Hi guys.
well i think you all can guess why im here.. pretty similar to why a lot of people joined this forum i guess...
I just thought i should really post a little bit about me, so i can get some direction.

Problem:
Single for 7 years, i wasn't even looking for 5 - i had some, personal issues, to deal with, but when i started looking again, i kinda forgot how. No success since then.

Pros:
I work out - i'm not completely buff, but i'm in better shape than most guys my age (29)
I dress well - again better than most guys
- I can have really long deep conversations..but with the right people - and this is where it gets into the cons haha.
Girls DO check me out - i only started noticing this 2-3 weeks ago. they open up their bodies, like face me, and look at me.. i just forget to talk to them

Cons:
I have completely forgotton how to flirt
I struggle to make eye contact i.e. when a girl looks at me, i look away and we never talk
It's hard for me to keep things fun and flirtatious
i think i can come across as too intense..

And the final pro:
I'm in a university doing a masters degree. There are an INCREDIBLE amount of really hot girls here.. i leave in 6 months, i don't think i've ever seen so many hot girls in one place in my life... now.... i just need the skills..

thanks for reading guys - any tips/tricks/ direction to threads would be much appreciated.

wow, so much info on here - i already feel more confident lol...

just been reading some of the terminology.... i got a girl's number on the bus a few days ago, i texted her once, she texted back, i texted again, then no reply...
is that a standard thing now haha.. i used to think that getting a number meant girls were definitely interested, i guess theres a lot more to play for?

Right - 48 odd hours in..
just been reading so much, it's amazing how much i see in what girls have done to me, and how i 'messed up' by doing stuff like taking value, displaying low status, seeking validation, congruence test fails....
and oh, when a girl says to me, tell me a story, i tell her, i don't know any stories HAHA..
It's funny though, before i didn't realise anything, now i'm starting to see...
and the best bit of advice that i've learnt... and yes i may have misinterpreted it..

girls WANT to talk to me, they're just too shy to do so, so when i talk to them, i'm doing them the favour, not the other way around, because they've been waiting for me to approach me, and i'm about to make their life more fun...
wow..
also, i need to start getting funnier, like light funny, but my mind is exploding right now with so much info..this place is awesome.

I might as well make this into a mini-blog till i get on my feet...
i had to have a late night business meeting just now...
went to a salsa place as it happens.. so many HOT girls and their weren't enough men for them to dance with.. i think i'll deffo go again..
i struggled to make eye contact, i was in a meeting anyway, i didn't want to come across as if i was checking out girls... but then that's where i prob went wrong..
and then i had approach anxiety when getting the bus back, girl also in the queue.. i guess you'd call her an HB8.. i thought yeah i'll talk to her... but i didn't....

all i can say is, at least now i know where im going wrong... i know what approach anxiety is, so now i'll learn how to counter it... i'd love a wingman, or just someone close i could chat to about this shit, but sadly, not happening SPAM.
i'm still excited though... i feel like i have a power i didn't have before.. self-confidence...

Day 3-
Smiling a lot more, exuding more confidence - learn't about this thing called 'vibe' - you want people to be around you, so you be positive..
obviously im completely new at it but it's fun, still need to figure out how to maintain positive vibe when people kill it.. but yeah, people definitely noticed i was happy today, and i caught a few girls smiling at me... i didn't talk to them, but i liked the fact i bloody maintained eye contact till they looked away haha!

was talking to this girl, and she had a male friend with her - didn't know how to treat it, so made him a 'friend', got him involved in the convo, but i don't really see how that helped...
i think the girl is shy and she liked me, but why is that 'i think' instead of 'i know'... because i DIDNT tell her i liked her, though i gave her one compliment, and made up one silly nick for her, i didn't kino escalate, but i did look for a way to get close to her, so i could, we were sitting too far apart, but yeah...
its all part of learning..
i'm gonna try to text flirt with her tonight or tomorrow, just need to read that thread again on it lol...

I ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT I DO WRONG NOW LMAO --
wait that's not true, i need to learn a lot more of what i'm doing wrong, before i start doing right..
but u know, that confidence, it works...

and oh, probably the best thing i did..
i'm going to a valentine singles night on 15th feb with a few friends, including a female friend i asked to come with me.. i have no inclinations towards her, but i read something about 'pre-qualifiying' i.e. being seen with girls is seen as attractive, so yeah, i did that...
this is fun...

edit: just thought of one thing more, she would have let me hug her when we met...lol, but i didn't do it...next time, with whichever girl, i know to be bolder.

