself for not going out at nights.

i have very little friend groups and even in the my group of friend i dont talk. i only talk when 4 max are around and when i do talk its not much. i dont fit in well with groups.

i have nothing to give in conversation dont know how to make long convasation even with 2 people dont mind listening to people.
i even find it hard to talk on facebook and dont use it becasue im scared of being judged by other for multipule reason including(not having a girlfriend or ever having sex, getting ask weired questions, or someone paying me out).
even though everone uses facebook.

i try to ask my friend to hang but there always busy. i try to make new ones but because of all of the above find it very hard.

when i was in my teens i always played video games and my friends wanted to hang but all i wanted to do was playgames online i could of had many girlfriend aswell but was too shy or timid to ask them out even when they came up to me. so i didnt really socialise and my friend online would always pay me out and bring my ego down.
back in primary school i use to be the life of the party shy but i would take risks and they always payed off.

ive dont think i have ever had someone care for me in my life other than my mum and my dad but dad left when i was 12. i think i got the shyness from my mother father is also from another country.

someday i wish to be very good at talking to people and become the life of the party again.

ive been doing consuling with a therapist and still find it hard, ive havent been happy in a long time and im lost to who i am.
really need an big ego boost but dont know how to get it

Man, sounds like your running into the dark period in your life. I'm glad your looking for a way out instead of someone pulling you out. If you can stand up on your own, you'll feel 100 times better than having someone pulling you up.

I would recommend you reading some inspirational stories to help motivate you. Get your heart going and making you want to go out and conquer the world! I always see it as an act when I approach a women. I'm there to entertain her. If I succeed she'll entertain me back. So take some acting class. Speech class to improve your communication skills in loud clubs. Something I've been looking to learn as I studded a bit and can't organize my thought before I speak. After you accomplish something you want to improve your confidence(or ego) will boost.

Good luck to you man. Don't beat too harshly on yourself. Go watch the 40 year old virgin. It still cracks me up and gives me the feeling there's always hopes. Another feel good movie would be forest gump.

Hope that helped.

-Jax

Back when i was in Primary school i can relate to what you'r feeling now, i was socially awkward and didn't really have a good grip of what life is about. Now all that has changed except for the lack of beautiful women but hey its a work in progress. at the start of high school i was still awkward and had no positive social mannerisms. Everything changed when i started going to the gym. honestly changed my life in a way that i couldn't have imagined, sounds rather stupid but going from a lanky pale kid to having a body i was proud of changed everything in my interactions with people and mindset. It wasn't looking good that changed me it was the sense of self worth it gave me. I hope the best for you man because i know those situations where you wonder why you cant be like those other people and whats wrong with you. Find something that gives you something to be proud of something that makes you happy and do it. The longer the climb the greater the reward.
Don't dwell on negative things. Only worry about your progress and not others.
There's a lot of good videos on youtube with great motivators giving their outlooks on life, all that sht helped me out so all i can do is wish it helps you out too. Good luck buddy -N

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"The man who wins is the one who thinks he can"