| "Hey guys, I need your help with something"
And that's where my mind goes blank. I stand there, poor body language as I can feel my self-confidence shattering before their very eyes, silence growing as I fight to find the words.
The body turn, I get the cold shoulder. I can't really blame them - that was a lame attempt. I walk away, shake it off and figure out what I did wrong. No opener.
Okay, let me start with the who-lies-more line.
As a relative 6/7 walks by, I say:
"Hey, can I get a female opinion on something? Who lies more? Men or women?"
"Women."
And she walks away immediately.
Okay... This must be my body language... I have to assume it's me because if it were someone else that was confident, or at least competent, she might have stuck around.
Got it.
Okay, there's a 3-set. They're all like 5's, but at this point I just want to get out there.
I start with the David Bowie opener - lasts a good minute, but I think I drag it on too long. Then I forget what transition I was going for and boom. I can immediately see their body language closing up and I pull for the rip cord.
I'm sure you've all been here, what I went through last night, at some point or another. Hell - I'm sure even the best get blown out just because they weren't what the girl at that time was what they were looking for.
Now to be fair, the funny thing is that I've been a long term relationship guy. I've had HOT girlfriends in long term relationships since I was 16. 3 year through highschool, another blonde hottie until I was 24, then a beauty until 29. My last g/f was a nude model, photographer, yoga instructor, and Bi. She was the whole package. But I was growing tired of the LTR stuff, and decided I NEED to learn how to pick up. I had a taste of it between relationships... I knew this was something I needed to do.
Anyway, for the last month, I've been researching, buying books, and trying to learn all I can about Mystery method. I have the entire larger picture down. In fact, a LOT of the techniques used I've been doing naturally for a while but in my relationships.
Here's where I get stuck and since I know this is my first post, and it's my "introduce yourself" post, I'll post these questions elsewhere. I figure if I need to, I can simply put my story here and link back if needed.
So I get stuck not in C1-C3 or even S1-S3. I am the typical nice-guy who has lived more than long enough in C1-C3 hahaha
I get stuck in A1-A3. I know completely that once I get into C1, this is where *MY* natural games comes out. I know how to be interesting, I know how to be funny and attractive. I also know when to freeze out, when to reward and when to progress things.
A1-A3 is the part where the majority of my insecurities lie.
I was picked on a LOT in Elementary, somewhat in Middle school and occasionally in High school... But from a child psychology perspective the damage was done.
I'm not socially awkward. In fact, I strive in the fact that I can be socially intuitive. I can read body language better than most (I've studied psychology for several years including hypnosis, NLP (Which granted is more of a pseudo science), and just general social interaction) and feel from an educational perspective, I have quite the leg up on most people (PUA's included) from a knowledge aspect.
But here's where this becomes my problem. I'm not intimidated by 10's. In fact, most of my g/fs have been 9's or 10's. Once I get comfortable with them, I can happily control and guide conversation, be intuitive and so forth.
It's the A1-A3 section that kills me. Hell, if I could get past A1 and A2, I think I could handle A3 just fine too.
I feel like what I'm saying is unnatural or contrived. My body language doesn't match my words because my body language betrays my words, which creates incongruence in my message.
I DO care what people think about me, I DO care if I look silly and what's worse is that I'm in my own head most of the time.
So I know what I need to get over. This is why I'm here. I need to figure out HOW, whether it's simply practice over and over until what I'm going for becomes me, whether I need to be someone's wing for a while to help learn the game better... or maybe I legitimately need some solid game success to boost my confidence.
I'm not a bad looking guy - I'm 30 years old, 185 lbs, 5'11" and in mostly good shape. No 6pack here, but not muffin-topping either. I have a reasonable sense of style though admittedly I could use a hand, I make good money and so on - blah blah blah.
The real kicker: I'm a professional master-level facilitator for my job. I am in front of people quite frequently where your body language conveys your confidence. When I'm in front of a class, I control and command the room. I'm one of the best in the business according to FKA/CTT+ accreditations.
Put me in a classroom: I am Alpha-Male to the n'th degree.
Take the same me and put me in a club, and I'm the socially awkward kid that I used to be back in 5th grade. (The pinnacle of my nerd-dom, though middle school was bad even though I did have a few girlfriends in grade 9 that were not unreasonable)
For those of you who read the beginning and then the end of posts (Yes, I do know how psychology works. Our short attention span makes sure of this lol) the "Too Long Didn't Read, or TL;DR in reddit form is this:
I have everything going for me. Decent looks, pretty good shape. I have a beautiful 4 bedroom 4 bathroom house, a nice car, I travel the world on a regular basis, have had several beautiful long-term girlfriends. I'm intelligent and have decided to study the game from a MM aspect to see how well I can get at this.
But I'm a social introvert, and used to have a general contempt for humanity instead of embracing people. I'm not socially awkward, just have a REALLY hard time with A1-A3 of MM.
The big question is: What is your motivation to keep going, after you've had so many attempts that just bomb? How do you get out of your own head and start being in the moment? How do you practice your body language to display confidence and finally: If you travel a lot for work and frequently travel alone, how is solo game different than your game with friends when you go out?
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CHAT
