Heaven knows why google makes me stumble across such... unique places?

I looked at the title and thought this place was something to do with art.
But then I glanced through the forums and thread titles and as I'm a girl, it was more than enough to make me feel out of place and alienated (probably quite rightly so - I really don't think I belong here).
I am nonetheless intrigued and confused.

I'm an open minded person, but I have little to no knowledge of this kind of society and at face value, it seems to me to be superficial if not shallow.
I'm not trying to stir up any trouble, I'm just trying to understand why a place like this exists and why men such as yourselves feel you need it?

Without meaning to insult anyone, from what I have looked at, I get the impression that it's a mixing pot of fancy words and social interaction methods
that really only boils down to a guy 'playing' a girl to get his cock wet..? Like, do you objectify us?
If the planets aligned and I met one of you and you tried these 'methods' (which by the way allyoursecretsarebelongtous ), would you only be interested in bedding me?
Or is there some kind of unseen romanticism and meaningful relationship formation to this?

Is this like a dirty secret for any of you? What would you do or say if a girl you'd successfully 'picked-up' found out you're part of such a society?

If it helps you deal with or get around confidence issues you have then awesome - what do you feel you get from it?

I hope you don't attack me, I know I don't belong here, I just like to understand things. o:

You're not the first girl to come across the forum.

This is a place for guys who have trouble with ladies in general. We are all here to learn how to communicate better with the opposite sex.

We all have different goals. Some are here simply to have sex with as many girls as possible. Others are here to find "the one" and have a meaningful relationship.

From my perspective, this society features people that like good relation ships aswell as people who just try to get an high score at having sex with girls. I have seen many diffrent.

I came here like many others to gain advice of how to be able to get romanticaly in contact with a girl, as I seem to fail at it.

Others make a "game" of it, they are just after the sex.
It's nothing to hide for a girl as I believe. no secret society or anything. just not a huge society.

I've definitely never seen something like it before and while copious amounts of sex are wonderful, they are not so without mutual respect and such. I guess I was questioning how people who would join such a society view women, but I guess it's wrong to assume all guys have the same views.

I can tell you that I personally started coming here because I have fairly bad social anxiety and low self esteem so in the past I kept winding up with women who chose me. I would go with the flow and stay with them because I felt my options were very limited - but inevitably these relationships would come to an end because I simply wasn't attracted romantically to the person I was with. I'm working on being able to attract many women so I can increase the odds of finding someone I really want to be with. In the meantime I am having fun as are many women. I don't pretend to want to marry anyone I don't think I want to be with - lots of women are looking for short term fun just as much as men are.

Because of everything I've read about PUA on this forum I am, in my 30s, just realizing that I am capable of attracting women that I am truly attracted to on a regular basis. At no other time in my life have I been able to attract so many women.

So for me it is to:

Increase confidence/self esteem (this can impact all aspects of life)
Meet more women with the hope of finding something long term
Not going to lie, have sex/make out with a few women as before PUA I had a very limited experience in that area.
Possibly make new friends along the way

I think in a lot of ways PUA helps many men realize their potential and can spare them from winding up in miserable relationships (or alone for that matter). It's not all about cheesy lines and lying to women to get them to sleep with you - it's about optimizing who you are by improving confidence/inner game so that you're not afraid to go after what you really want.

Word!

Agreed. I think society has been beating down on men for the last few decades. Some say it's a fair trade off for the centuries of male domination but we're all fragile people. This place helped me become more assertive with women but it didn't end there. I'm more confident with work, family, social outtings, etc. Pretty much any human interaction has been positively affected due to this society, which is far bigger and more interesting than just this forum.

This forum isn't just for guys, in fact a few girls post questions here and so do a few gay and lesbian folk.

Yes... Most women who stumble across PUA regard the guys who use it as weird, creepy and pre-mediated.

The reality is, this is just another facet for the love-lost guy to get the girl through techniques that are more likely to work.

A guy who has trouble with maths will go find a maths tutor. In the same way, this is an outlet for guys who have trouble obtaining a girlfriend.

It really is that simple. You will find most guys here use this to not only improve their sex lives, but improve their life in GENERAL.

The odd few will use PUA to manipulate and exploit women. Chances are these guys weren't the full ticket anyway... chances are these guys are manipulative in other areas of their lives anyway.

But in short this forum is here to help those guys looking to find that special one.

Now you wouldn't begrudge anyone looking for love would you?

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Lacey,

Basically guys here for the most part are doing women a favor. They are getting to a frame of mind where when they meet a girl, they don't automatically want to sleep with them. They are learning to talk to them while having as little anxiety. All the canned stuff is just a means for creating or maintaining a comfort level when party has something to say. Of course there are people who take advantage of these "techniques" but in general I think most peoples intention are not disingenuous. After all everybody wants someone, don't you?

_________________
"Success is more important than being right." We all have a little nerdiness in us. The trick is to find it.

Lacey, the PUA community is best thing that happened in my adult life. It didn't just teach me cheesy lines that girls fall on altough I have to admit it was the reason to join community. It helped me become more mature, it helped me become more successful in my career, it helped me to learn how to appreciate myself.

What happened later is that I became closer to revealing who I really am vs. what I was taught that I should be. Also, I'm unsure that I would ever realise some things about women, how to APPRECIATE women, how to accept them with all their good and bad sides.

My firm belief is that some things taught here, especially about inner game should be taught to children in elementary school, on how to view yourself as a more positive person, how to accomplish your goals and cope with problems/bad periods of your life.

I appreciate that. If it helps with issues, then that's great. I've thought about it a bit and at first glance without reading between the lines some aspects of it do seem like they are manipulative and designed to subliminally mindf*ck girls into bed, I guess it just depends what individuals do with the information that is given to them - some guys can be complete asses, not everyone is this way though.

Seduction is suppose to be spontaneous and exciting I never would have thought it could be broken down so mathematically.

The pick-up "community" gets a bad rap based on it's marketing. It holds the image of an underground society where you learn secrets. The term "lair" and the wealth of acronyms don't help much to shake that.

However, it's really just a collection of advice covering everything. You're dealing with guys who have poor social skills, narrow interests, no fashion sense, etc... Guys that really need help, but just get excluded instead. Who get told bullshit advice like "just be yourself" to get them to smile for 5 seconds while the other person runs away.

I'm sure you've met guys who were interested in you, but you could tell in 5 seconds you'd never want to have sex with them. Did you help them?

So far, this pick-up stuff is the only choice these guys have for any real improvement.

when i found this, i wasnt that bad. my relationships with women were, but socially not too bad. but after 2, 3 days of reading, i found myself even more friendly in public. My current friends always shot that sort of thing down and called me weird when i talked to people. so naturally i believed them. they were my friends. i would always get put in friend zone with the girls i really liked. and i think that's a positive thing in a way. again something this forum has brought me in my inner game. always think positive. i mean a girl wouldnt want to be friends with someone who creeped them out. and i would sometimes see myself as a creep because girls wouldnt fuck me. i'm literally learning what girls want. dont hate the player, hate the game. i do see where ur coming from too, and i was like that too. at first. but once i started reading, i wondered what i would be like 5 years form now had i not stumbled. this is just a forum on how to understand women i believe. not so much how to fuck. but if u understand women, they let you fuck... hahaha

Ok, what kind of help would I give in such a situation?

Let every guy who flirts with me fuck me because he may have issues?

And the advice of 'being yourself' I think is mostly contextual, if you're enjoying a one-nighter I don't think it's important, if you're interested in getting into a relationship though you can't do so under false pretenses.