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| BWANASIMBA | PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 10:44 pm | |
| Offline | | New to MPUA Forum | Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2012 9:16 pm Posts: 1 Location: Ellensburg | | Hola. My handle for this website is Bwanasimba and I am a college student in the state of Washington. I am 22 years old and although I been on dates but I have never had sex. That said, I have had the opportunity to have sex but it was with women who were:
Wanted to cheat on their boyfriends (something I guess I could do but I have had trouble getting past the "moral ramifications")
Wanted to cheat on their husbands (including one of which was a gorgeous track girl who, after checking her facebook page I discovered had been married for a grand total of three months and already wanted to commit adultery)
Really really drunk girls
At some point in my childhood I died on the inside, got super depressed and withdrew and became anti-social, nerdy, etc. I believed all the nice guy BS that I was told in school and church and society at large. I was depressed and hated myself because I felt I was supposed to be nice, but only felt good when I was doing boyish things and running around causing trouble (which of course meant I wasn't very nice and thus had to try harder). At one point it hit me though in high school that my mother had , despite telling me all the nice guy bs, was married to a former bad boy (my dad). When I first started going to college I was still depressed so I bought a ton of self help books, books on masculinity and, of course, pick up books. Over the course of the past three years I managed to overcome most of my insecurities and have gotten a lot more confident and flirty, and have taken much better care of myself physically and emotionally.
I currently have a couple girls I am planning to ask out who have shown interest in me at my church group who have shown blatent interest. I still have problems with women testing me, and have trouble taking a night of dancing or flirty conversation somewhere else. I guess I got some game but I definitely need refinement and I need to get over my last bit of insecurities. In particular, I am having trouble shaking off the belief that I am supposed to be deeply in love with someone before sleeping with them but I want to sleep around and pick up women.
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