Day 4 -
Well today, i didn't talk to any new girls =(..
however, I did sort out a wingman to do the newbie mission, i figured i should get one because A) It will force me to follow through on it, B) It will probably be a lot more fun if we can laugh and joke at all the stuff that happens... i'll probably do the newbie mission sometime this week -
my mind is kinda all over the place regarding the stuff i'm learning, because there is SO much to this... yet at the same time from what i can figure out, its 'simple'
1) Be confident, display value
2) Be clear about your interests - you're not out there to make a female friend who will tell you about the hot guy she's fucking 2 weeks down the line.. you ARE that guy
3) Have a laugh, smile, make eye contact - remember you're in power.. you made the move, now she has to qualify herself to you.. if she says no, it doesnt matter..

okay the list is getting long lol, but those above are some of the main lessons i've learnt so far...
i've vaguely learnt 'the cube'.. i have NO idea when to use it though lol....
and oh, i'm going to a salsa night tomorrow - there will be a LOT of single girls there, and i will have female friends there.... i won't lie, i'm nervous because its been a long time since i 'DHV'd with girls - i realise i do way too much DLV, i don't want to come across as inauthentic - i want to go out and have fun..
hopefully, fingers crossed, i'lll report after i guess..

Day 5 -
wow interesting day..
made eye contact with a girl in the gym, she wasnt all that, but what was signficant was that i held eyes with her till she looked away, that's sooo hard for me to do, or was.

then on the bus to uni, a girl was sitting ahead of me, i knew she was smiling, i had a sneaky suspicion she was waiting for me to talk to her, i had very briefly spoken to her a month back... so i thought, lets wait till the bus is almost at uni, then if i mess up convo, it wont get awkward...
well i do that, i talk to her, i got waayyyyyyyy too much adrenaline in me so my voice went dry, she did smile at me, and she could tell i was interested, which are both good signs haha, she didn't even give me her name before she got off the bus lol, however, i think we established enough rapport that i'm gonna gently tease her next time i see her, as 'the girl who didn't give me her name'.....
i got a massive headrush, that's the first time i've cold opened since i was maybe 21...and only second time in my life... it felt good...

walked to class, and immediately saw 3 girls waiting for class to start taking photos.. joked with them, one was.... ok this is going to sound bad, but i think its interesting how my mind works... she was HB7 to me, but i don't normally go for black girls, for the black guys in the class, she is the prettiest girl there.....
so anyway, i had no plan to 'isolate' her, get her number or whatever, but we just ended up talking more, i made eye contact... i held her hands a bit too long when we gave our names to each other...
she was definitely feeling my vibes lol....
i completely ignored a guy who was trying to destroy my vibe, and she dug that...
i COULD have got her number, but class started and i had sooo much shit to do, i can get it next week...
and i think she could have been up to going to salsa night tonight...


went to salsa class in evening
i have NEVER danced before in my life.... it was actually quite nerve wracking at first, but friend's gf showed me some very basic moves... and after that, i relaxed more... i didn't approach any girls there... but it was nice to be 'uncomfortable', and become comfortable again...

and finally, i saw the girl again who gave me her number in day minus1, and then didn't really reply...
and you know what. I just did not give a fuck.
Goodbye Oneitis =)

best day so far since i joined this forum

Sounds good!

_________________
Diamond pendant necklace

Day 6-
First came the newbie high, now comes the newbie low...

very long day, i wasn't feeling it, i had a lot of study to do.. i randomly came across girl from yesterday, did some terrible flirting and pretty much implied she should come salsa dancing with me on sunday... no game, no positive vibes, me just tired..
and then she said.. 'i hardly know you'... of course she doesn't, i just came across as a random guy.....

debrief: doesn't matter if ur tired or anything, the groundwork you lay, is always happeneing, if u present an image as a happy guy, if ur tired with no game, a girl who's seen you only once is going to get turned off lol.. i've pretty much ruined my chances with her... im not THAT bothered, but i am annoyed that its like missing an open goal..

i don't really know about doing the newbie mission either, i think it may be too forced, however i DO need to talk to girls and make better eye contact... i'll do it over the next couple of days...i.e. by sunday probably, we will see...

i read another thread yesterday which said journalling is good... writing this, i can see that... it does help!

day 6 edit -
coz i feel a bit down, thought i'd do 2 things..
one, coz i'm pretty 'happy', with this... i havent *cough*... masturbated since i joined this forum...
it just seems so lame compared with the real thing, i'm not using much self control, i just am not interested in it SPAM..

2nd thing - i emailed this girl just now about horse-riding classes, i had put my name down last week for uni societies, it just clicked with me that A) she's cute and B) all the people who do horse riding are girls... lol.. but C) also i've never done horse riding, so i think i can have a lot of fun genuinely

Day 7 -
Nothing really happened today... i guess i practiced a bit more eye contact, and a bit more kino... saying hi to girls i knew by shaking their hands... you know in the nice way, not the weird way.. i should learn how to do the hugs with girls naturally again, i used to do it when i was younger, now i freak out if i think about doing it...
i did go to the mall, i had business, so no newbie mission... howeeeeeeever, for the life of me, i cant figure out how it works, there are like so many people there, and everyone behaves according to these social norms...

and finally...

if you make eye contact with a girl.... does she just keep looking....?
i say that because i made eye contact with a girl on the bus, and she just kept looking, and i was like, well i really need to get off the next stop and youre not all that lol, so i broke eye contact..and then got off the bus...
but then, maybe girls do that all the time?????????????
like a girl gave me eye contact in the gym, and i didnt want to be all creepy so i didnt look that long.. hmmmm,
i feel like im on the edge of a breakthrough,
either of becoming a supercreep, or a guy who can hold eye contact haha

I keep a whiteboard in my room - i came across an excellent post and adapted it, and wrote it up on the board.

"You have a solid immovable, perpetual state of confidence. You're on top of the world but above no one and below no one. You're just you and that's all that matters".

points to note - i've never written down a list of things i like about me, i think i will soon.
What i love about this journal is it makes me sound so.....crap.. it's because i'm not faking anything. at uni, i'm actually pretty confident, i get brief moments of alpha male ness, e.g. i'm known as one of the top guys in my class, but..well, i know that's because i pretend to be confident, rather than am... that's what i need. self-confidence.

im from new york...im not terrible with girls but i definately think im lacking in a few different areas and i need help....however im more hands on learning and wont be able to accurately take what im thinking and put it into action because i get too caught up thinking about it....i just gotta get shown the ropes sorta speak and im sure i can catch right on. but does anyone know where i wuld be able to find something of this sort?

Hi Santino - check out this subforum - you're lucky you live somewhere with organisation so u can get in the game quickly, i'm gonna pretty much have to go solo as i'm out in the sticks - good luck man =)

new-york-us-vf80.html

Day 8 -
Epic sign of DLV behaviour - i'm too negative in myself - I really am. I expect to be amazing from day 1, but that's just the sign of someone wanting to say they're a failure. Of course i won't be amazing. But i'm getting better. Today i went shopping
the weather went from sunny to becoming a snow blizzard - so there went any day game plans lol of making eye contact...
however i did browse around the indoor shops, and i definitely do feel more confident, and i'm getting more so..
things i did today which i don't normally - i made strong eye contact from a girl at a shop i was buying something from - we chatted a bit - she had such gorgeous blue eyes - it's actually quite fun looking into a girls eyes no? i've been missing out all of these years haha!
and oh, i talked to a girl whilst we were getting on the bus, only a short convo, and then she stupidly put her headphones on but sat next to me, so i couldnt talk to her in the next minute before she got off again - i did try to, but she couldn't hear me...
BUT i am happy i talked to her, because last sunday, i didnt talk to a similarly cute girl getting on the bus, i was just too shy...

it turns out - the way to be friendly to girls is to talk to them - who would have thought haha!

And oh - because of the blizzard, i'm home now, i should probably study, but i wont lie, i want to go the local uni student union to hang out..
the problem is - i'm a straight A student, but i'm finding 'becoming a man', much more interesting right now then stuff like supply chain management haha...
ahhh i'll study a bit i guess